Buying a Baby
by Angle1
Summary: Kaoru will do anything to save her kid brother Yahiko from dying of an illness. Kenshin is a rich widower in love with his dead wife who wants a baby of his own. They will work together but will they both get what they want? Modern K/K
1. The Interview

A/n Surprise everyone! I'm sure you had no idea I was working on yet another story huh? Well I seem to be having issues with my "My Love" series and thought this could help shake things up a bit between the growing infrequent updates. I hoping to keep it under a few weeks between updates of all my stories so that I don't go more than a week or so between updating _something._

Disclaimer. I don't own Kenshin and I take no creative responsibility of the story this fanfic is based off of. That belongs to Brenda Novak.

* * *

Chapter 1

"So is she going to be the one?"

Kenshin glanced up from the glossy photo he took from the manila envelop. His friend Sanosuke gazed over his shoulder at the picture of Kamiya Kaoru. Kenshin had looked at the picture again and again. He wasn't sure if it was her ink black hair, or her bright azure blue eyes or her mysterious smile that brought him back to her photo countless times since it came in the mail two days ago.

Was she the one? Kenshin hoped so. The sooner he got this over with the sooner he could go back to the man he use to be. So he hoped. His life would be changed, but anything from the way his life was now would be better. All the women were starting to look good at this point. The only thing that separated them was their background checks. That was when those that looked good become rejected.

Tall and lean, with spiked brown hair, Sano shoved his hands deep in his pockets as he walked to the wall of windows and looked down at the bustling streets of Tokyo below them. "So when are you going to meet her?"

"We have an appointment in fifteen minutes." Kenshin muttered after glancing at his watch. He cleared his desk of papers and tried to look busy. He hoped that Sano got the message and excused himself; these interviews were already hard without an audience.

"How did you get the word out anyway? I'm sure you didn't put an ad in the paper." Widower, looking for single woman to sell her baby.

"A few discreet friends are spreading the word around for me, that's all."

"Nice to have strings to pull and small favors to ask." The taller man looked around Kenshin's office. "It looks like a toy store in here." Sano nudged a life sized teddy bear with his foot and it toppled over next to a few boxes of chocolates. "How many have you interviewed already?"

"I wasn't really counting. Why?"

"Because I have a feeling that you're making a mistake."

Kenshin snorted softly to himself. The mistake happened eighteen months ago when a drunk driver ran a red light and took away his life. But he wasn't going to start thinking about that right now. Ironic because Tomoe was all Kenshin had ever thought about in these past months. Sometimes the memories would swirl in his head so much he would lose track of time, or where he was…lost in the scent of her perfume or the feel of her silky raven hair on his cheek.

The memories reminded Kenshin of the heaven she showed him during their short marriage, and introduced to him the concept of Hell.

"So?" Kenshin rubbed at his temple.

"So haven't you learned anything from all of this?" Sano waved a hand at all the gifts sitting in the corner of his office.

"I know that it's not as easy as one would think. It's hard to pick one that's just right. And I never dreamed that women could and would be so aggressive, that I did not."

"Dangle over ten million yen in front of anyone and you're going to see their bad side sooner or later." He scratched the back of his head. "You could give it some time. Tomoe hasn't been gone long; you could fall in love again."

Kenshin felt the muscle in his jaw twitch. How many times were people going to say those empty words to him? Couldn't anyone understand that he didn't _want_ to fall in love again? He wanted Tomoe and their unborn child back.

"I've noted your objections" Kenshin growled deep in his throat. "Anything else?" Kenshin tried hard to swallow back the sudden pain and the urge to be violent.

"No, I'm leaving." Sano said after watching him a moment more. "I just wish you would think about it. This has trouble all over it man."

"You seemed to like trouble." Kenshin threw over his shoulder.

"Mr. Himura?" A soft voice said at his office door. He turned to see the woman in the picture standing at his doorway; her hands nervously twisted a large leather messenger bag.

"I know I'm a little early, something had come up and I can't stay long. I tried to call but all I got was a recording. I hope that's alright." Large blue eyes darted about, taking the office in.

"That's fine," Kenshin hoped his smile was welcoming. "My secretary is out for the day. You must be Ms. Kamiya." Kenshin stood up from his desk.

"Yes." She stepped further into his office.

Kenshin expected her to say. 'Please, call me Kaoru.' But she didn't. Calling her Ms. Kamiya was entirely too formal for what they were about to discus. But that was just fine with him. The more professional they kept it the easier it would be for both of them. "This is my partner Sanosuke Sagara." He indicated with his hand to Sano who stood to the side. Sano's face was bright; he was such an open book sometimes. The taller man strode over to the woman and shook her hand enthusiastically. Kenshin noticed that she wasn't wearing any fingernail polish or wore any jewelry. A strange and small detail that already set her apart from all the other applicants.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Ms. Kamiya." Sano said.

Kaoru smiled back hesitantly before glancing over at Kenshin and then taking in the sight of stuffed animals, balloons and boxes of candy. Décor that didn't match the ink paintings, katana swords and samurai armor that he had decorating his office.

"Sanosuke here was just leaving." Kenshin walked from around his desk and shot Sano a meaningful look. Sano made a face at Kenshin while the woman had her head turned away. But then the lanky man managed to maneuver his way out of his office. Kenshin followed and shut the door behind his partner to insure their privacy.

"Please have a seat. Can I get you something to drink? Tea? Coffee?" From the way he could see her hands shaking, it looked like she could use something warm in her stomach. In fact she looked as if she needed something more than tea, such as a few weeks worth of meals and someone to make sure she ate them. The woman in the photo had laughter in her eyes and her porcelain skin glowed with youth. But Ms. Kamiya in the flesh looked tired and strained. Dark circles underscored her large blue eyes and her cheeks held a hint of hollowness. And even with the classy sheath-like dress and jacket she wore, Kenshin could tell she was far too thin.

What happened to the young, happy looking woman in the picture? Had she become ill?

"I don't really have time for coffee or tea. Thank you though." She hovered around the leather chair, as if thinking of taking a seat. But it seemed she was in a hurry because she decided against it. Her gaze met his from across the desk and the laughing eyes in the picture became direct and business like, as if she were one of his associates and were far more piercing. "Actually, I'm not really sure I should be here or if this is what I want."

Kenshin was taken about by her honesty. "Why did you come then?"

"Why would anyone come?" The woman shot back with a slight shrug.

"You need the money."

She nodded.

"For what?"

"Does that really matter?" her lips twitched in a faint smile. "Is it important for you to know how I'm going to spend the money?"

Kenshin walked around his desk and on the corner of it. He steepling his hands as if thinking. "Ten million yen is a lot of money."

Ms. Kamiya nodded. "No one knows that better than me, Mr. Himura. I'll be honest with you. I need to raise nine million, eight hundred-sixty-two thousand, five hundred and ten yen."

The exact figure of money surprised Kenshin, and she seemed to expect that. "For what?" he asked again.

Ms. Kamiya smoothed her already perfect dress. "That's my business."

Kenshin lifted an eyebrow in surprise. This woman certainly wasn't like the others he had interviewed. Most of the women gladly gushed over the new house or car they would buy with the money. One woman even tried to persuade him by saying she would donate half the money to a charity. Other still offered sexual favors for the money. Favors he didn't want and certainly didn't ask for.

Then again, it was hard to find a healthy-minded woman to do what he was asking for. He had anticipated as such, that was why he was taking certain precautions. "I want to protect my investment. And part of that is understanding your attitude to the compensation."

"Investment, compensation?" she made a sound of disgust before letting her head rest in her hands.

Kenshin quickly came to the conclusion that Ms. Kamiya was the most normal minded woman he had talked to so far. Her judgment was damning, though unspoken, it stung him and he stood up from the corner of his desk. "I'm sorry Ms. Kamiya; I can see that this isn't going to work out, and that we wouldn't make very good business partners. I'm sorry for wasting your time."

Something akin to fear came to her eyes and surprise flashed crossed her face. What did she expect him to beg for her to help him? Apparently she didn't know what the money was for.

"Wait. She held up a delicate hand to stop him. "We got off on the wrong foot. Maybe we could try again?...please?"

Kenshin remembered the two interviews he had ready to go tomorrow and the countless women he had already rejected. They were calling him constantly and sending him things, hoping to change his mind. He had to find someone fast while he could still stand the onslaught and before his office ran out of room. And even though they had a rough start, something about Ms. Kamiya struck a cord deep in Kenshin, something with her deep sapphire eyes.

"Fine." He heard himself sigh. "Why don't you sit down this time?"

Kaoru perched herself on the very edge of the seat and rested her large messenger bag on her lap.

"You said on the phone that a friend gave you my number?"

She nodded. "Yes Misao Makimachi. She got it from her doctor. A Dr. Takani."

Dr. Megumi Takani was an old friend and one of Kenshin's few confidants. They had discussed this idea at his physical three months ago. It seems she decided to help him after all. "And you called because you need Nine million yen?"

"And some change."

"For something you won't tell me."

"It's not a big secret. It's just business, if we decided to…to work together, I want my personal life kept as separate from yours as possible. I'm sure you can understand."

Kenshin did understand. And he felt the same way, which gave Ms. Kamiya a point in her favor. "What do you do?"

She blinked in surprise. "I'm in my second year of med school. I want to become a pediatrician."

"Now I know why you need so much money."

A faint smile not unlike the one in her photo flittered past her lips before her gaze fell to the floor. "So would you like to explain some of the details to what you have to propose or have I lost the chance of …being the one you select?"

Kenshin sat at the corner of his desk again so he wasn't hovering over her like some mafia thug. "Let's just say I want to spend a few more minutes with you before I decide that."

Her hands knotted together but when she looked up at him, her unique beauty and that mysterious something that haunted her eyes struck him again.

"I'm usually not so difficult to get along with." She said softly. "I do sometimes have a temper and lots of pride. I'm sorry about earlier." She tipped her chin up to show her sincerity.

Kenshin winced; surprised that even the dream of graduating from med school could bring such a proud woman to her knees. "I'm not looking for an apology, Ms. Kamiya."

"Kaoru."

Maybe they were starting to get somewhere at last. "Fine, Kaoru then. Call me Kenshin."

"I know you want a baby, Kenshin. Would you care to tell me why you can't have one the normal way?"

He cleared his throat to dislodge the lump that suddenly sprang up to strangle him whenever he talked about Tomoe. "My wife died in a care accident eighteen months ago."

Kaoru's eyes grew wide for a fraction of time. "I'm sorry."

"She was carrying our unborn child, a son. The doctors couldn't save either of them."

"How terrible." She bowed her head slightly at his pain. Her words were simple and the same as everyone else. But something in Kaoru's tone and the way her eyes became downcast told him that she knew his pain, heard the silent screaming in his soul and he hated the vulnerability her knowledge in him inspired.

Pushing off his desk, Kenshin wandered to the wall of windows so he wouldn't have to see the pity on her face. He didn't want her pity, thinking it better to have her harsh judgment instead. "I just want the child I was denied, Ms. Kamiya…Kaoru. It's as simple as that."

"Simple?" she echoed. "Nothing about this is simple, I'm sure you must understand that."

"It's as simple as we make it."

"How do you plan to…I mean, how would I…?"

Kenshin kept his face to the window to spare her embarrassment. "Become pregnant? You'd be artificially inseminated, of course. I want this to be handled as professionally as possible, in every way, that I do."

"Of course." She let out the breath she seemed to have been holding. "And once I'm pregnant?"

He turned toward her. "You'd carry my baby, deliver it, then turn the child over to me and walk away forever. And for your trouble, you'd be ten million yen richer."

She studied him as if trying to see what he was thinking behind the mask he had carefully placed on his face. "What if I were to miscarry?"

"You'd be paid in installments as the pregnancy progresses, the finally payment when you deliver, all nonrefundable payments."

She squeezed her eyes shut. "God it sounds like you're about to buy a house."

"The terms have to be clear, Kaoru, or we're setting ourselves up for disaster."

Kaoru composed herself; she sat up straight once again. "I realize that, this is just so… unnatural." To sell a baby.

Kenshin went back to gazing out of his office windows and down at the traffic in gridlock and the streams of people on foot that ebbed and flowed along with the traffic lights. He remembered Tomoe's rare but lovely smiles. The way she made him breakfast in bed out of the blue to tell him she was pregnant. Tomoe was gone and now there was no _natural_ way to achieve what he wanted, a child of his own blood. When the baby arrived, the end would justify the means. He would be saved from being alone, from slipping further away from humanity and maybe start _feeling_ again. "It's the only way."

"What if the baby isn't whole or healthy? What then?"

"Perfect or not, the child is mine. I'll take care of any medical bills. On the off chance that something should…happen to you in delivery, the money will go to your heirs."

"That's a comfort at least."

He glanced over his shoulder, surprised by her slight sarcasm. She lifted her hand in defense.

"I know, I know, we have to talk about all possibilities and make sure everything is clear."

"It's a business deal, Kaoru. The more we think of it that way the easier it will be for us."

Kaoru nodded, "A business deal." She repeated to herself, then, more loudly, "when do you hope to finalize your plans?"

"The sooner the better." He thought of the sound of a baby's gurgles and babbles breaking the tomb-like silence in his empty house and to have someone to come home to at night made him want it all the sooner. The child couldn't come fast enough. "Are you interested in the deal?"

Kaoru bit her bottom lip as her forehead wrinkled. She sighed. "Yes."

"Then you'll need to fill out an application." Kenshin went to his desk and opened a drawer. His application got revised every time he interviewed someone. It grew thicker every day. By the time Ms. Kamiya finished answering all the questions he would know everything about her, from her shoe size to her grandparents medical history. "You are single right? That's very important."

She tucked a strand of her long blue-black hair behind her ear while her face was surprised that her marital status mattered to a man who was bending the law. "I'm divorced."

"Good." Even though he was surprised that she would be divorced at the tender age of twenty. He handed her the questionnaire, and her eyebrows shot up at the weight of it.

"I've seen dissertations shorter than this. When would you like it back?" she carefully tucked it into her messenger bag.

Kenshin wasn't sure how long it would take someone to fill out the application, no one had really past the interview part. Kaoru hardly passed with flying colors but so far she was better than any of the women he had talked to before. And she was at least interested in it enough to go to the next step. "I'm still interviewing, so you might want to get it back to me in a day or two."

"Fine." She glanced at her watch and stuck out her hand. "I have to go. Thank you for your time."

Kenshin clasped her hand in his, noting the delicate bones and soft skin. She had good doctor's hands, even though they were a bit cool to the touch. And though physical beauty was far from his primary concern he couldn't help noticing she had other good features, too-and genes that would make a pretty baby.

"Hello?"

A woman he'd interviewed a few days ago poked her head through the door and thrust out a huge cookie bouquet wrapped in purple cellophane with anime style cat faces printed on it.

Kenshin held back and groan as he rubbed his temple again.

"I'm sorry to interrupt." Her voice was sickly sweet. "But I thought you might enjoy these and aren't they darling!"

"Miss-"

"Rina, silly. Call me Rina remember?"

Kenshin tried to suppress the twitch that started to return to his jaw. With Rina came the memory of the other bold women his offer had enticed, and suddenly Ms. Kamiya's cool reserve looked far more appealing than it had a moment ago. "Rina I told you I would call you when I made my decision. I'm sorry that it's taking some time-"

"My phone's been on the blink and I thought you might have tried to reach me." She came into the room, ignored Kaoru and shoved the cookies into his face so he could get a better look at them before setting them on his desk next to some flowers someone sent him yesterday.

Kenshin looked at the cookies and knew there would be more where that came from if he didn't hurry and pick a woman. He needed to stop Rina and her competitors. "Actually, Rina…I'm glad you came." He heard himself blurt out. "Because I think I've reached a decision."

"Yeah?" Her smile brightened as she positioned herself on his desk so that he could see her ample cleavage by bending forward ever so slightly. "Who's the lucky girl?"

"Ms. Kamiya and I still have to go over her application but if she agrees to the background check and everything else is in order, then _she_ is." Kenshin glanced at Kaoru and saw those expressive eyes widen. He also noted again, the thinness of her body and drawn look on her face. "If she passes the physical." He added

* * *

Note 10 million yen = around 120,000 U.S dollars or about 80,500 U.K pounds.

A little short, but sweet. Yes, Kaoru is offering to sell her baby for money. That's kinda shady but she has a good reason. I already have a few more chapters typed up, if you think this story is good enough to continue, please leave a review and let me know. Thanks for reading everyone!


	2. The Lie

A/n Wow I had a great response with the first chapter. I figured I better hurry and post this one as well. I know the idea of surrogate isn't such a taboo topic like it used to be. But it still sounds bad when someone says they are going to sell their baby. It seems something Kaoru would Balk at, unless she had very good reason. I have a feeling she'd be haunted by the idea. I want to thank all my reviewers, their reviews for this story was very thoughtful and deep. Many talked about Kenshin's and Kaoru's character and how they might react to this sort of thing. I'm very, very interested to hear more discussion on this. So without further ado.. on to the story.

Disclaimer. I don't own Kenshin or Brenda Novak

* * *

Chapter 2

That night, Kaoru traced the blue veins that sat just under her baby brother's translucent skin as he slept, curled up on his side on a hospital bed big enough to swallow him. Yahiko's breathing was noticeably shallow, but after fifteen minutes of studying the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest, Kaoru couldn't decide whether or not he was resting any better than he had been the night before. The last round of chemotherapy had been hard on him and had really sucked out what energy he had. Poor thing. But even at such a horrible price, the treatment did little to stop the lymphoma.

Kenshin Himura's idea of an application lay in her lap and thought she may as well use this time to fill it out. Who knew when Yahiko's vomiting would start again and would need her to hold and comfort him? But Kaoru found it hard to fill her head with other things with the fear that death would creep in and steal her six year old brother away.

"Gezz, Kaoru, what are you still doing here?" A voice whispered harshly from the doorway. Kaoru looked up to see her friend of many years, Misao, at the door. Almost like a sister, Misao had been with her through school, her short marriage and divorce and when Yahiko became ill. Kaoru knew she wouldn't have been able to survive it all if Misao hadn't been there to help her bear the burden ever so often.

"I can't leave him here, you know that." Kaoru said simply.

Misao smiled sympathetically as she walked into the room. "Yahiko's been in and out of the hospital for over a year I know you're going to collapse if you don't start taking care of yourself."

"I'm fine Misao." As though contradicting her words, the weariness Kaoru felt sank a little deeper in her body. She forced herself to smile. "And _you_ shouldn't be talking, what are you doing here…again? You've spent almost as much time here as I have."

Outside the soft sounds of the hospital poured into the room. Kaoru was so use to it now it was like a comforting white noise that often lulled her to sleep when she stayed over all night. Misao shrugged. "You and Yahiko are like family to me. That bum you were married to isn't here for you, but-"

Yahiko shifted and Kaoru waved at Misao to lower her voice. "I don't need him, even if he was here."

Misao lifted her eyebrow, skeptical of Kaoru's statement. She then blinked it away and wrapped her small arms around her friend in a hug that she gave everyone. "There was nothing but noodles in your cupboards, please tell me you ate something today."

Kaoru couldn't remember whether she had or not, but she wanted to save herself from a scolding she was in for. Misao's tongue lashings were the stuff of legends. "What were you doing in my cupboards? You'd better not have been cleaning my house again."

"Damn straight I was. The last thing you need to worry about is cleaning and cooking. You'll find my homemade casserole in the fridge; you better eat it when you get home."

"Damn straight." Kaoru echoed, thanking whatever fates sent Misao into her life all those years ago. Misao dropped her purse and sat in the chair between the wall and the hospital bed. Misao may be a petite, whip of a woman but her heart was big and warm. Kaoru watched as she watched Yahiko.

"Do you think he's getting any better?"

Kaoru let her gaze drop to the soft black fuzz that was all the hair her six year old brother had left, she shook her head.

"Did you call that guy Dr. Takani told me about?"

"Yeah." She held up the thick manila envelope that held Mr. Himura's twenty page questionnaire. "He gave me this. Can you believe it; he actually gave me an application to fill out to become the mother of his child. This has to be a first, maybe he should publish it. Or maybe, I'm the only one who thinks something is wrong about buying a baby." She frowned. "What's worse, he wants me to take a physical. To be honest, I'm surprised he won't have me sent to some DNA testing place to make sure the baby will have the right color hair and eyes.

Though with Kenshin's deep crimson hair and haunted dark purple eyes, Kaoru wondered what a child from him would look like.

Misao folded her arms across her chest. Kaoru's first indication that Misao wasn't going to be as understanding as Kaoru wanted her to be.

"Kaoru, his wife died while she was carrying their child."

"Says, Kenshin Himura. Some guy puts up ten million yen and woman fall all over themselves to get in line, but has anyone checked his story? What if it's not true?"

"Did he seem like a lair to you?" Misao kept her arms across her chest.

Kaoru pulled up her memory of Kenshin. His long hair meticulously pulled back in tight braid, his face that was soft featured yet held the essence of masculinity. Delicate yet strong hands and the grace of a martial artist. His jaw was strong and his unusual lavender eyes that contrasted sharply with the darkness of a slight five-o'clock shadow. Though he wasn't much taller than she was, he held himself with confidence. He seemed driven, focused, intense but he didn't seem insincere.

"No, but good looks and an expensive office are no reason to trust a man, Misao."

Her best friend grinned. "He's good looking huh?"

Kaoru felt herself blush. She would have to be blind to not notice his looks even if their partnership was strictly business yet undoubtedly personal at the same time. She tried to ignore it and hoped Misao wouldn't notice. "He's not bad."

"Not bad? Coming from you he must be a knock out. And if he's _that_ good looking he could most likely get any number of women pregnant without spending a dime."

Kaoru wasn't sure she wanted to let herself be convinced by Misao's rationale. Despite how handsome he was and his alluring physical charms, she was mad at Kenshin, for reasons she didn't fully understand yet. He was offering her the one thing she needed. And he wanted the highest form of payment. One baby to save another. "Maybe he thinks it's some sort of exciting game. She muttered to herself. "Maybe he gets his jollies from holding so much power over a woman. To have us all groveling at his feet for the privilege of bearing his child. You should have seen all the gifts-bribes really-stacked in his office."

"I don't think so. Dr. Takani grew up next to the Himura family and says she's never met a better man, or someone more capable of leading a successful life."

"What, does Dr. Takani make a percentage for brokering the deal?" Kaoru muttered.

Misao batted away some short locks of her hair from her face. "Don't be such a cynic, Kaoru. Kenshin Himura wants his own child and no longer has a wife to give him one. Just because he's creative and playing it safe by giving out applications and taking physicals does not mean such an alternative route is bad."

"Playing it safe would be waiting until he falls in love and marries again. Playing it safe would be doing it the _right_ way."

"The right way didn't work out for him. What if he feels no other woman could replace his wife?"

Kaoru had thought about this, wondering if she'd grown suspicious of all men because of what had happened with her father and Saitou. Her father had left her mother well before Yahiko had been born. Not that they had ever been close, he was gone because of his job most of the time. And Saitou had run off after finding out Yahiko was ill and he and Kaoru were going to have to take care of him. It only confirmed what Kaoru's mother use to say before she died shortly after giving birth. Men don't have what it takes to stick around when the going gets tough. It's women who hang on through thick and thin.

"I'm just saying that it's normal for him to have a few questions." Misao went on.

"A few questions?!" Kaoru echoed. "Look at this folder. He's expecting me to write a book. Have I ever taken any drugs? Have I had unprotected sex in the past ten years. Do I drink or smoke? Have I ever sought or obtained psychological counseling? How much caffeine do I drink? I'd have to be a holy mother to past this test."

"Well you've come closer than anyone I know. You've never smoked or taken drugs. You need counseling for what you are going through right now but you never sought or obtained it, so you can feel pretty good about saying no to that. And you haven't slept with anyone other than your ex-husband."

Kaoru did a quick check to make sure Yahiko was still asleep before turning back to Misao and whispered in a low hiss. "What about that guy I went home with from the Hakata bar last year? You took over for the babysitter I'd gotten to watch Yahiko that night and picked me up at his house the next morning, remember?"

Misao grimaced. "You can't count that. Your husband ran off with some high school brat. I think what you did was pretty understandable."

For a while after Saitou left, Kaoru had frequented the bar, club and restaurant scene as a way to vent her emotional upheaval. But two things slapped her back awake and showed her that she was about to slip down the wrong path in life. One was sleeping with a total stranger and waking up in a place she didn't know next to a man she didn't remember and second was Yahiko's health deteriorating.

"Judging from this list of questions I doubt Kenshin Himura will find it very understandable." Kaoru muttered.

"Then don't put it down." Misao said matter-of-factly, which was different than Misao's brutally honest approach in life.

Kaoru gaped at her friend. "You're kidding right? Why give me an application if I'm only going to put down what he wants to hear?" she jabbed the end of her pen into her mouth and chewed on it. "Besides, I agreed to a background check."

"What are the odds of anyone finding out about that one night? You might not even get the job anyways." Misao added softly.

"I don't even think I want the job."

Misao turned her attention to Yahiko's sleeping form and her face morphed to one incredibly sad. "You don't have a choice, Kaoru. You're insurance is paying for the hospital stay, but the transplant is going to cost over ten million yen and it's not covered by the insurance. We tried hard but we've only been able to raise…how much?"

"Four and a half million yen…give or take.

"And no hospital is going to do the transplant without being paid in full first. We've already talked about this."

Kaoru reached across the sterile white sheets and took Yahiko's small, frail hand. Her head was starting to ache, but it only bothered her a bit more than the burning behind her eyes and much less than the ache in her heart.

"What did Kenshin say when you told him what you would use the money for?"

"I didn't tell him about Yahiko yet. I don't see any reason to bare my heart and soul when I wasn't sure I even wanted to do this."

Misao watched her. "Will you? You're going to go for it if he picks you, right?"

Kaoru sighed. Everything seemed muddled together. It was no longer what she wanted or what Kenshin wanted. It was about a sick little boy who needed a bone marrow transplant and Kaoru would do anything to get it.

"I'm still thinking about it." She said at last.

… . . …

The Akabeko restaurant where Kenshin told Kaoru to meet him was dim and was a cool break from the April sun. It made it seem far later in the day than it really was. Kaoru stood at the front door for a moment to let her eyes adjust to the darker room. The smells of the restaurant greeted her faster than the hostess's smile. Though the place seemed warm, it did nothing to chase away the chill under her skin. She was going to do it. She was going to sell her baby for her brother's life. Of course she had to convince Kenshin Himura that she was the right woman to bear his child. All she had was the word of Dr. Takani and that of a few of his clients who all said Kenshin was an honest, smart man who deserved to be a father. It was a shame that fate stole it all away from him.

Like fate was trying to steal Yahiko away from her. But Kaoru wasn't going to let that happen without a fight.

"One for dinner?" The hostess asked.

"No, I'm meeting someone." She hoped she got there before he did. It would give her some time to calm her nerves after the recent talk with Yahiko's doctors. She never believed that Yahiko's chances would be so slim. The boy was hanging on by a thread.

"Name?" The hostess looked down at her podium where a book rest.

"Himura Kenshin."

"Mr. Himura is already here." The hostess flashed a dazzling smile. "Follow me."

Just her luck, Kaoru thought as she followed the brisk hostess to one of the many private dinning areas. The hostess slid open the bamboo and rice paper door and Kenshin looked up from the drink he was nursing. He sat with impeccable posture at the small table in the center of the room.

"You're early." He said conversationally as she set her messenger bag down and kneeled at the opposite side of the table. "I take it you didn't have any trouble finding the place."

"No." She felt his eyes run over her hair, tied in a sloppy bun at the top of her head with a hair ribbon, knit top and blue jeans. Kaoru suddenly wished she took the time to run home from the university to freshen up a bit. But she went straight from med school to the hospital to watch some Anime with Yahiko before driving straight here.

"Can I order you a drink? A glass of wine or something?" he asked.

Kenshin looked as though he was having a mixed drink but Kaoru wasn't here to enjoy herself. Plus she kind of swore off drinking after going home with a stranger. So she asked for a simple club soda. They were left in relative privacy and Kaoru pulled the application from her messenger bag and slid it across the table. "I answered all the questions I could."

Kaoru cringed inwardly as Kenshin picked up the packet and started leafing through it. What uncomfortable personal answers was he reading? Did he know she was lying about that stranger she slept with? Kaoru did end up lying about it on the application. Yahiko needed the transplant badly and to her, it justified the falsehood.

Kenshin paused in the middle of the application and Kaoru started to squirm. What was he reading about her? Her regular menstrual cycle? Or the one asking about her marital history. Kaoru suddenly wished she took the thing home and went over all the questions one more time. Well this was a business dinner, there for a perfectly acceptable place and time to talk business. Kaoru never thought she would talk business about her reproductive organs.

Just then the waitress softly slid open the door, kneeled down by the table and set her club soda on the table, gave Kenshin a second drink and handed them a thick, gold tasseled menu. She then waited silently and patently at the side while they leafed though the pages.

"Finding anything you like?" Kenshin asked after a few minutes of silence.

Kaoru peeked over the menu she was using to hide her embarrassment behind. She forced a smile and hoped it looked genuine. "I think I'll have the grilled fish and rice noodles." She suddenly felt as if he was analyzing her choice.

He nodded once, his eyes darting to the menu for a moment. "I'll have a steak, medium-rare." The waitress bowed, took their menus and silently slipped out of the little room and shut them back into privacy. He popped open a briefcase and leafed through it, pulling out a second packet. He flipped through both packets, as if comparing them. She suddenly felt as if the word _Liar_ was tattooed on her forehead.

His forehead suddenly creased. "You put here that your grandmother died of heart disease?"

"Yes, but she was eighty-eight. Hardly a premature death."

Kenshin nodded as he returned to the application. "You hardly put any information about your father."

"I didn't know much about him." She said simply. But a lifted eyebrow told Kaoru that he expected to hear more. "He left when I was a child. He never did like the idea of having a family. I haven't seen or heard from him since the day he left." Leaving her mother pregnant with Yahiko and alone to deal with it. Kaoru was a young teenager and never thought there was any kind of strife in the family until she woke up one morning to get ready for school to find her father packed up and climbing into a cab. Her mother was locked in her room sobbing. Kaoru missed school that day.

"I see." He said as he returned to reading the application. Kaoru suddenly wished she had ordered something harder than bubbly water.

"You had a miscarriage?" Kenshin looked up from the paper, his face was slightly startled.

Kaoru gulped her soda water. "Right after I got married I became pregnant, but it only lasted ten weeks."

Kenshin's eyes became soft, but no less analyzing. "What happened?"

A stressful marriage. "The doctor had no idea. He said it was pretty common to miscarry in the first twelve weeks. I was cleaned up and sent home." She gulped more of the tasteless fizz and wished their meal would hurry up and get there to divert the conversation for a moment.

"It says here you've never taken drugs."

"Right." At least she didn't have to lie about that.

"Not even experimented? With friends? No pot…acid?"

Kaoru thought back to her short time in the college kid scene. She had heard the stories about the others at the parties and Kaoru had never once been tempted to lose control of herself and her mind. There was only that one time that she drank far more than she use to right after Saitou left. "Not once." She said.

Kenshin nodded simply and went back to reading. All too soon he came to the question Kaoru had been dreading since she answered it. "You say here that you've never had unprotected sex with anyone other than your husband."

Kaoru let her eyes drift away for the first time. She couldn't look into those intense dark lavender eyes while she lied. She didn't trust her voice so she simply nodded her answer. She nervously tucked some lose hair behind her ears.

He was silent for a moment. "Do you want to change your answer?"

Kaoru forced herself to drop her hands and shoved them under the table and out of sight. "No, …no why would I want to do that?"

"You gave me permission to do a background check remember."

"So?"

"So.." he pulled up the second packet. "There's a woman who worked as a waitress at a place called Hakata Bar. She claimed you slept with her boyfriend, the bartender."

Kaoru felt her mouth drop as the blood rushed to her face. "You must have turned over every single rock to find that information." As embarrassed as she was, Kaoru was impressed. What kind of detectives did he have to hire to find that out? She didn't even know the man had a girlfriend.

"That's what a background check is for. Did you think I wouldn't bother, Kaoru?"

The embarrassment of being caught in a lie ebbed away and quickly turned into anger. "What else did your little background check dig up Mr. Himura? That I was the whore of my high school?"

She noticed the tick in his cheek muscle but his voice was civil and even when he spoke.

"Were you?"

Kaoru snatched her messenger bag, dug around and grabbed a few hundred yen and tossed it on the small table before getting to her feet. "Enjoy my fish, Mr. Himura, I'm sorry for wasting your time."

… . . …

Kenshin sat at the Akabeko long after Kaoru had left. He shuffled though the report he had compiled on Kamiya Kaoru's background. He was certainly thorough enough for what he paid for it. Kaoru was the eldest of two children. Her mother died two week after giving birth to her younger brother. Her father appeared to have vanished off the face of the earth. Kaoru and her infant brother were raised by their only living family member, a Dr. Gensai. A man in his sixties who was a retired Doctor. He must have been where Kaoru got her inspiration to go to med school. She had good marks in high school and dated a bit in college before marring a popular athlete three years ago. Around that time Dr. Gensai's health had turned and sent her toddler brother to live with her.

A little over a year ago, Kaoru and her husband got a divorce after he ran off with a high school girl who worked at the local fast food joint at the mall. Kaoru was now living on student loans, money from her uncle Gensai. Plus whatever money she could get transcribing for doctors at her home.

Not an easy life for one as young and bright as Kaoru. But she had promise to do great things. Her background check showed that she had an inner strength and a passion. He admired that. She never did drugs or smoke and she didn't drink much except for the period after her husband left her. She wasn't promiscuous except for that one bartender. Few women lead as clean a life as Kaoru. Kenshin was sure he had found the one. Until she lied to him and he wasn't about to do business with someone he couldn't trust. This was a sensitive issue and he had to know his partner was trustworthy.

Though he could see how lying about the one-night stand could be tempting. Sex was uncomfortable for most people and she had such a large goal of becoming a pediatrician looming over her head. Kenshin could understand how she wouldn't want to lose her chance over a stupid, drunken decision. Kenshin was willing to over look one simple mistake but lying… he couldn't look over that. It seems Kamiya Kaoru was no better than the rest of the women.

Kenshin's cell phone rang just as he was packing away Kaoru's application. He hardly felt like talking but he answered it anyway.

"Hey, Kenshin! Did I catch you having a good time?" Sano's voice urged Kenshin to spill his guts. Kenshin looked around the room where he sat alone and thought about the house he would go home to, empty of life and alone. Kenshin sighed.

"Not even close Sanosuke."

"You need to lighten up Kenshin, or you're going to be one of those bitter old men that sit around in the park and gripes at people."

Kenshin sighed. "Sano, what do you want?"

"Oh yeah, I was cleaning up to go home and I found the missing page to that background check you had me do on the Kamiya girl."

Kenshin frowned as he picked up the small packet of papers. "No, I have pages one through four."

"Ah well, you see there was a fifth page that never got stapled to the rest."

"It's alright Sano, Kaoru just walked out on me a few minutes ago, that she did." How uncanny it was that Kaoru could light up the place and then take that light away with her. Sano was silent for a few moments.

"Well, if she's no longer in the running the information I have here might not matter."

"Go ahead Sano, nothing you say can change what happened."

"It might change why you think she contracted you."

"For the money." Obviously.

"Well yeah but there has to be more to it than that. That girl didn't strike me as a gold digger."

"Greed can strike anyone Sano, she's a starving med student, divorced and raising her little brother. That's any reason to need money." He could almost hear Sano shaking his head on the other end of the phone line.

"No, there's more to it than that."

"Like what?" Kenshin asked, just then the door slid open and the waitress silently stepped in and set his steak and Kaoru's fish on the table.

"Her brother needs a bone marrow transplant soon. Without it, he'll die."

* * *

A/n And the truth comes out. I did make Yahiko a few years younger here than he is in the Manga/anime. I wonder what Kenshin will do now that he knows about Yahiko? He did have a good reason for letting Kaoru go.. her lying and all. Ah the muse. Anyways. How was this second chapter? I hope it was just as good as the first? Should I just go ahead and continue with the story? Reviews are loved!


	3. The Hospital

a/n hello readers. Here is another chapter. I got so many wonderful and thoughtful reviews, I thought I should hurry and post this. I have a few repeat questions that I figured I would just answer here.  
One being Yahiko's age. I wanted him to be young enough to be a bit naive about things, but not too young. I figured six or seven was young enough.  
Second was Saitou. I admit that my first choice of Kaoru's ex-husband had been Shishio. But Shishio is way up there on the jerk scale and I can't imagine Kaoru being attracted to him in the first place. Then I thought perhaps Aoshi. But Aoshi's too loyal to ditch Kaoru and Yahiko when things got tough. The one that was in the middle of the two was Saitou. He's loyal and somewhat caring but he's also a jerk and a backstabber when the need calls for it. so I changed it from Shishio to Saitou at the very last minute.  
There's still a few more reviews that I have to answer, some really thought provoking ones. I'm surprised that this story has brought out so many different views. So enough of my chatting and on to the story.

Disclaimer. I don't own Kenshin blah blah, you know the rest.

* * *

The specialty care hospital was a soft creamy-white ten story building set in the middle of a large peaceful garden next to the university hospital. Inside it was quiet except for the sound of water rippling down a section of wall, like a magic waterfall that pooled in a small pond complete with tiny koi fish. But deeper into the building the more sterile and silent it became until everything was a stark white and the only sound there was, was that of fans and belts of the medical and office equipment. The air seemed constantly moving and became chilled and left a taste of antiseptic in the back of your throat.

Kenshin knew this wasn't just an ordinary hospital. The people here weren't just sick…they were all dying. The red-head tried to ignore it; he kept his eyes glued straight ahead to the reception desk. God he hated these places.

"I'm looking for Kamiya Yahiko's room." He said when he finally made it to the desk. The middle-aged nurse glanced at her watch then eyed the oversized stuffed anime type animal under his arm. Kenshin figured it could have been a cat, with wings and bolts of lighting on its fur. "Visiting hours are over."

"I know, I won't stay long." Already his stomach was starting to cramp. The hospital smell was threatening to gag him.

The nurse glanced at the stuffed animal again and nodded. "Alright, his sister is with him now, so I don't see how it could hurt. You'll have to scrub up first. Yahiko's immune system is very low right now. We have to be careful with what germs comes in contact with him." She did a quick check, looking down at a clipboard. "Take this hallway to the elevators." She pointed down the hall. "Go to the fourth floor. When you get off you'll see a set of doors leading to the oncology department. Right inside is a small anteroom where you'll scrub your hands, arms and face. Make sure the outer door is closed before you open the inside one. You don't have a cold or anything? Sniffles or a cough?" The nurse eyed him closely.

"No."

"Fine, Yahiko's in room three."

Kenshin thanked her and pushed away from the desk and headed down the hall. His unease increased with every step he took deeper into the hospital. Memories started to surface about the last time he was in this sterile environment. He didn't think it would be so bad. But standing there in the middle of the hallway, he was brought back to Tomoe's last days. He had spent many hours in a place just like this; waiting while doctors operated…hoping, praying staring dumbly into space and then eventually losing everything that mattered to him. Just as he reached the elevator Kenshin shot a look out the large windows to the parking lot beyond the garden. He could just make out his car from where he was. He could turn away now and go home rather than plunge himself into someone else's Hell and misery. He didn't owe Kaoru anything. They were strangers to him. She didn't even tell him that the money was going to her dying little brother. She didn't want him to know, wanted to keep him out of her personal life. There had to be others who could help her.

The elevator opened. But if she had someone…why would she come to him? Offer to sell her baby to him for help? Was he her last resort?

Kenshin winced, his shoulders sagging under such responsibility. _Damnit!_ He hadn't asked for this! Kenshin stomped into the waiting elevator. All he wanted was a child of his own. And he was willing to sacrifice every yen of life-insurance money he collected from Tomoe's death to avoid any further relationships. But the fear of responsibility didn't stop him from stepping out of the elevator at the fourth floor and walking to the oncology doors. No, it was Kaoru's gaunt cheeks and the lack of life in her beautiful eyes. The mystery to what had caused those things had been solved.

And Kenshin could understand her pain. He knew how she felt and as much as he didn't like the idea of getting involved, he just couldn't walk away. The nurse's station in the department was deserted. Kenshin washed up as he was told to before continuing. No one stopped him or asked him questions. He figured that people in this deep in the hospital were of no harm. No one greeted him, only the hushing sound of breathing machines and various beeps. There was no one to stop him from walking down the hall and poking his head into room three.

No one to stop him but himself. He hovered just outside the room until a soft voice pulled him in.

"Kaoru-chan, is that you?"

Kenshin didn't want to frighten the child by leaving his shadow across his floor, so Kenshin ventured inside. The boy was in a bed that seemed far too large for his small body. He looked too small to be six years old and his eyes were far too large for his thin face. Kenshin could tell that…in health the boy had dark olive-like skin but it had now faded to a sickly waxy-white pallor. His dark hair was thin and short, and he was bald in some areas. Yahiko's bones jutted out from under his thin skin that was webbed prominently with blue-green veins. No less than 25 IV tubes ran into both arms, his neck and a few in his legs.

The sight made Kenshin's heart clench almost painfully. He almost reached up to grab the pain in his chest. Even though he didn't know this child, Kenshin ached for his suffering.

"My name is Kenshin, Yahiko. I'm a friend of your sister's" He said to reassure the boy.

Yahiko eyed him carefully with his deep brown eyes. "I've never seen you before." He said doubtfully.

Kenshin smiled and he moved further into the room. "No, your sister and I haven't known each other for long, that we haven't. Did she go home to rest?"

"No, Misao made her go to the lunchroom to eat something."

"Misao's a smart woman. She's a friend of your sister's right?" He knew so, from the background check.

Yahiko frowned, still unsure about him. But after a moment he nodded. "Hey, what's that?" He pointed to the stuffed animal in his arms with obvious excitement.

"He's for you, but…" Kenshin eyed the hospital bed, "...I don't think you'll have room for him."

At this Yahiko scooted over to one side of the bed. "There's lots of room now."

Kenshin laughed softly and placed the stuffed creature on the bed. The boy seemed painfully thin next to the fluffy thing.

"Hey! This is Kuma!" Yahiko petted its bright colored fur. "Stuffed animals are for girls but Kuma is from a boy's anime. So I like him." He said matter-of-factly. He flashed Kenshin a bright smile and for a moment Kenshin could see the healthy boy Yahiko could be. The stabbing pain returned to his chest and he wondered if Yahiko would grow up to be the strapping young man Kenshin could see in him. And Kenshin wondered how a man could abandon his baby brother-in-law or abandon Kaoru for that matter. Kaoru seemed smarter than to marry someone capable of doing as such, but love is blind.

"What are you doing here?"

Kenshin turned to see Kaoru in the doorway gaping at him. She was still in the clothes she was wearing to the restaurant. He chose his words carefully.

"I have ten million yen in the bank, Kaoru. I can't see why we can't both get what we want." He watched as Kaoru startled eyes darted over to her brother.

"What is it you want Mr. Himura?" She asked just as carefully.

"I want my baby." He looked over his shoulder to Yahiko who was busy with his new toy. "And you want your brother." He took a business card from his pocket and scribbled on it before handing it to her. "Call me if you're still interested.

… . . …

"Who was that?" Misao demanded as she slipped into the room just as Kenshin left.

Kaoru gazed down at the card without really seeing it. "That's was Himura Kenshin." She said dumbly.

"Yeah! And look Misao, he brought me Kuma, isn't he huge?" Yahiko chirped from his bed. Kaoru wanted to punch the stuffed thing just to have something to hit.

"Yes he's bigger than you are, Yahiko-chan." Misao teased.

"Pish, he's bigger than even you, weasel girl." Yahiko teased back in their familiar banter.

"I thought so; he wasn't wearing a white coat so I knew he wasn't a doctor. So that was Himura Kenshin. Oooie what a looker, and did you see all that long hair? I can't believe he's gonna pay a woman to do anything."

"Hush Misao." Kaoru hissed, glancing back at Yahiko who had all his attention on the toy. "Yeah, he's handsome but that doesn't mean he's nice."

Misao blinked and lifted an eyebrow. "What has he done that isn't so nice?"

"Well…uh," Himura Kenshin hadn't really done anything other than catch her in a lie and offer her a large sum of money that she desperately needed to do something she really didn't want to do. But her back was against the wall and he was giving her a way out. So what was it about Kenshin that was making her angry?

Deciding that she was going to act out of her own good judgment and fear, that was what make her upset. None of those feeling had anything to do with anything Kenshin had done. At least the man seemed to want a baby for all the good reasons. All the people she'd talked to seemed convinced that Himura would make a good father. And she couldn't expect him to plop down ten million yen in her lap for nothing. Ten thousand yen maybe but not ten million.

"So he wants you to do it, right?" Misao asked in a hushed tone, her eyes on Yahiko.

Kaoru nodded.

"Well, are you going to do it?"

Kaoru nodded again. She had to, to save Yahiko. She could only hope that Kenshin was right in that working together would give them both what they wanted. Otherwise, if the bone marrow transplant didn't work and Yahiko died. She would have to give up her new baby after losing him.

And she would be alone.

… . . …

That night Kaoru tossed and turned in her bed. The nurse had insisted she go home and get some rest, nearly dragging her out of the room and pushing her out the door. She would never do Yahiko any good if she were on the verge of passing out at any moment. Kaoru had to agree but she hated leaving Yahiko alone, even if he was just sleeping. She never knew when things could go bad in a second. She hoped that Kenshin's money would help and the transplant would work. Kaoru squirmed under the covers that had tightly wrapped around her in her turning.

The phone on her bedside table seemed to be calling for her. No matter how she tried to ignore the fact that it was there, it kept calling her. Finally, with a sigh Kaoru climbed out of the covers and into a sitting position and grabbed the phone. "All right Damn it." She muttered and she snapped on the lamp and snatched Kenshin's card from the small table where she placed it. She wasn't going to get any sleep until she called. She jabbed in the numbers and waited as the phone rang. "There's no going back now." She sighed to herself as she heard the phone pick up.

"Hello?" Kenshin sleep heavy voice was heated and down right sexy in its raspy-ness. A jolt Kaoru had not felt in a long time passed through her and she shoved it away before it could wreck any havoc on her mind.

"Mr. Himura? I'm sorry to call so late." What time was it anyway? It had to be past midnight. "I just couldn't put my mind to ease until I called you about our agreement."

"Kaoru?" his voice was clearer now, more awake. There was a rustling sound. "You're going to do it?"

Kaoru closed her eyes for a moment. "Yes." She heard Kenshin exhale sharply, as if he had been holding his breath. Then silence, Kaoru broke it. "So…when do I go in for my physical?" Did she go to her doctor or did she see his? What would she tell Yahiko? When did she tell him? Right from the start or only after it was obvious she was having a baby?

"I'll get you in as soon as I can tomorrow."

So she would see his doctor. That was fair enough. He would trust his own doctor to tell him the truth. And he would have as much control over the situation as possible.

"There's just one thing." She said.

"What's that?"

"I want the money as soon as I'm pregnant. Yahiko needs his transplant as soon as possible. I don't want to wait nine months." Though it could take that long to find a matching donor.

"We'll see what the doctor says first, that we will." He answered softly.

There was another awkward silence that Kaoru tried to break. She was unsure how to end the conversation. She was going to have this man's baby…what does one say? "I'm….um…sorry about lying to you. At the restaurant." She suddenly blurted. Kaoru squeezed her eyes shut, happy that he couldn't see her right then. "I was so desperate to get help for Yahiko, I didn't want you to turn me away because of-"

"I know." His voice was a whisper and that jolt from before returned.

"I'm actually sorry that I went home with that guy too. I don't really remember much of what happened and I'm not proud of it." Kaoru kept her eyes shut as she cursed herself for blurting out information he didn't need to know. "I'm usually not that kind of person, I haven't done anything like that before, and I don't plan on doing something as stupid as that again."

"I can understand, your husband just left you. We all make mistakes."

Kaoru nodded to herself. "I guess I was still smarting, ego and all. My husband just ran off with someone in a cheerleading uniform."

"Sounds like someone not worth keep around anyways if that was all it took to draw his attention." He chuckled.

Kaoru fell silent for a moment. Saitou had some redeeming qualities. He was active and had strive for everything he did and his looks were better than most. But look any deeper than that and you would find nothing. Living with a person like Saitou was like taking care of a second child. Still…there was doubt. "I wonder if I might have done something to chase him away to another woman." She heard herself say before she could stop it.

"You mean to a girl? There's no excuse for something like that. If I were her parents I would have filed for statutory rape." He growled on the phone line.

"Well the parents were pretty upset when she ran off with him. She use to baby-sit for Yahiko. The whole thing was embarrassing. They didn't file any charges though, just made him promise to marry her once our divorce was final."

"Did he?"

"Yeah. When Yahiko got really sick I had to track him down to see if he was a match. I contacted everyone I knew. Blood relatives are the best bet through. I was his sister, yet even I wasn't a match."

"That's too bad, that it is." He murmured. "Did it bother you to have to talk to him again?"

"No, with Yahiko sick, he's all I really care about now. I didn't care if Saitou had a litter of children when I went to talk to him; I just wanted to find a match for Yahiko."

"He helped to raise Yahiko for a while; didn't he feel any sort of connection to the boy?"

"Somewhat. Saitou was always a bit iffy around illness. He did send us almost ten thousand yen when he found out how much the transplant would cost. I was surprised; he can hardly support himself and his wife now that he's jumping between jobs again." She heard Kenshin swear eloquently and that made Kaoru smile. She felt comfortable talking with Kenshin late at night over the phone. Like they were the only two people on earth, like their problems were only a story they were telling each other.

"Do you ever miss him?"

Kaoru paused, gathering her thoughts. "I miss the strength he use to be for me. Someone to lean on when times where getting hard those first few months Yahiko got sick. I'd be the strong one for my brother but when I was away from Yahiko, at home or in my room it was nice to have Saitou to break down on and just cry as he kept me going." She paused. "I wonder if he couldn't handle being the strong one." She muttered almost to herself as an after thought. "Negative emotions are hard for him. He can't seem to deal with them the way most people do. His temper rises. Our marriage was already on the rocks, I think he left because he couldn't deal with Yahiko's illness."

"Sensitive kind of man." Kenshin sneered.

"Sensitive but not strong."

"Sounds to me like you're better off without him, that you are." His voice calmed.

"Yeah." She yawned as she sank back into her bed. "I better go now and get some sleep. I have class in the morning."

"And a doctor's appointment, if I can get you in."

Kaoru sighed. "Right."

I'll call first thing in the morning after I find out and leave a message on your voice mail. Can you check it from school?"

"Yes I can." Kaoru was already fighting her heavy eyelids. "Would you like me to call you after I see the doctor?"

"No need. I'm going with you."

… . . …

Kaoru waved as she got off the bus in front of the clinic. Kenshin spotted her, turned and leaned against his sporty black car as she made her way to him. The scowl he wore was proof that he didn't just arrive himself. "Sorry I'm late, she called out." Kenshin pushed off his car and walked the few more yards to meet up with her. "I forgot I had a test today in school." She was only fifteen minutes late but she knew a man like Kenshin lived for punctuality.

"It's no problem. I was afraid you didn't get my message. I already checked us in, hurry, their going to call your name at any moment." They walked around the parking lot to the red brick four story building. Their pace was brisk and they took great care not to brush up against each other as they walked. What they were about to do was huge and Kaoru couldn't get over the enormity of it. It was so overwhelming to her. They were going to create a baby. A living, breathing, human. Ye they hadn't even touched or smiled or laughed with each other. It had to be wrong….right?

Kaoru shot Kenshin a look out of the corner of her eyes. His hair was pulled back tightly and braided, the small tassel of hair at the end of the hair tie brushed his backside as he moved. His shirt was crisp and white and he most likely had been wearing a tie but took it off before getting here. Narrow hips were accentuated by perfectly tailored pants. He had rolled up his shirt sleeves showing strong, lean arms. His skin was pale but not as pale as most office men. Surprisingly, his hands and arms were covered with nicks and scars. He clearly had some sort of active lifestyle outside his work. But he had obviously just come from his office.

"It's on the second floor." He said as he held the door open for her.

As Kaoru walked in she glanced at a plaque that held the names of all the doctors in the building. "Who are we seeing?"

"Dr. Takani."

Kaoru should have known.

"She's a general practitioner but also has her medical license for gynecology. She can do your pap smear and everything else today, which will save us some time."

_Pap smear? He just said pap smear without batting an eyelash. _Since when did men become so knowledgeable in this sort of thing? Getting a pap smear didn't bother her. It was the 'everything else' that made her nervous. What if going home with that stranger turned out to be the worst things she could have done and now she had AIDS or some other disease that rendered her unable to have children? She needed to distract herself. "How did you pick this doctor? Was she your wife's OB or something?"

Kenshin kept his eyes forward as he nodded. Kaoru felt a wave of sadness for his loss wash over her all over again. She could easily imagine Kenshin escorting his pregnant wife to all of her doctor visits. The whoosh of the elevator doors snapped Kaoru out of her thoughts and the pair walked into the elevator. A couple that had been following them also stepped into the small room. A man, and a woman who looked like she was about to have a baby at any moment. The doors closed and Kenshin punched the button for the second floor before turning to the couple.

"Dr. Takani or another floor?"

"Dr. Takani." The man said as he wrapped his arms around the woman's shoulders. "We're expecting our first."

"Congratulations."

"Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?" Kaoru asked, already fascinated with the pregnant woman.

"I wanted it to be a surprise but this one here." She punched the man in the shoulder playfully. "he just had to know she he looked at the ultrasound, and so I didn't want to be left in the dark so I had to look too." She laughed. "It's a girl."

The man turned to Kenshin and Kaoru. "What about you? Do you have any kids?"

Kenshin said no at the same time Kaoru said yes. Then they both reversed their answers. But before they could explain anything the elevator doors opened and the distracted couple stepped out.

"Good luck." They murmured, too excited now to bother with a couple who didn't know if they had any kids.

Kaoru sighed as she and Kenshin followed the couple. If she was already this uncomfortable, how was it going to feel once she looked like she had a beach ball stuffed under her shirt? Ten million yen. She chanted to herself. Nine months of this for ten million yen…for Yahiko. Kaoru prayed Kenshin wouldn't accompany her to all the appointments. And what about Lamaze classes? Would he want to go to those?

"Ms. Kamiya?"

Kaoru jumped as a nurse held a door open for her. The nurse also held up a clear plastic cup that Kaoru snatched out of her hands as fast as she could.

"We need a urine sample please." The nurse said and Kaoru felt heat flood her checks. She wasn't embarrassed about such things…just doing such things in front of Kenshin. Would he want to be in the room when she graduated to stirrups and pelvic exams? Kaoru felt she had better talk to Mr. Himura and convince him that she should do her exams without him. Kaoru refused to look at Kenshin as she ducked into the small washroom.

What if he wanted to be there for the birth and wanted to cut the cord and everything. Kaoru felt her eyes grow wide at the thought. What if an unknowing nurse mistook their relationship and invited him into the birthing room? Suddenly Kaoru felt as though there were many aspects of this business deal that she hardly thought about. Just how involved did Kenshin plan on being?

* * *

a/n Kinda late to be thinking about all this stuff now Kaoru. So Kenshin got to meet little Yahiko. Even though it was just a Hi and some introductions. Their will be more Kenshin and Yahiko time soon, I promise. And of course some Kinshin/Kaoru fluff. We all love the fluff. Anyway's I'm pretty sure I'm going to continue this story, everyone seems to like it well enough and the reviews are thought provoking enough to keep me wanting to continue. So thanks for reading, your reviews are loved.


	4. The Idea

A/n Sorry for the little longer than normal wait for this chapter. Kudos for all my reviewers. I had some great reviews, many long, thought provoking ones. I hope to have the next chapter ready to go before I take off on vacation. But if there's no update for a few weeks, please don't worry, it just means I'm stuck up a mountain with no Internet and the updates will roll in soon. Hehe. So enough of my talking and on to the story.

Disclaimer. I don't own Kenshin

* * *

Chapter 4

Kenshin passed over the pile of women's magazines hopping to find something a little more interesting, even something sports related. But his search was in vain, so he settled for a woman's magazine that didn't look too…girly and more family oriented. The waiting room was painted pink and lavender and light classical music was piped in at a low volume. There were silk flowers and real flowers on the small side tables, paintings of geishas and other dancers on the walls.

But Kenshin was comfortable in the overly feminine setting. He had come here to see Dr. Takani with Tomoe many times. They had the ultrasounds here; he had seen his son suck his thumb. They talked about due dates and delivery options. They had joked with the nurses. After the near panic attack he had at the hospital yesterday he was sure coming to see Dr. Takani would bring those horrible feeling right back to the surface. But Kenshin felt nothing but growing excitement. This was the first step to filling the void Tomoe's death had created.

Kenshin thumbed through recipes, clothing and make-up tips without any interest. But then he came across and article on how to make home-made modeling dough. Kenshin blinked and sat up straighter. Now this was valuable information. He didn't want his baby to miss out on anything in its childhood just because there was no mother. Kenshin pulled out his leather bound day planer and jolted down the instructions. There were other articles he found important too. "Ten nourishing meals kids love." "Top Vacation spots for kids." Kenshin finally scribbled down a note to himself to subscribe to the magazine.

He had long finished the magazine and was thumbing through an older issue when the nurse finally called for him. "Mr. Himura, the doctor would like to speak with you now."

Kenshin's heart raced as he followed the soft blue-smocked nurse down the twisting hallways to the doctor's office. The exam had taken a bit longer than expected and Kenshin was worried. Did Dr. Takani find anything wrong with Kamiya Kaoru?

He found both doctor and Kaoru sitting opposite of each other at a large wooden desk. He remembered the cluttered office from long ago. Kaoru shifted nervously as Kenshin took his seat next to her. "I can't believe you talked into helping you do this, Kenshin." Megumi Takani smiled ruefully at him as she arranged a few papers on her desk.

Kenshin grinned at the young lady doctor. "You felt sorry for me remember?"

"I felt bad for what happened to Tomoe." Megumi agreed. "What sounded like a good idea in theory is very nerve racking in practice."

"Don't you think I'm ready to be a father?"

Megumi leveled her gaze at the red-headed man. "Oh, you're ready; I just don't think the world is ready to accept your means."

"I really don't care if the world is ready or not. I'm taking my destiny into my own hands. I'm plotting the journey to a life the world denied me."

"You sure do plot a direct course." The doctor mumbled. "What ever happened to good things come to those that wait?"

"I did my waiting and look where it got me. If you're feeling too much guilt in helping me, I'm sure I can find someone else." Now Kenshin leveled his hard, lavender gaze at Megumi.

"I was afraid you would say something like that." The doctor sighed and clasped her hands in her lap. "I would rather help you with this than see you go somewhere else. After spending so much time with you and Tomoe I just want to see you happy. I want to help."

Happy? Kenshin was unsure if even having a child would insure him his happiness. He knew there would be good days and there would be bad days. Kenshin also knew that he needed to develop some sort of bond with a living thing before he drifted off into a wasteland in his own mind, never caring about anything.

"How did the physical go?" he said as he noticed Kaoru sitting in silence.

"Other than being a little worn down, Kamiya Kaoru is in perfect health. I've given her prenatal vitamins which she is going to start taking right away. They will help build up her blood. Of course the full results won't be back from the lab for a few days, we'll know more by then. But for now everything looks good."

Kenshin wondered how much personal information Kaoru shared with Dr. Takani. Did she know about her brother? From the way Kaoru was discreetly checking her watch told the man that Yahiko was very much on her mind. He had to get Kaoru on her way. "Well if everything turns out alright, what is the next step?" He asked as he stood from his chair. Kaoru scrambled up with him.

"We'll need to set an appointment coinciding with Kaoru's ovulation." Megumi tapped at a large calendar on her desk. "You can come at the same time and donate the sperm. We'll teat it with a solution that sort of tubo-charges it; then we'll do the insemination. Fortunately you two have no history of infertility. So I don't think we'll have to do it more than once. You're not having any problems with impotency or anything, are you?"

Kenshin felt a blush crawling up his neck to its inevitable trek to his face. He cleared his throat and focused on the doctor, trying to ignore Kaoru's first smile in days. "No, I…um, everything's in working order. I think. I mean, I don't have any reason to believe I wont be able to…you know." Kenshin suddenly felt smothered in the tiny office with two women.

"Alright." Megumi was scribbling down notes, oblivious to Kenshin's discomfort. "Have you ever had a sperm count taken?"

Kenshin shook his head.

"Well, we should do one. It's always best to know exactly what we're dealing with upfront."

"Great, fine. Just say when." Kenshin sucked in a deep breath and glanced over at Kaoru. Her mood seemed to have improved a great deal in the last few moments.

"Is that painful?" Kaoru's sweet voice was innocent enough. "The sperm count, I mean."

"No, not at all." Dr. Takani replied.

"How, exactly does it work?"

Kenshin wanted to roll his eyes. Kaoru was in med school Damn her. She had to be doing this to bait him. Yet Dr. Takani took the question at face value. She launched into a full explanation of the sperm recovery process, and thanks to Kaoru's probing questions, left nothing out-including the little room stocked with girlie magazines where he'd be expected to provide a sample.

Hearing all the embarrassing details, Kenshin began to sweat. His tie had already vanished and he fought to undo the first couple of buttons on his shirt. He waited only long enough for the end of the explanation and then he grabbed Kaoru by the arm. "Call us once you get the lab results back." Kenshin then hauled Kaoru out of the office before she could ask anymore damn questions.

… . . …

"That was fun." Kenshin muttered as the elevator doors closed and sealed them off from the world.

Kaoru smiled her brightest smile yet. "I thought so too."

"And you want to make me squirm because…?"

"Because misery loves company. Why should I have to suffer all the indignities?"

"Hmm that's a hard question. I'm not a rocket scientist, but…" Kenshin tapped his chin with one finger. "Because you're getting paid for it?"

Kaoru raised an eyebrow; she hadn't heard Kenshin use that much sarcasm before. "Well, well, Himura Kenshin can't stand suffering indignities huh? Well, I figured it out. You think you're paying me incredibly well, but actually I'm only making one thousand, three hundred and seventy-five yen an hour. And than includes nothing for the pain of childbirth."

"But I bet that includes nights where you'll be doing nothing but sleeping. Am I right?"

"Obviously you've never been pregnant. I was only with child for a while but I could hardly get any sleep in that time." The elevator doors opened and the pair silently made their way out of the lobby and into the beautiful noon sun. Spring time was the best time in Japan. Kenshin walked Kaoru to the bus stop and stood with her a moment.

"You really should get a car of your own, that you should." Kenshin said in half thought, wincing and he realized it must not be easy for her to take the bus everywhere. What if there was an emergency?

"I do have a car of my own. It's cheaper and sometimes faster to take the bus." Kaoru said, glancing at the bus schedule written in the plastic bench cover.

"So, what's your point?...about before."

"My point is, you're not doing me some big favor." Kaoru replied.

"I thought we both understood the favor was mutual. Where else are you going to get the money, Kaoru?"

Kaoru ran and hand through her impossible long hair. She was starting to hate the way she liked the sound of her name when he said it. On Kenshin's lips, it was such a casual way, like they had been friends for a long while. If she didn't have to worry about Yahiko or if he wasn't so distracted with having a baby in such a strange way …Kaoru found him rather attractive. "You know I have no other way to get the money."

"Then we're in this together right?"

Kaoru smiled softly and nodded. "Yeah, looks like we're stuck together."

Kenshin smiled, transforming his face into someone gentle and boyish. Kaoru felt the air leave her lungs and she suddenly wish the bus would get there so she could bolt on it and duck down in one of the seats. Kenshin was handsome with his normal scowl, but when he smiled….heaven help her if he started to smile at her more often.

Kenshin leaned forward slightly. "It won't be as bad as you think." He promised in a soft voice.

"How would you know?"

"Because we're going to work together to make sure this isn't hard."

"Ah, so you're giving the team a bit of a pep talk, Coach?" She replied sarcastically.

"I'm giving the team whatever it needs, just so long as I can depend on you. You won't back out on this, right Kaoru?" His head tipped even closer, his eyes wide enough to show her just how vulnerable he really was. "If the lab results come back clean, you'll still see this through?"

Kaoru felt her body sway towards those lavender eyes that glowed with Kenshin's intensity. Emotion suddenly flooded her and how she wished she could collapse at his shoulder and feel his arms around her. She needed to feel a pair of masculine arms around her. Someone mature with enough strength to spare…someone to take the weight off her shoulders for just a moment. But now was not the time nor the place for such primal urges. And Kenshin had made it clear in their first interview that he was in love with the ghost of his wife.

Kaoru stood up straighter and forced herself to take a little step away from the red-headed demon. She would shoulder her load on her own. She would be as strong as everyone said she was. "I'm in it for the long haul, I'm not going anywhere." She said partly because she loved Yahiko so much she couldn't think of not trying her hardest, and partly because she wanted to see him smile at her again.

And he didn't let her down. A second smile returned. "That's better." He said in a gentle tone as he stepped away. The bus was rumbling down the street. Others had started to gather at the bus stop with her. Kenshin bowed his head slightly and walked away. The bus slowed to a rumbling stop and Kaoru let the group of people lead her onto the bus. Kaoru had been pulled deeper into Kenshin's web…and he knew it.

… . . …

"What are you still doing here in your office, it's late as Hell." Sanosuke said as he poked his head into his office before stepping in. Kenshin pushed away from his desk and rubbed his eyes against the glow of the computer. His tie was long gone and his stiff business man shirt was unbuttoned three buttons down. How he was craving for Hakama pants and a lose gi wrapped around his shoulders and a bowl of simple miso soup.

"Kaoru Kamiya needs the money right away for her brother's operation; I'm trying to come up with some sort of an agreement that will protect my interests if I give her the money now."

Sano shut the door behind him and he walked over to his desk, hands shoved deep in his pockets. "So she _is_ the one."

Kenshin nodded, his face turning back to the glow of the computer. "Just a second." Kenshin started typing again, revising for the umpteenth time. Sano walked around and looked over his shoulder.

"Kamiya Kaoru, hereafter known as 'Birth Mother' hereby agrees to appear at each and every doctor's appointment scheduled for the upkeep and maintenance of the pregnancy." Sanosuke paused as Kenshin's fingers flew, changing the text. "Kamiya Kaoru, hereafter known as 'Birth Mother' hereby agrees to allow Himura Kenshin to accompany her to each and every doctor's appointment scheduled for the upkeep and maintenance of the pregnancy."

Being allowed to go with Kaoru to the doctor visits should help him stay informed about the baby. He would hear the heartbeat, see the ultrasounds and make sure Kaoru was gaining enough weight. But appointments were only once a month. How could Kenshin make sure Kaoru was taking care of herself between those times? He couldn't exactly specify just how often she needed to eat and rest….could he? He thought for a moment about inserting a clause about basic health care and wondered is she would agree to half an hour of simple exercise every day. Just then Sano cleared his throat. Kenshin looked up.

"You're kidding, right man?"

"No, why would I be?"

"You're going to give this girl ten million yen and expect her to hand over a baby in nine months?"

Kenshin scowled at his friend. "Not in that order. I'm going to make sure she's pregnant first, then have her sign the contract, then give her the money."

"Are you going to pinkie-swear after she signs it too?" Sano shook his head. "Man, what if she breaks the contract? What is she miscarries and refuses to be inseminated again? Or she changes her mind and aborts the baby. You can't sue." He waved his hand at the computer screen. "This isn't a legal contract. You can't "sell" a baby last time I checked. Not that that kind of shit doesn't happen…no offence. But this won't insure your rights; it's not worth the paper it's printed on. She'll be ten million yen richer and you will have no baby and there is nothing you can do about it."

Kenshin stretched and rubbed his neck, trying to remove the tension that had been building there. Sanosuke was right, of course. Kenshin had known all along that the contract wasn't going to keep him or the baby safe. He was just doing what he knew how to make sure this was guaranteed because he _was_ going to give Kaoru the money. He could never risk the life of a child by demanded she perform her part first.

"Bottom line buddy, the money is the only way you can make sure she gives you that baby." Sano slapped Kenshin on the shoulder. "Maybe work it out so she gets a little money until the baby is born."

"And if she needs to pay full price for a bone marrow transplant for her little brother who's in the hospital right now dying of cancer?" Kenshin snapped, eyes turning hard.

Sano stared down at him. "So that _is_ why she came."

"Right."

Sano shook his head. "You're screwed."

"Maybe, but not yet."

"You will be if you rely on a written contract to get what you want."

"True, that it is." Kenshin massaged his temples as his headache returned. Another thought had flitted though his mind while he was trying to think up a solution. He had resisted it, shoving the thought into the corner of his mind to nag at him these past few hours. It wouldn't be a solid guarantee but it was the closest he would most likely ever get. "There is another way." He said slowly as the idea returned and took shape in his mind. "It comes with risks as well….but…"

Sano shifted. "You're making me nervous man, spit it out. You're already in this way over your head."

"Then I better start swimming." Kenshin flashed a rueful smile at Sanosuke as he snapped off his computer.

Sano rubbed at his face. "Is it the backstroke?"

"Not even close."

… . . …

Kaoru was exhausted. She had planned on finishing the block so she wouldn't get behind on classes, but finals were only three weeks away and she didn't dare take time away from Yahiko to study. Not that she could study being away from him. But she couldn't fail, not if she wanted to become a pediatrician someday. Kaoru tossed the keys on the side table in her living room and punched the play button on her answering machine. She listened to Misao tell her in no uncertain terms to eat the Chinese food she brought her a few hours ago. The next message was from her uncle Gensai. Where was she? Why didn't she keep in touch more often?

Her Uncle Gensai knew Kaoru couldn't afford the long distance bills. The last message was from Dr. Takani's office. The lab results came back and they were clean, everything was normal.

"Well, at least I won't die of AIDS anytime soon." Kaoru collapsed onto the sofa, too tired to even think about heating up something to eat. She hoped Dr. Takani's vitamins were as good as the lady doctor claimed because she was giving her body little else in the way of nutrition. What see needed more than food was some sleep. But her mind was still racing at a hundred miles an hour. They still had yet to find a donor for Yahiko. They had to have a near perfect match of his body would reject the new stem cells…and he would be worse off than before.

The phone rang, but Kaoru was too tired to get up and answer it. She let the answering machine pick it up. Kenshin's voice filled the silent house.

"Kaoru? I haven't heard from you in the past two days. Is everything okay? Call me when you get a chance."

He hung up just as Kaoru lobbed a sofa pillow at the small table holding the machine. She nearly knocked over a lamp in doing so. They did have to talk, but not tonight. Kaoru's brain could only take so much in a single day. Climbing to her feel, Kaoru weaved her away into her bathroom where she brushed her teeth and braided her hair. She dressed in her nightgown and all but fell into her western style bed.

At least when Saitou left, he left her with a few bits of furniture they bought during their marriage. The oak dining table, the sofa, and old rocking chair, her bed, Yahiko's maple colored bedroom set, a pull out couch, and the random small side tables that sat around the house. They were flea market type furniture, but what Kaoru lacked in furnishings her house made up in charm and style. And old house with a garden in the middle, and a good sized Dojo. She remembered when Saitou toyed with the idea of teaching swordsmanship in that dojo to make extra money.

She loved the house with its sliding doors and walls, stone walls lining their property. Some dated it back to the 1800's. Best of all, it was next to the university and next to the hospital. She wanted to restore the garden to its former glory, get koi fish for the small pond in the middle. She wanted to hang ink paintings and plant a cherry tree in the front and furnish the house the way it should be. Someday she would. When she became a doctor and Yahiko was healthy.

Her eyes and just started to close, visions of the house dancing in her head when suddenly the phone rang again. Kaoru was so use to getting emergency late night calls from the hospital that she reached out and snatched it off the bed side table without thinking.

"Hello?"

"There you are. I was getting worried, is Yahiko okay?"

Kenshin again. Kaoru cursed to herself as she rolled back onto her back. "He would be a lot better if he can find a bone marrow donor for him. But he seems to be hanging on well enough while we look."

"Can anyone do it?"

"It's not like giving blood. It's painful and very difficult to find the right match."

There was a moment of silence. "Can I be tested?"

"Sure, but you'll have to fill out a questionnaire. Have you had unprotected sex in the past ten years." She muttered, but inside her heart swelled with the thought that Kenshin wanted to get tested.

"You love to turn the tables on me, that you do."

"Sorry, I'm tired."

"I can hear it in your voice. How did school go today?"

"I missed another one of my classes but at least I made it to pharmacology this time. I'm not sure if I remember anything about the lecture but I took enough notes that I should be fine, even with a permanent hand cramp." Kaoru flexed her fingers as she remembered her frantic pace.

"What about the class you missed?"

"I borrowed notes from another student and copied them." Gezz, was he her mother?

"That's good."

"Yeah, finals are coming up, I need to be ready."

"I bet you're excited about that."

"I might be if I thought I was going to pass." She grumbled. She didn't want to think about school anymore. "Did you mean it when you said you would be tested for Yahiko?" She was sure he wouldn't be a match. All of his friends and what family he had left had all been tested; even some of Saitou's family got tested, but no luck. Still, it felt good that Kenshin was willing to try.

"Of course. I figure if I go though a little pain and suffering it might make you feel better compensated for childbirth."

Kaoru smiled as she slowly rolled out of bed and slid open a window to let the cool spring night air drift into the room. "I would be untrue if I didn't point out that they say nothing is worse than childbirth but I am grateful so I'm keeping my mouth shut." She said as she climbed back into bed. The scent of lavender and lilac from the garden filtered in and Kaoru sunk deeper into her bed. She heard Kenshin chuckle.

"When can we get together?" his voice suddenly throaty like the time she called him in the middle of the night. "There are some things we need to talk about."

"I know." Kaoru yawned, too tired to let Kenshin's voice affect her.

"Tomorrow?"

Kaoru let her eye close; they were too heavy to fight anymore. She tried to answer but her mouth wouldn't move.

"Kaoru?" Kenshin asked, jolting the girl awake for half a moment.

"Tomorrow…fine."

"Get some sleep until then." Strangely enough his voice was like kiss on the forehead and Kaoru was hardly conscious long enough to hang up.

… . . …

Kaoru woke to the sound sizzling fish and the delicious smell of miso soup. _Mmm Saitou's making breakfast for Yahiko, I can get a little more sleep. _

Saitou!? What was she thinking? Kaoru sat straight up in her bed as reality came crashing down around her as it often did… like a thousand bricks. There was no Saitou, Yahiko was in the hospital, but…Kaoru sniffed the air. There was breakfast. She had classes today. Did she over sleep? Would she have enough time to get ready and stop by to see Yahiko before school like she always did. Kaoru dove for the bedside clock. It read only a few minutes past six. Kaoru groaned, her body going limp. The alarm wasn't set to go off for another half an hour. Who the hell was banging around in her kitchen depriving her of a half hour of sleep?

Misao Obviously. She knew Kaoru didn't eat and this was her revenge. Plus it was difficult for that girl to be quiet in anything she did. Kaoru forced herself out of bed and into her bathroom where she brushed her teeth and splashed some water on her face. The cold water did little to wake her from her groggy state. She wandered down the hall.

"Gezz, Misao. You could have warned me you were going to tear up my kitchen today. I would have told you I didn't eat when I got home. I grabbed something from the hospital cafeteria!" So what if it was only an apple. There was no reply, only more clanking in the kitchen. "Misao?"

The noise fell silent and Kenshin stepped out of the kitchen and into the hallway, freezing Kaoru in mid-step. He wore cream hakama pants and a lose rose-colored gi that gapped open halfway down his chest. His hair was out of its braid, now held back with a simple tie at the base of his neck. He flashed her a smile that would have melted hearts a mile away.

"Good morning Kaoru, sit down, Breakfast is almost ready."

* * *

A/n eeep what plan does Kenshin have up his sleeve now? One can only wonder. Don't worry, all will be revealed in the next chapter. So Kaoru wakes to find Kenshin somehow in her house making her breakfast…things are about to get interesting. Thanks for reading everyone! Reviews are loved!


	5. The Break In

A/n hi everyone! Thanks for the wonderful reviews. I had some really great guesses as to what Kenshin's plan is. A few of you hit it right on the money. Out of the pan and into the fire as they say. I'm pretty sure I will update one more time before I go on vacation, but if not, don't worry. I won't be gone long and I'll be right back to writing as soon as I get back.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

* * *

"How did you get in here?" Kaoru demanded. Shock had stripped all sleep from her mind.

Kenshin looked a little shamefaced but his smile dimmed only a little. "You said we should talk today."

"I don't remember inviting you over for breakfast and a certainly didn't ask you to break into my house." Though Kaoru had to admit, dressed the way he was… it seemed like he belonged in her old dojo house. Kaoru ran a hand though her bed wild hair, ignoring the fact that she was standing there barefoot wearing an old, rather prudish hand-me-down nightgown that use to belong to her aunt in front of one of the handsomest men she had ever known. She stomped after him as he vanished back into the kitchen.

"Just because I agreed to have your baby does not mean you get to control my life for nine months. You are wrong Mr. Himura. What you get is nine months to think about it before the baby shows up. You bought a baby, not months of control over me and my time."

Kenshin turned, his arms tucked into his gi. "Is that your last word on the matter?"

Kaoru struggled not to stomp around like a child. "Yes it is."

"There went the exercise clause." He muttered.

"What was that?" Kaoru nearly shrieked.

But Kenshin only chuckled as he turned back to the stove and the food that was sizzling there. Kaoru followed him, curious to see what he was cooking. It was fish and miso soup. As well as rice that was already finished and cooling down and pickled vegetables. At the moment he was working on an omelet. Kaoru hadn't gone shopping in over two weeks; he must have brought his own groceries.

"Don't get so worked up Kaoru I knew you got an early start in the morning and I was afraid I would miss you if I didn't get here early enough. I knocked at the door and rang the doorbell but you didn't seem to wake up. So I checked under the mat and found a key there." He glanced at her from the corner of his eyes. "You really should keep it somewhere else, that you should."

"The burglar justifies breaking and entering." Kaoru muttered.

"Surly the average burglar doesn't cook you breakfast. It's a sign that I come in peace." Kenshin glanced around. "I didn't snoop much, but you have a beautiful traditional home." Even if it was sparsely furnished.

Kaoru ignored him as she rubbed her forehead. "I would much rather sleep than eat. You robbed me of half an hour of unconsciousness." Though, what he was making sure did smell good. When was the last time she had a breakfast that didn't come out of a box? When Misao cooked it for her.

Kenshin's smile grew slightly crooked. "Don't worry. I came up with a schedule for you that allows time for daily naps."

Kaoru clenched her teeth together. "Did I hear that right? Gezz what planet are you from that you can-"

Kenshin held up his hands, interrupting her. "I'm not trying to control your life, just want to be helpful is all. I notice you don't give your body a chance to recover from your hectic schedule." He said as he flipped the omelet.

"Whatever, you're just protecting your investment." Not because he really cared for her.

"Maybe. I've done a lot of research and most all the doctor's agree that it's important for a pregnant woman to get plenty of sleep, and exercise as well as healthy food." he paused, glancing back at her as he took the omelet from the pan, waiting for her reaction.

"That's old news, what young woman doesn't already know that? But you're forgetting something. I'm in med school and finals are coming up my brother is in the hospital fighting for his life. The last thing I have the time for is a nap." She watched as Kenshin started a second omelet. As it cooked he took a plate and set the first rolled omelet on it, added the fish, vegetables and rice balls that he created with what looked like a few flicks of the wrist. Kaoru was amazed. Who would have thought that someone like Kenshin Himura could cook so well? Kaoru's meals were the stuff of horror stories. The plate was packed with food but he made room for the second omelet that was just about done. Kaoru glanced at the food still on the stove.

"Having friends over? There's enough food here for four people." Kaoru asked as she made her way to the table.

"A pregnant woman is supposed to have at least four servings of-"

Kaoru held up her hand, interrupting him. "Stop it, stop. I'm not pregnant yet."

"You need to build up your strength. You've been running on empty for too long and it shows." Kenshin's eyes flittered down over her nightgown all the way to her bare toes. "Shouldn't you get dressed?"

Kaoru scoffed and tossed her head. "Says the man who broke into my house at the most ungodly hour. Expect me to be showered and primped and ready to go at the crack of dawn? Or does seeing a woman in her nightgown make you uncomfortable?"

"Only when it's incredibility alluring like the one you have on now." Kenshin replied, but he couldn't hold a straight face and quickly turned back to the stove to smother his chuckles. Kaoru had to laugh with him.

"Okay, so I'm not exactly what they would put in a lingerie window front."

"Hey I was making fun of the nightgown, that I was. Not what was underneath." Kenshin snapped his mouth shut.

Kaoru wondered if he meant her figure. Not that it mattered much anyway. She had the figure of a plank of wood. Whatever curves she had left would soon be distorted by pregnancy. She would have Kenshin's baby and hand it over and she would be left with the physical and emotional wreckage.

"I want to ask you something." Kenshin cleared his throat as he started loading up a second plate.

"The lab results came back normal, I'm fine."

Kenshin shot her a look. "That's great, but what I have to ask is a bit more personal." Kaoru snorted as she poured herself a glass of fresh orange juice that was waiting for her at the table and collapsed in the chair.

"What could a novel-sized questionnaire like yours could have missed?"

"I'd like a better understanding of your love life." He said, clearing his throat again as he set the giant plate of food in front of her.

Kaoru cocked an eyebrow. "Love life? Doesn't my nightgown say it all? Or rather scream it?"

Kenshin smiled, and said in a low voice. "A man has a great imagination and any man can easily picture what's under that schoolmarm nightgown you have on. All you need is a few more pounds to have such a beautiful figure, that you do."

Kaoru felt her cheeks grow hot and, fortunately, Kenshin seemed to be just as embarrassed by what he said as she was. His own face turned a shade of red as he turned back to finish working on his own plate. He kept his gaze on his food as he sat down across from her and started eating. Kaoru took a taste of her omelet and found it light and fluffy and delicious. "Alright, ask me anything you want to know. I mean, you know about that guy from the club and it can't get any worse than that."

Kenshin took a drink of orange juice before looking Kaoru in the face again. "Is there anyone in your life right now? A boyfriend or someone who will object to what we plan on doing?"

That was easy. "No."

Kenshin sat back, eyebrows raised. "No crushes? You're not carrying a torch for someone?"

"You mean Saitou? Do you think I still have feelings for him?" Not like he care much about her.

"From what I gathered he was a pretty popular man. Well liked in college and all. There had to be some reason you fell in love with him."

"I fell in love with his boyish charm, good looks and optimism. It turned out that was all he really was, and I wanted more depth and character. I grew disenchanted before he even left me. Besides, I was fresh out of high school, seventeen and stupid." She took a bite of fish. "I'm not holding a torch for anyone." She said around her food.

"There's no one else? I won't be stepping on anyone's toes or messing up a relationship that important to you?"

"I'm not in any relationships and I don't plan on being in one in the foreseeable future." Kaoru snapped. If she was, she wouldn't have answered his secret ad for a baby in the first place.

"Because of what your ex did?" he asked in a soft voice.

"Isn't that reason enough?" To Kaoru's surprise as she sat back in her chair, she had finished most of the food on her plate. Her shrunken stomach was pleasantly stuffed and she was already feeling better than she had in weeks.

"You don't seem the type to judge all by what Saitou did to you, Kaoru."

"I'm not judging, I just have a lot on my plate right now. I mean, where would I meet someone? In the oncology department? Yahiko's doctors are all married and they are all twenty to thirty years older than me and they are the only men I ever really talk to".

"What about on campus? Wouldn't life be easier if you had someone to come home to?" He could see from the pain in her eyes that his question was stupidly obvious.

"Not if I was pregnant with your child. That could make things a bit awkward don't you think?" She finished the last of her juice. "Especially if you plan on breaking into my home on a regular basis. What would I tell my boyfriend? 'Oh, don't mind him, he's just here to make sure I'm eating my daily allowances." Kaoru glanced at the clock on the stove. "I've got to get into the shower." She said, jumping up from the table. "I know we haven't talked about everything, but I have a lab today and I want to stop by the hospital before school. Just pile the dishes in the sink and I'll do them later as my thank you for this party." She turned to dash down the hall.

"Wait!" Kenshin jumped from the table and grabbed her by the wrist.

Kaoru turned around, he had amazing speed.

"I'm actually going somewhere with all this." He suddenly looked very uncomfortable and his eyes nervously darted to look out the window for a moment before returning to her face. "I want to give you the money right up front for Yahiko."

"That's the only way I will agree to carry your baby." She said, still in mid-step to head down the hallway.

"I know, but it's foolish of me to take that risk. What if-" He sighed, letting go of her wrist to run his hand through his hair. "What if something goes wrong?"

"You don't think I'll go through with this if Yahiko dies." She couldn't hold back her pain at the thought of her baby brother dying. Kenshin was just one more person without faith in him, while she was the only one hoping for a miracle.

"There are other things that could go wrong." He said in a gentle tone, his face was gentle as well. The soft look in his eyes scared Kaoru. She had to have that money and she had to have it soon.

"What if I give my word?" She asked desperately.

"In a perfect world that would be enough, but-"

"I know, we're practically strangers, it would be unwise for you to trust me. So-" She took a deep shaky breath "- What do we do?"

"Another business arrangement that will insure my protection."

Kaoru felt very uneasy but she had to ask. "What is it this time?"

"I want you to marry me."

… . . …

Kenshin watched several emotions flicker past her eyes. Surprise, confusion, sadness and anger. Before she could settle on one emotion and reject him, he added, "There would be a lot of benefits for both of us in this arrangement, that there is. Before you say anything, just hear me out."

"No."

"No, you won't hear me out? Or no you won't marry me."

"Just no. period. Our arrangements have gone fare enough. You don't understand that what you want, that what we're doing is making a mockery of everything I believe in. You have reduced love, marriage and family to…to this. To nothing but emotionless agreements and practical consideration."

Kenshin flinched. Love, marriage and family where sacred to him too, maybe even more so. That was why he was trying to preserve a vestige of what he had with Tomoe. But he couldn't explain that to Kaoru or to anyone else for that matter. It exposed a part of him that was wounded, raw with need, hurt, anger and betrayal that had happened when Tomoe died.

"Think of the baby." He said, backing out of those dark corners of his emotions. "The baby will have my name and since I will be its father, what can be more natural than that?"

Kaoru stomped back into the kitchen, snatched her plate from the table and went to the sink just to have something to do. She kept her back to him. "How to we explain our relationship to Yahiko?"

"I've already met Yahiko. We can simply tell him that we've fallen in love and are going to get married. Listen, Kaoru I went over all angles of possibility with this, it's better for all who's involved. Besides, if you don't marry me, how are you going to explain your pregnancy to Yahiko? That it was the water?"

Kenshin watched as her shoulders suddenly slumped, as if very weary again. But soon enough she stood straight and turned to face him. "And when you disappear from our lives and take his niece or nephew away what am I suppose to say to him. That it's nothing, that you're just another man who doesn't want us?"

A normal man would be crazy to not want Kaoru, Kenshin thought. She was bright, ambitious and full of passion. And he had never seen a more beautiful young woman. For the first time since the death of his wife, Kenshin felt the stirring of desire when he'd seen her first thing this morning, braless, with no makeup, her hair messed up and that god-awful nightgown. Kenshin had just put it off as his body telling him just how long it had been from the last time he had a woman in his arms. But he had felt…something.

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it." He answered, not wanting to talk about divorce right then, with Kaoru gazing at him with those incredible blue eyes. "A lot has to go right for this to happen"

Kaoru glanced at the clock, wishing she could pull back the hands of time. She pinched the bridge of her nose. "So we will get married but won't live together. Is that what you're suggestion, a marriage in name only?"

Kenshin cleared his throat, knowing she wasn't going to like this next part. "Actually, I was thinking we could live together here as roommates."

"But why? What purpose could there possibly be for you- oh wait…I get it. This is just another way for you to control my life and protect your investment." She narrowed her eyes at him.

Kenshin took a step closer. "I know it sounds terrible, Kaoru. I wouldn't do it if-" _if I wasn't so damn desperate_ "-if I thought there was a better way. But I'm not trying to control you, that I'm not. I just thought you could use someone to look after the house and the gardens a bit and make you dinner and drive you to the doctor. It will be a few less things to worry about while you're pregnant. You wouldn't have to move or change anything; you get to stay next to the school and Yahiko. Does it sound so bad?"

"I don't know." She said. "What I'm going through right now is torture. I can't imagine it being any worse."

"Then trust me." He smiled. "And I'll write you a check for the full amount the moment we say 'I do'"

She sighed and shook her head. Then she rubbed her temples. "You'll sleep in the guest room." She said at last. "And pick up after yourself, and steer clear of my friends and family. And stay away from Yahiko. If he doesn't know you then he can't be hurt when you leave."

"Okay."

"And you're not going to watch Dr. Takani put me in stirrups. Neither are you going into the delivery room. I'll have the baby on my own and then turn it over to you."

"But I want to see my baby being born."

"Sorry, that's the deal." She snapped, suddenly vicious. "You can take it or leave it. It's up to you."

Because of Yahiko, Kenshin knew, if he pushed, he could have it all. Kaoru was bluffing. The business man in him, the negotiator, told him so. But the courage shinning in her eyes and the sacrifice she was willing to make for her brother softened his heart. In that moment, his respect for her grew.

"That's good enough." He said, and once the words were out, he couldn't take them back. An agreement was an agreement, the business man in him told him that as well. He could only hope that Kaoru would relent.

… . . …

"You're what?!"

Kaoru held the phone away from her ear to avoid her Uncle's bloodcurdling screeching. She was on campus, in-between classes with students milling about; six of whom were in line to use the pay phone after her. "I'm getting married." She repeated.

There was a shocked silence on the other end of the line as Dr. Gensai absorbed this information about his only niece. "This is so sudden, you never talked about dating someone, who is he?"

Kaoru watched the trees that dotted the campus dance in the breeze. "His name is Himura Kenshin, He's an executive here in Tokyo."

"He's a business-man?"

"Uncle Gensai, why is that the first question you have to ask? Does it really matter that much?"

"Well after watching you struggle with that freeloader, lowlife Saitou, I just want you to be more careful, I want to see you taken care of, not you taking care of someone else."

Kaoru smiled. Her sweet, old uncle Gensai was still looking out for her, even if he'd gotten grumpy and cantankerous in his old age. "I see your point. Yes is successful, he has some nice office space uptown."

"He has what?" He asked, surprised.

Kaoru wished she could take back the words. How strange it must sound to talk about Kenshin's office when she should talk about something more personal and important, like his home.

"Where does he live?"

Uptown, downtown, in high-rise apartments or in the suburbs, he could live anywhere for all Kaoru knew. "Um, in a nice house."

"Will you and Yahiko move there with him?"

"No, he's moving in with us."

"But why? Your house is so old and a bit small. You are going to have children, right?"

He's your only family. Kaoru chanted to herself. "Yes Uncle. In fact he wants to have a baby." At least that part was the truth.

"Right away?"

Kaoru was about to laugh, married on Saturday…inseminated a few days later…so… "Yeah, right away."

"So then why keep that old house?"

"It has charm."

"And termites." He grumbled.

"I like it, besides, it's close to the school and the hospital. You can't believe how hard it is to find affordable places this close to the city, even renting is hell." She sighed and looked up at the line of students beside her. "Listen, Uncle Gensai, I have to go now. We'll talk more later."

"But you haven't given me a date or time of the wedding."

"It's just going to be something short and simple." There was no need to have the old man travel to see a mock wedding. "This Saturday down in your area so don't worry about it." There was silence on the phone line again. "Uncle Gensai?"

"Kaoru are you pregnant?" he finally asked.

"What?! No!"

"When was your last menstrual cycle?"

"You are not a doctor anymore Uncle Gensai. I'm not pregnant." Not yet anyway.

… . . …

"Don't look at me like that, you're the one who got me into this mess." Kaoru said to Misao as they sat on her sofa. Kaoru was finishing her soda and Misao was wolfing down her take-out Bento Box.

"Hey! I told you to have Kenshin's baby so you can get the money to help Yahiko, I didn't tell you to marry him. What are you going to do after the baby is born?"

"Uncontested divorce, and I'll have to sign over full custody of the baby of course."

Misao's breath hissed through her teeth. "Whatever happened to keeping out of each other's personal lives?"

"I guess we decided that if we're going to have a baby together, that there is just no practical way to go about it. Having Kenshin marry me makes him feel more secure about giving me the money for Yahiko up front. Besides, he has a point about the baby not being born a bastard. I'll have a name to put on the birth certificate and I won't have to write "Single" on ever form that a doctor or nurse hands me."

"So he'll live here?" Misao used her disposable wooden chopsticks to indicate the house.

"Yeah. It's a point for him. He doesn't expect me to uproot myself with Yahiko in the hospital."

"Well I think he sounds like a nice guy." Misao's tone was hopeful

"Yeah well let's see what you think of him in nine months." The smell of grilled vegetables triggered pangs of hunger and Kaoru suddenly regretted not grabbing something to eat like Misao did on the way home from the hospital. Sighing, she made her way to the kitchen. "Do you want some soy-sauce or anything with your fish and veggies?"

"Nayh, I'm almost done."

Kaoru opened her refrigerator to survey her meager supplies and stiffened in surprise to find it teeming with food. Fresh fruit and vegetables, a gallon of milk and a gallon of fresh orange juice sat side by side. A ready made salad sat next to a loaf of whole wheat bread, lunch meat along with a huge jar of pickles. A note was taped to the gallon of milk in bold masculine handwriting outlining the daily requirements of an expectant mother.

"Damn him!"

"Who?" Misao asked, following Kaoru into the kitchen as she crushed the cardboard bento box for the trash.

"Himura Kenshin."

"What's he done now?"

Kaoru pushed the fridge door open wide so she could see.

"What a jerk!" Misao exclaimed. "He must have stocked your empty fridge with at least ten thousand yen worth of food. I can't think of anything worse…pish, the nerve."

Kaoru rolled her eyes and slammed the door closed. "It's the fact that he did it without asking. Doesn't that seem like intruding on my personal life, not to mention controlling?"

"I'd call him on it, if I were you." Misao teased with a smile, tossing her crushed bento box away.

"This isn't funny Misao, he shouldn't feel free to make himself at home here."

"Kaoru, he's going to be living here in a few days."

"That's just it…he's not living here yet. I still have five days and I want every one of them." Kaoru was starting to get a headache. She needed to relax. With an exasperated sigh, Kaoru reached for the cupboard beside the sink for some tea, only to find her tea gone and a note tapped to her small tea pot.

"Caffeine causes birth defects." The bold letters were underlined, twice.

"That Baka!!"

Misao started laughing so hard she fell to her knees.

"I can't believe you find this funny!" Kaoru shouted over Misao's guffaws. "You've been on his side from the beginning."

"I'd love to see what he did to your liquor cabinet!"

"I don't have a liquor cabinet!"

"Yeah but I'm sure he doesn't know that. Tell him you have some booze stashed away and sit back as he drives himself crazy looking for it. Fitting revenge, yes?" Misao fell back into her fit of giggles as the phone started ringing.

Kaoru wasn't about to answer it. At this time of night there was only one person who would call her. Kenshin…..or the hospital? Her heart skipped a beat as she dove for the receiver. "Hello?"

"Kaoru?"

Kenshin. Kaoru made a face into the phone but was very thankful that it wasn't the hospital. "You've been in my house again."

"You had nothing but baking soda and a bottle of soy-sauce in your fridge. How does a person live off baking soda and soy-sauce?"

"Okay, that's it." Kaoru set the phone down on the table top and marched to the front door. She pulled back the welcome mat, picked up the spare key and slipped it in the pocket of her jeans.

"Kaoru? Hello? Kaoru?" Kenshin was saying when she picked the phone back up.

"I'm back."

"Where did you go?"

"To remove your invitation to my house."

Kenshin chuckled. "I know you like me so my feelings are not hurt, that they are not."

"You can at least sound a little devastated."

His laugh rang in her ear and Kaoru could easily picture him lounging back in a chair watching the TV she could hear in the background. "I guess I called at a bad time. I just wanted to know if you would like to come with me when I go buy your ring tomorrow. I mean, you're the one who has to wear it for nine months."

"No." He was buying her a ring? There were a ton of details that Kaoru hadn't even thought about. Was there something she should do to prepare for Saturday? Just how far were they going to take this sham of a marriage? "I have to study for finals."

"So any kind of ring is fine?"

"Just get me a cheap band. I don't care what it looks like." All it was going to stand for was a lie anyways.

"Alright. I'll call you tomorrow."

"No don't. We can talk about whatever we have to talk about on the way into the city to get married. My uncle is insisting on coming for the ceremony by the way, I'm still trying to talk him out of it."

"Sounds like things may get interesting. Anyone else?" Suddenly Kenshin sounded a bit nervous.

"No, He and Yahiko are the only family I really have. A few distant cousins from my father's side, but they hardly know we exist."

"Right, well…I'll let you get some sleep."

"I'm not going to bed yet, Kenshin." Kaoru snapped, bristling. "I'm going to stay up all night if I want to."

Kenshin only chuckled. "It's okay, I wasn't ordering you to bed, that I was not."

"Just like how you're not ordering me to eat plenty of fruits and vegetables and to stay away from caffeine? Misao and I were just saying that it's a good thing you didn't find the Sake that I have stashed away."

This time Kaoru laughed, "If you had a key, you could let yourself in and find out for yourself. Good night."

"Way to go Kaoru!" Misao said as she hung up the phone. "I bet he's shaking his head right now thinking he had better give you your space.

Kaoru scoffed. "I bet he's planning another break-in."

* * *

A/n So Kenshin and Kaoru are going to get married. I'm sure most of you saw it coming. Alas, we knew it had to happen sooner or later. I don't know why but I love Misao in this story. I find it hard to write her in others (Endure my Love is hard as hell to write for those of you who are following that series.) But she's a hoot in this story and I have fun with the comic relief she brings. Thanks for reading, No cliff hangers this time, hope everyone is happy about that! Reviews are loved!


	6. The Sacrifice

A/n hi everyone! Wow so half of the reviewers seemed completely surprised at Kenshin's proposal. That makes me smile, I love to completely surprise my readers. Speaking of surprises, my Boyfriend proposed to me over our vacation. (which was great by the way) So now I have a pretty ring on my finger and I'm uber excited. My best friend was also proposed to this week, which is just as awesome. I must say it had changed my perception on my stories a little. But no worries! Lol

KiT72- no I haven't read Morning After. I think I'll have to take a look at it. And thanks for the great review :) I do need to get an editor. I'm taking volunteers. –looks out at everyone- hint hint lol

Disclaimer. I don't own Kenshin

* * *

An hour after Misao left Kaoru called Kenshin back.

He groaned as he answered the phone. "Kaoru, you didn't just call to wake me up did you?"

Kaoru gathered her pillows and leaned against them as she pulled her blanket at her chin. "No, but there's an idea."

"Not a very good one."

"Because pregnant women need their rest?"

"Because hardworking executives do" She heard him sigh and some rustling as he moved in his bed. "What is it?"

Kaoru bit down on her lip and twirled the curly phone cord around her hand. "Where do you live?"

"Why? Are you planning some sort of revenge on me?"

"Maybe."

"Then I want my refrigerator stocked with Sake and fried calamari rings."

"You didn't put any of that in my fridge."

"I'm not the one as thin as a willow reed and ready to blow away in the next wind."

Kaoru winced. "Do I really look that bad?"

There was a pause and Kenshin's voice was a bit gruffer than before. "No, You are a beautiful young woman, that you are. Surly you must know that."

His words soothed the small sting his last words had created. "You didn't answer my question."

"Which was what?"

"Where do you live? I had to tell my uncle how nice of an office you have because I haven't seen your house. I don't even know what part of town you live in."

"I live on Shujiko Hill."

Shujiku Hill was filled with a lot of nice older homes. Not as nice as those in other places, but Shujiku Hill was a tad expensive for such older homes...from what Kaoru had heard anyways. A wide road slowly wound it way up the hill to the many homes built there. Kaoru had only driven past the area; she had never gone up that hill. She couldn't help feel a little excitement. Perhaps she would get a chance now that she knew Kenshin lived there.

"So you live in a house, not an apartment or a condo." Kaoru hadn't pictured Kenshin to be the type.

"Right. But, can we talk about my house tomorrow, when I'm awake?"

"You're going to call me anyways?" Even after she told him not to.

"No, we'll talk when I pick you up to come with me to pick a ring for you."

"I thought I told you no to that."

"No isn't one of my favorite words, that it is not. Just bring your school books with you and I can quiz you in the car."

Kaoru hesitated, "I don't know...I don't want to leave Yahiko. I usually study there at the hospital."

"I'll take you to my house afterwards, so you can describe it to your uncle in detail."

Dr. Gensai could call any day. Kaoru felt that she had better be prepared to the old man's battering questions. Plus she really wanted to see his house on that Hill. "Okay." She relented. "Pick me up from the hospital at four; since we're getting married maybe it would be a good idea if Yahiko saw you hanging around me a time or two."

"Have you told him yet?"

"No."

"Would you like some help?"

Her worry about how Yahiko would accept the sudden appearance of a man in their lives had stopped Kaoru from saying anything so far. But now time was growing short and there wasn't much left until the wedding. Perhaps the lie of their marriage would be more convincing if Kenshin was there to help break the news. After he had brought Yahiko that stuffed creature, he might even be glad that they were getting married. "Maybe we should tell him together."

"Sounds like tomorrow is going to be a quite a day, that it does."

"It's not everyday you get to reconstruct your fiancé's past in the span of a few hours."

"I'm a simple man." Kenshin promised. "Good night Kaoru and stop worrying okay? Everything will be alright."

Kaoru had no idea how he could say that. With Yahiko in the hospital losing his fight with cancer. But Kenshin seemed so confident; it was hard not to believe him. "Do you really think so? Do you think Yahiko will make it?"

There was a long pause. "I hope so, that I do." He said.

... . . ...

"Hello."

Kaoru looked up to see Kenshin standing in the doorway of Yahiko's hospital room. He was in a shirt and tie and expensive looking pants. He also had a shopping bag in one hand.

Kaoru raised an eyebrow. You're just coming in from work?" She asked, closing her pharmacology textbook.

"No, I stopped by the mall first." His gaze swept over her for a moment before focusing on Yahiko, whose small face was bright with surprise.

"Look Kaoru-chan, its Kenshin!"

"Yes it is Yahiko-kun." She agreed. "He told me be was going to come by today."

Kenshin approached the bed, wary of the many tubes connected to the boy. "I wanted to see how you were getting along with Kuma.

"Good." Yahiko announced, putting one frail arm around the stuffed creature that still shared his bed. "He sleeps with me at night, sometimes in the day too." He confessed.

"I'm sure he likes that. I brought you something else.." Kenshin pulled a gift-wrapped box from the bag and set it next to him.

"Another present!" Yahiko all but bounced in place. "What is it?"

"Open it and see."

Smiling from ear to ear, Yahiko tore into the blue and black stripped paper, his pain and discomfort temporarily forgotten. The boy gave a whoop of delight. "Look Kaoru-chan" The boy held up a male action figure. "It's Tonaki from the same anime as Kuma!" He wrapped one arm around the fluffy creature as he held the toy in the other arm. "Thanks Kenshin."

Kaoru couldn't help but smile at the sight of Yahiko's excitement and Kenshin's obvious pleasure at being the cause of it. The boy jabbed at the hidden button on the back of the action figure and the toy started to ramble off in various sayings from the anime, most of which Yahiko recited with the doll from memory. As the boy was playing, Kenshin turned to Kaoru.

"Ready for this?" He murmured softly.

Kaoru rubbed her hands on her jeans as she stood up. She wasn't ready for any of this. But Yahiko's cancer wasn't going to wait for a better idea. Taking a deep breath, Kaoru nodded.

"Yahiko?" She said, stepping closer to the bed and drawing her brother's attention away from his toys. "Do you think your new toy and Kuma can keep you company for a bit while Kenshin and I go out?"

Yahiko's brows knitted together. "Where are you going? Can I come too?"

"You know you can't, Yahiko-kun" Kaoru said, gently shaking her head. "The doctors won't let you leave the hospital just yet, not until you're better. But we won't be gone long and Misao said she'd come be with you. She should be here any minute."

"But where are you going?" The boy asked again.

"We're going to a jewelry store to pick out a nice ring for me."

"A ring?" The boy's brows lifted and he glanced from Kaoru to Kenshin and back again.

Kenshin reached out and took Kaoru's left hand. "This is a special ring, Yahiko. It's called a wedding ring, and your sister is going to wear it on this finger here." He wiggled Kaoru's third finger. "People do that when…when they get married, that they do. Do you know what that means?"

Yahiko grew thoughtful for a moment and his teddy-bear brown eyes grew large and he gazed up at Kenshin. "Does that mean you're going to be my new big brother?"

Kaoru's gaze flew to Kenshin's face. He wasn't supposed to get too close to Yahiko, this was only temporary. She didn't think…and she was sure Kenshin didn't think that Yahiko would be so quick and eager to accept Kenshin.

The muscle in his jaw clenched and he swallowed hard. "Yeah, I guess that's what that means." He grunted.

Dropping the toy that had brought him so much joy moments ago, Yahiko reached out with both arms to Kenshin. "Onii-chan" the boy smiled. The man bent and awkwardly accepted his embrace.

… . . …

Kenshin was angry. He tried to hold it deep inside him, the way he had done ever since Tomoe died. But after what happened with him and Yahiko, it was almost impossible to bury it. Why was he so upset? He couldn't say, but judging from the way Kaoru wouldn't look at him and the ridged set of her shoulders, that she was angry too.

"I'm not sure this is going to work." He said, pulling his car over to the side of the road before even reaching the jewelry store. "I must have been deluding myself."

Kaoru fidgeted with her purse in her lap. "What are you talking about? Yahiko needs this operation. I'll make it work." She said determinedly. "I don't have a choice."

Kenshin sighed and tapped the steering wheel with his forefingers. Since the start of it, Kenshin had wrestled with a certain amount of guilt about using Kaoru's desperation to make her do something she otherwise wouldn't. He tried to justify it by telling himself that what he wanted wouldn't hurt Kaoru or anyone else. He knew he would be a good father to their child.

But Yahiko's response to him today made him face the fact that it wouldn't be as simple as he'd hoped. A child was dying, damn it! How could he take advantage of that? He'd lost his own child; he knew what it was like.

"You might not have a choice, but I do."

She looked at him from beneath her long, dark lashes and Kenshin marked the fear lurking there…the same fear he'd feel if Yahiko was his brother or child.

"So you're going to back out? Find someone else whose situation doesn't prick at you conscience?" she asked bitterly.

"Maybe someday." Kenshin shrugged. "Who knows? But that won't be for a long while because I'm going to give you the money."

You're what?" her mouth dropped open and her wide eyes blinked at him.

Kenshin rubbed his face and looked away. "I'm going to let you out of the deal, but I'm going to give you the money…for Yahiko."

She turned to stare out the windshield and Kenshin did the same. The cars whizzed past them on their way to the business area. The Jewelry store Kenshin had planed to take her wasn't far.

"I don't know what to say?" She said to him.

"You don't have to say anything. Do you want me to take you back to the hospital?" Kenshin guessed Kaoru was thinking about facing Yahiko again and having to explain why there was no ring on her finger, because she shook her head.

"Just take me home." She said, and he started the car and merged back into traffic.

… . . …

The house was very quiet when Kenshin got home. Normally he filled every room with sound; from the stereo or television from the moment he walked into the house. But today he sat on the sofa and listened to nothing.

He had packed up all of Tomoe's things; jewelry, perfume, clothes and stowed them away in the basement. But her touch was everywhere in the house. She had picked out the wallpaper and they'd spent a weekend or two wallpapering the house. She picked out the furniture to give the old fashioned house a more homey feel. She insisted he rip out the carpet and put in hardwood floor instead. Even though he hardly knew what he was doing he bought the supplies and they stayed up late for a week trying to figure it out. They laughed at each other, cursed when they made a mistake and had to rip out half the floor. The TV blared loudly over the pounding of their hammers. It was moments like that he realized he had taken for granted; never knowing how much he would miss them.

Almost against his will Kenshin climbed out of the sofa and wandered down the hall to the nursery he and Tomoe put together. It was painted turquoise blue, pastel green and yellow. Tomoe painted the furniture and made the warm, thick drapes over the window. He had painted the walls and put up the molding.

Eyeing the rocking chair sitting almost in the middle of the room, Kenshin wondered if he would ever have a baby of his own. Kenshin made a good living, but raising ten million yen wasn't a small task, especially with the overhead he was carrying at the office.

At least the money would go to help save Yahiko's life. He prayed it would. The phone rang, pulling him out of the past and dragging him back to the living room. "Hello?"

"Hi Kenshin! It's Tae." His older sister Sekihara Tae.

"Hey Tae. What's up?"

"I'm making a great beef and veggie pot tonight. You want to come over? Toki and Gentatsu are coming over."

Kenshin almost refused. When Tomoe was alive, they spent many nights with his sister and her husband and her husband's brother and his wife. Eating dinner, playing games and watching movies. They only lived about twenty minutes away and it seemed so easy to fit their lives together. But without Tomoe he felt strange with the other couples. He didn't fit in anymore and didn't seem to enjoy the activities as much. It made the gap in life a little wider and harder to fill. But Kenshin refused to wallow in self pity.

"Sure, what time?"

"Give me another hour."

"I'll be there." The good thing was that the family had no idea about Kaoru or the whole thing about him wanting to have a baby. So there wouldn't be anything uncomfortable details to explain to them.

… . . …

Kaoru sat at the kitchen table and tried to focus on her studies. But it was hard with that check sitting beside her on the table top. Ten million yen. Kenshin wrote it out as easily as if it had been a lousy five hundred yen. He handed it to her as she climbed out of his car. He then wished her well and drove off, giving Kaoru the impression that they were never going to see him again.

Kaoru took a deep breath. Kenshin was gone, and this was a good thing. There would be no marriage, no pregnancy and no disappearing acts at the end of the nine months. And now they would be able to have Yahiko's operation, provided a donor could be found.

So why then, was she feeling so miserable?

Kaoru picked up the check and leaned back in her chair to study it. Kenshin's signature was illegible but bold and confident like he was. Yet there was some kindness in him too. How many men would give up ten million yen to save a stranger, a child they didn't even know?

Quite a few, Kaoru was sure…those with money to burn. But how many of those people would sacrifice something they wanted so dearly in order to do so?

Kenshin was rare and special.

Kaoru folded her arms to use as a pillow across the table top and she gazed across the floor to the kitchen. She remembered the little notes he had tacked to her cabinets. She had found one earlier under her sink warning her about not using certain chemicals while she was pregnant.

She breathed a soft laugh as she climbed to her feet and made her way over to her fridge, a fridge now stuffed with food. Kaoru was sure Kenshin was cursing the day they met. He had wanted a baby and that was far from what he got. Slowly but surely he had entangled himself in their lives. Despite the bluntness at the interview and the fact that he knew she lied about the stranger she had slept with, he'd seemed in control. But considering the exceptions he had made for her…he was nothing but a big softy.

For a moment Kaoru felt a stab of jealousy for his dead wife-whoever she had been. To have known the love and devotion of a man like Kenshin Himura…what would that be like? Saitou's best assets were there for all to see, his handsome face strong personality. But try search for anything deeper and you would be disappointed.

Going to the table, Kaoru picked up the phone and quickly dialed Kenshin's number. When he had dropped her off she had been too emotional and too confused to say anything. The man deserved a sincere thank-you and somewhat of an apology, but when his answering machine kicked on Kaoru heard herself say, "Let's do it." and she hung up.

… . . …

The phone rang, thinking it was her alarm clock, Kaoru fumbled to find the off switch until she realized she was still at the kitchen table with her studies spread out in front of her. She lunged for the phone.

"Hello?" She muttered as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

"Was that you who left that message?"

"Kenshin?" Kaoru snapped awake and squinted to see the time, it was almost midnight. "You didn't just call to wake me up, did you?"

"No, but there's an idea."

"Not a very good one."

"Because hard working executives need their sleep?"

Kaoru laughed softly as she rubbed at her face where one of her textbooks had left an imprint. "No, Because soon-to-be pregnant women do. They also need plenty of fruits and vegetables and to stay away from certain household cleaners."

They both shared a laugh before falling silent for a long moment.

"Did you mean what you said?" Kenshin asked.

"About having a baby?"

"Yeah."

Kaoru bit her lip. She had been left off the hook and something like this could be the biggest mistake of her life, not to mention cause lots of issues down the road. But she just couldn't accept such a gift from Kenshin without trying to give him the gift he so desperately wanted. And it all went well they would both end up happy. And she knew Kenshin would make a wonderful father, so she didn't have to worry about that anymore.

"Yeah I am."

"It could get messy-for both of us."

"I know, we'll work it out."

"What about Yahiko? I realized today how hard this could be on him."

"Yahiko has very little chance of making it." Kaoru confessed for the first time. She squeezed her eyes shut against the tears that suddenly welled up. "If he dies, we won't have to tell him anything. And if he does go, at least he'll go thinking he had a big brother who loved and cared for him. I didn't realize how much he's missed that."

She could hear him breathing softly on the other line. "We can take this one day at a time, okay?"

"Yeah, that's a good idea." Kaoru smiled to herself as she closed the books she had been sleeping on and neatly stacked them on the table. "What…what gender do you want? I think they can spin the sperm or something to better you chances. A boy I'm guessing."

"I'm happy with whatever I get. I think I've taken the matter into my own hands enough. Let mother nature take over from there."

"Good idea."

"Well I'll see you tomorrow then; we'll go to the jewelry store."

"See you then." They hung up the phone and Kaoru glanced down at the table. There sat Kenshin's check. She could have just cashed it and went on with her life. Now she will be married and next weekend be pregnant. Kaoru smacked herself in the forehead. "What an idiot."

* * *

a/n Aww what is Kaoru thinking? That was a close one though, at least Kaoru felt compelled to keep her side of the deal even though she didn't have to. Or else this would have turned into one strange story. But things seem to be getting a little dodgy for Kenshin, he might just get in deeper than he wants. And that's just what we want to see..Mwhaha. Thanks for reading everyone, reviews are loved.


	7. The Ring

A/n Hi everyone. Hope I didn't keep you waiting for too long. I want to thank all my reviewers on their great reviews, thank you for all the congratulations. I agree that it was good Kenshin let Kaoru out of the deal, felt a little too much like blackmail on Kenshin's part. But of course Kaoru's heart wouldn't let him just leave empty handed.  
Well I won't talk long. On to the story!

Disclaimer, I don't own anything

* * *

"Just a plain, simple band." Kaoru said.

Elevator music played in the background as Kaoru stood on the thick dark carpet of the jewelry store. The man in a suit, with slicked back hair and a plastic smile stood behind the glass jewelry cases waiting for the slightest indication as to what might interest them.

"What kind of ring did you have with Saitou?" Kenshin offered.

Kaoru looked up from the case. "Oh, it was gorgeous. But like him-it didn't last."

"And here I thought diamonds were forever."

Kaoru shook her head. "Not if you pawn them. I needed the money for clothes and healthy food for Yahiko. Saitou was in-between jobs again."

Kenshin cocked an eyebrow "Was that the first sign of trouble in your marriage?"

"Hardly."

"I'm sure the lady deserves a very nice ring after such a bad experience." The salesman said with a slight accent.

Kaoru hardly expected Kenshin to use anymore money than he had to in the next nine months. He wouldn't fall for such obvious cheap sales tactics.

"What did it look like?" Kenshin bent over the glass countertop, looking at the sparkling gems inside. The bright lights shooting into the jewelry case highlighted the gold in Kenshin's red hair.

"Nearly a carat, marquis, on a gold band."

"Sounds pretty."

"It was, but we put it on my credit, I'm still paying for it."

Kenshin shook his head. "Would you like something like that…if…"

Kaoru glanced at him. "If you could afford it?" after giving her ten million yen, Kenshin was sure to need to watch his funds.

The salesman wasted no time; he whipped out a small clipboard and paper with a pen. "No need for cash, sir. Just a bit of information and no money down, you can finance the whole thing."

"Good news sweetheart." Kenshin grinned. "Let's try this one."

Kaoru bent to look where he was pointing. It was a large pear shaped diamond; the accompanying wedding band had diamonds inlayed all across the band. The salesman sprung into action. He took the key from the ring on his belt and unlocked the case. "Don't you think that's a bit expensive, _dear_?"

"Nothing's too expensive for the woman who'd going to be my wife." Kenshin grinned back.

"Very good choice sir. The diamond is obvious high quality, just look at the clarity." The man said, his eyes starting to gleam as he took the small velvet box, removed the ring and handed it to Kaoru.

She slipped the ring on her finger. Oh was it lovely. It glittered rainbows at her with every tip of her hand. It was the most beautiful ring she had ever seen, much less worn on her hand. "How much?" she whispered, despite how awestruck she was.

"Don't worry about the price, leave that to me." Kenshin said softly, leaning slightly over her shoulder to look at the ring glittering on her finger.

He sure was playing part of devoted fiancé well. But why bother putting on such an act for a salesman they would never see again. The phone rang and the salesman excused himself. "What kind of game are you playing?" she whispered under her breath. "I thought we were looking for a plain band. Are you trying to disappoint me by waving this in my face first?"

Kenshin's smile was dazzling as the ring on her finger. "I'm just looking for some leverage, that I am."

"Leverage for what?" She asked, having no idea what he was talking about.

"I want to be part of the birth."

Kaoru blinked. "No. I already told you that." She wiggled the ring off and set it back on the counter.

"Ah but no is so final."

"And it's not your favorite word, I know…but that's my answer."

Kenshin turned to the small tray of rings and picked up a simple, plain, inexpensive gold band in one hand and the pear shaped diamond in the other. He turned back to Kaoru and moved his hands like a scale.

"He comes to the birth." He said as he raised the beautiful glittering ring. "Or he doesn't" he raised the plain band and dropped the other. "It's not a difficult decision Kaoru." He said with a grin.

Kaoru set her hands on her hips. "I can't believe you. Here I was starting to think you were a pretty decent guy, and here you are tying to buy your way into my delivery room."

"Don't say it like that; you're making me sound like some kind of pervert. I just want to be there when my child is born, what's wrong with that?"

The salesman cleared his throat, having returned from his phone call. Embarrassed Kaoru turned to the salesman as Kenshin set the rings on the counter in front of her. The diamond was just beautiful and tempting. But she wasn't about to let Kenshin in the delivery room, she already felt as if she had sold her soul. She pointed to the plain band and the salesman popped it back in the box and wrapped it up. "He doesn't go to the delivery." She said before turning and walking out of the shop to the car.

… . . …

"I don't understand how offering to buy you a five hundred and eighty-six thousand Yen ring to allow me to come to the birth would make you so angry." Kenshin said as he drove Kaoru home.

Kaoru glared out the passenger window. "There are some things money can't buy, have you ever heard of that?"

Kenshin scowled, "I was just trying to offer you a reasonable trade. If you don't want to see it like that then enjoy your gold band."

"Don't worry, I will." Kaoru sniffed.

"Fine."

They drove in silence down the tree lined streets until they reached Kaoru's house. Kaoru got out of the car without saying goodbye and slammed the door shut. She marched behind Kenshin's car and up the steps to her house. Kenshin watched her as she dug around in her purse and then in her pockets. Then after a moment more she turned back around and walked towards him. Kenshin's lips twitched upward at the sheepish look on her face.

"I'm locked out." She confessed into his open window.

"And the key that was under the mat?" Kenshin's smile was innocent.

"Is in the pocket of the pants I wore the other day."

"Because…"

"Because I was trying to keep you out. You know all this; stop trying to rub it in."

"You're trying to keep me out because I stocked your fridge, that you are." He shook his head. "You make a lot of sense." He said as he jammed his car into park and shut it off. Kenshin climbed out of his car and sighed softly to himself. "Should we try crawling through a window?"

Kaoru thought about it for a moment. "No, these are the old thick glass with the latches on the top; I'm pretty good at keeping them locked because I live alone."

"Back door?"

"Locked."

"You make the rounds to make sure you're locked up tight and yet you keep a key under the mat of your front door? That's about as smart as turning down a five hundred thousand yen ring."

"Enough about the ring already. I'm already regretting it without your help."

"Well let that be a lesson to you." He watched with a smile as Kaoru's eyes flashed.

"I'm pretty sure you'll offer me something else in the next nine months anyway." She said with a sniff as she turned back to the house.

Kenshin moved quickly to keep up with her. "Well now that I know it's open for a trade, I'm sure I can think of something."

The two argued lightly back and fourth as they checked every window and door they could reach, everything was locked tight. Kenshin stood in the overgrown back yard and looked around. The garden had seen far better days. A little love was all it would take to bring it back to its glory. But with a sick brother and med school, He was sure the garden was the last thing on Kaoru's mind. "I think your bedroom window would be the easiest to crawl through." He called to Kaoru. "Do you want me to break it?"

"No!" Kaoru rushed over. "It's already past six. I won't be able to get anyone to replace for me until tomorrow." Plus it would cost her an arm and a leg. "Just take me to the hospital. Misao will be there after work, she has a key."

"Where does she work?"

"At the Wong Supermarket near here. She's a cashier."

"Do you want me to take you there?"

"No, she might not have the key with her; I'll just wait at the hospital."

"But those supermarkets don't close until eleven." He frowned, not liking the idea of Kaoru's lack of sleep.

"It's okay, I think she gets off before eleven tonight. Besides I was just going to grab my backpack and head to the hospital to study anyways. Getting locked out saved me from studying."

"Then why don't you sound so pleased about it?" Kenshin asked as he followed her out of her yard. Kaoru turned and smiled at him over her shoulder.

"Because I'm pretty sure I'm going to flunk my finals in two weeks."

… . . …

"Now that you're not angry with me anymore, do you want to stop at my house before I take you to the hospital?" Kenshin drove with one hand on the quiet road; he looked casual and relaxed with his tie loosened quite a bit and his collar unbuttoned. Kaoru could catch a glimpse of his pale chest ever so often as he turned the wheel. She wondered what kept Kenshin from getting enough sun. Most likely she looked worse than he did.

She still had yet to see his house. Kaoru's uncle had yet to call her, and she was sure she wouldn't hear from him until the wedding day so that took off some of the pressure. Yet she knew very little about the man she was going to marry on Saturday. Kaoru glanced at Kenshin again as a wave of butterflies hit her stomach. She couldn't believe she was going to marry a man like Kenshin in only a few days. Quickly she shoved the fluttering feeling away. She was only doing this to thank him for saving Yahiko. "Who said I wasn't mad at you anymore?" Kaoru propped her head on her elbow resting on the window's ledge and turned to watch him drive.

Kenshin's grin was arrogant. "I'm too endearing to be mad at, that I am." He turned to watch the road. "Besides, in nine months, you'll be rid of me."

Kaoru was sure that would be the least of her problems.

"Do you want to call the hospital and check on Yahiko first?" Kenshin flipped out a shiny, silver chrome cell phone.

Kaoru thanked him as she dialed the number and gave the switchboard operator Yahiko's name and room number. The phone rang once before it was picked up.

"Yahiko's room." The boy chirped into the phone and Kaoru couldn't help but smile.

"Hi Yahiko-kun, its Kaoru."

"Hi Kaoru-chan"

"How is everything?"

"Good. One of the doctor's just gave me a sticker book and Miss Yamata is here."

Miss Yamata was Yahiko's preschool teacher when the boy had been younger. She was very kind and knew just how to keep a young child entertained. "Are you going to be okay without me for a little while?" The boy was preoccupied with his guest. "Yahiko?"

"Yes Kaoru-chan?"

"I'm going to be another hour or so, will you be alright without me until then?"

"Sure, Miss Yamata brought a bunch of books with her; I bet she's going to read to me."

A lump grew in Kaoru's throat as she was overwhelmed with gratitude towards this relative stranger. That someone unexpected would drop by and add a bit more joy in his life took such weight off her shoulders even for just a little while. "Tell Miss Yamata that Kaoru-chan is very…grateful that she could stop by."

"I will Kaoru-chan"

"Talk to you later Yahiko" She pushed the End button after Yahiko said his goodbyes. She set the phone on the armrest between their seats and she kept her face adverted from Kenshin so he wouldn't see the shimmering emotion in her eyes. But it seemed impossible to keep anything hidden from Kenshin.

"What is it?" He asked softly.

"Nothing." Kaoru sniffed. "Yahiko's old preschool teacher is there with him, she'll keep him company until I get back. She's a…wonderful person."

Kenshin reached across the car and closed his fingers over hers. The gesture startled Kaoru as she glanced down at his hand resting on her hand on her lap. He gently lifted her palm and brought it to his mouth where he placed a kiss on her fingers. It was a simple, sweet gesture that spoke of how much he understood. For he too had to endure the soul-wrenching loss of a loved one. Even though his was swift and hers was drawn-out, it was the same pain. Kaoru felt comfort and strength as Kenshin held her, like she had plugged into an outside energy source. But all too soon, he let go.

She wanted to cling to him, to continue to fill the run-down battery inside of her. But she kept her hands balled into fists and kept them rooted to her lap. She couldn't lean on Kenshin; there would be hell to pay in nine months if she did. Kaoru knew she had to carry her own burdens. They were silent for most of the drive.

Road construction slowed the fifteen minute drive out of the main city to a thirty minute crawl. Kaoru took the chance to switch her mind off. She didn't think about Yahiko, or school or Kenshin or the baby she was to carry. Soon the traffic died down and they moved into a quieter part of the city. Trees and shrubs lined the narrow streets as they climbed higher up the hill.

"We're almost there." Kenshin said, speaking for the first time since he'd kissed her hand. He slowed for some boys playing baseball in the street then turned a corner and pulled into the driveway and parked in front of the garage. The house looked to have been built around the same time as the rest in the neighborhood. Only a new coat of paint set it apart from the rest.

"It looks like a nice place." Kaoru said as she followed him on to the deck to the back of the house. The back yard extended partway up the hill. Quite a large property.

"It has potential." Kenshin said. "Tomoe and I were going to plant a vegetable garden over there." He pointed to a grassy part of the yard by the back fence. "And she wanted a herb garden by the kitchen door. And wildflowers by that old gazebo" He paused as if memories were flooding back faster than he could process them. Kaoru watched them flicker behind his eyes. "We had lots of remodeling planed." He finished quickly as he continued to the back door.

"You never got it done?"

"No, we stopped the roof from leaking and did a few things inside the house but I never added the fourth bedroom and extra bath, and I've lost interest in it."

Kaoru let the subject drop as Kenshin unlocked the door. She stepped into a room that his wife had obviously furnished. Hard wood floors, oriental rugs, wainscoting on the bottom half of the walls, and beige and white striped wallpaper finished the effect, topped off by a thick crown molding. It was western style and warm. Kaoru could instantly picture Kenshin's wife pouring over wallpaper books for just the right match to the leather sofa and the plaid side chairs.

"Wow" Was all Kaoru could say as her eyes darted from one detail to the next.

Kenshin gave her a wry grin. "Tomoe was quite the decorator, that she was."

Tomoe must have been a lot more than that. For he looked both proud and lost when he said her name. Kenshin lead her around the rest of the house, showing her everything except for what lay behind one door next to the master room. From the floor plan, Kaoru guessed it was a second bedroom. Perhaps Kenshin thought it was too messy. He had already shown her his office, which had a large desk and cabinets full of files everywhere. She wouldn't be surprised if it was a room with files strewn everywhere. Someplace for extra storage for backup papers.

Or perhaps he'd created a shrine for his dead wife.

The thought gave Kaoru the creeps but she shrugged the thought away. "So what kind of music do you like?" she asked as they made their way back to the living room.

Kenshin nodded in the direction of a large cabinet of CD's "Pick something, I'll make us dinner."

"Actually I better get back to the hospital; Yahiko is used to me being there most of the time."

"His teacher is there with him remember? I'm sure he's having a great time, that I do. Besides, I'm sure the hospital would call you if they need you."

Kaoru put her hand in her pocket and glanced down at the cheap cell phone she always carried with her, she checked it for an answer that she already knew, the screen was blank, no messages, and no missed calls. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Then let's eat, it won't take long." Kenshin said with a smile as he turned to the kitchen.

Kaoru browsed the CD's as she listened to bottles clinking and the fridge door opening and shutting several times. She picked a CD of contemporary instrumental music and put it on. She wandered around the living room looking at the paintings on the wall, the long wooden sheaths that held katana swords mounted tastefully in various places. An oak pendulum clock ticked from the mantle of a small fireplace. The table behind the sofa held a lamp, a neat stack of magazines and a framed photo of Kenshin with a woman with long blue-black hair, kind eyes and a gentle smile. She had creamy skin and wore a one piece bathing suit that showed off her curvy figure. They were on a boat or something-perhaps on their honeymoon? The wind was playing havoc with their hair, but Kenshin stood behind her, his cheek pressed to hers and his arms around her middle. They were both laughing into the camera

God they looked happy.

Checking to make sure Kenshin was occupied, Kaoru picked up the photograph so she could take a closer look. She had a dusting of light freckles, cupid bow lips and a pert nose. She was nothing short of beautiful. She tried to picture her pregnant, round with Kenshin's baby and Kaoru suffered a twinge of envy. She had it all, few women were so lucky.

Except Tomoe's luck had run out. A drunk driver had-

"What would you like to drink?" Kenshin poked his head out of the kitchen. Kaoru was so startled she nearly dropped the frame. Kenshin's eyed darted to the picture and back up to Kaoru. "That's Tomoe, my wife." He said simply.

"I thought so." Kaoru quickly put the frame back where she found it. "She was lovely."

Kenshin returned to the kitchen. "Tea okay?" He called out a moment later.

"Yeah, that's fine." Kaoru answered as she sat on the leather couch. The supple hide molded to her body and smelled like good quality leather. It was obviously a very expensive piece, far better than anything she ever had. Kaoru snuggled deeper into the cushion and leaned her head back and allowed her eyes to close to give her a few minutes of peace.

_She was playing with Yahiko when he was a toddler. Blowing raspberries on his round tummy as he squealed with laughter. Her uncle Gensai was there with a video camera to capture every moment of his third birthday. Saitou was there, looking as handsome as ever with a small cupcake sized cake ready for Yahiko. They were still dating, not yet married. _

… . . …

Kenshin carried two plates filled with leftovers one of his sisters had insisted he take after one of their outings. He set the plates in the dinning area and returned for their drinks when he noticed that Kaoru had fallen asleep. He thought about waking her up so that she could eat. He was sure she wasn't getting enough nutrition in the few bites of food she took here and there when she remembered her hunger pangs. But she looked so exhausted. The bones in her cheeks were more prominent than ever, the dark circles under her eyes were more pronounced. No, it was better for her to get some sleep. He grabbed a quilt from the linen closet and draped it over her. He kept himself company by reading the newspaper as he ate. She was still asleep when he finished so he went out to his car and fetched his briefcase. An hour more had past and he was finished with his work but Kaoru was still out.

Again Kenshin thought about waking her up, he knew she wanted to get back to the hospital, afraid that Yahiko might need her they had been gone for almost three hours already. But Kaoru had snuggled into the quilt and was sleeping so soundly, it was obvious that she needed the rest and Kenshin couldn't find it in himself to wake her.

He wrote her a quick note telling her to call him on his cell phone when she woke up. He left it on the coffee table in front of her. He then found the car keys and slipped out the back.

* * *

A/n Aww isn't Kenshin being a great guy…sorta. lol that thing with the ring bit, that was kind a low, but fun to write. So Kenshin is going to take Kaoru's place by Yahiko's side, this could be eye-opening for the man.

Oh, and shameless plug time: For those who are following my My Love Series, I finished Accept my Love. This means that the anticipated and very much awaited for Aoshi-Misao story Endure my Love is about to be posted. (in about two weeks or so.) Editing is in the works and it will be up soon, keep you eyes open.

Thanks for reading everyone! Reviews are loved!


	8. The Trade

a/n Sorry for the wait everyone. This week has been horrible. I haven't been able to edit anything, much less do much writing. But I was able to pound this out so I can keep my mind on "Endure". With that said, Thank you, my reviewers. You make me strive to write better and faster.

Kenshin was pretty evil with the ring thing. Most of you agreed with that. Hopefully he will be able to redeem himself.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

* * *

"I thought Kaoru-chan was coming?" Yahiko asked as Kenshin walked into his room.

"She fell asleep, so I came to keep you company." Kenshin showed him the two coloring books and a box of crayons and markers he brought with him. "I thought we could color together until she woke up."

"You know how to color?" Yahiko asked with a doubtful lift of a nonexistent eyebrow.

Kenshin nodded as he wheeled the tray Yahiko normally ate on over to his bed. "I'm an Ad executive. So I color with words as well, that I do." He placed the books on the table and waited for the boy to pick one. "When did your teacher leave?"

"Not long ago." Yahiko said as he flipped a book open and leafed through the pages.

"Did you two have fun?" Kenshin sat beside Yahiko and set the now open box of crayons on the table. "What did you two do?"

"She read me a few stories and then we played with finger puppets." The boy smiled and wiggled his index fingers. "It was fun."

"What was your favorite story?"

Yahiko stopped at a picture of a boy flying a kite at a picnic and reached for a red crayon. "Ummm, I liked the one about the girl who went onto the three bears' house."

"Ah Goldilocks." Kenshin nodded his head and Yahiko looked up at him in surprise.

"You know that story?"

Kenshin puffed out his chest comically. "Any self-respecting adult knows that story."

"Yeah but I hate porridge." The boy pulled a face. "I think it's kinda like oatmeal."

"Yeah I don't like hot cereal all that much. I like cold cereal, that I do."

"Me too!" The boy clapped his hands. "I like fruity-O's"

Kenshin winced, not the healthiest of choices, but considering the boy was a six-year-old. "What about Life?"

"It's okay." The boy nodded.

"Always had a good ad campaign." Kenshin muttered. But the boy wasn't listening. He had already broken out the markers on the coloring book. Kenshin sat back and watched as the child carefully colored in the lines. After a few minute of concentration, Yahiko looked up and smiled.

"It's fun coloring with you. I'm glad you're going to be my new big brother, Onii-chan."

Kenshin felt the same stab of panic the last time he had said that. But Kenshin calmed himself down. He was just a sweet little boy. A sweet boy who belonged to _someone else_. He couldn't let himself get too close. Not when he would be walking away in nine months.

"Look!" The boy held up the book showing off a red boy running on yellow grass with a purple kite in the air.

"That's wonderful, that it is. Perhaps one day you'll grow up to be an artist." Kenshin smiled as the boy grinned up at him. Yahiko went back to work on his coloring but after a few minutes; Kenshin noticed that he was slowing down. Squinting, his breathing irregular, he finally slumped over his work, the marker in his hand slipping to roll on the table.

"Yahiko? What's wrong?" a prickle of fear climbed up his spine.

"My head hurts."

"Do you think I should call the nurse?" Kenshin asked, climbing quickly to his feet.

"No." he said, but Kenshin left the room to get a nurse anyway. He wasn't going to take any chances.

"Nurse." He waved to a woman sitting behind the desk at the nurse's station. The woman stood up right away.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Yahiko says his head hurts. I was wondering if he should be checked."

The nurse wasted no time, she quickly followed Kenshin back to Yahiko's room where they found the boy curled up and crying. The nurse pulled out a thermometer and took the boy's temperature. She frowned and turned to Kenshin. "Yahiko has a fever; I'm going to call the doctor."

A few minutes later a gray-haired man walked into the room. "I'm Dr. Forte" He introduced himself to Kenshin. Yahiko hardly seemed to notice that the doctor had arrived, he was curled up and whimpering as he rocked back and forth.

"I'll give his sister a call." Kenshin said. He wondered if he had made a horrible mistake by letting Kaoru sleep. He called her cell but could only leave a message. He hoped it was enough to wake the tired woman. After calling, he sat by Yahiko's side as the doctor took a look at him. The nurse ran about the room gathering some things together. She started some medication on what she called a central venous catheter. "What going on?" he finally asked, unable to stay silent any longer.

"He has another blood infection." The doctor answered. "We're going to start him on some antibiotics."

Kenshin took Yahiko's small hand, hoping to comfort the boy and help him through his pain. As soon as he touched his cool flesh, the boy reached out and clung desperately to Kenshin.

"Please don't go." He begged. "Stay with me."

… . . …

The scene that greeted Kaoru when she rushed into the room nearly an hour later just about knocked the wind out of her. A nurse had intercepted her long enough to tell her that everything was fine, for now. But Kaoru still expected to find Yahiko crying, wondering why his Kaoru-chan was gone so long. Or perhaps suffering quietly while Kenshin paced the room, waiting for reinforcements.

Instead she found her new fiancé lying in the hospital bed with Yahiko curled in his arms and they were both sleeping peacefully. Misao sat in a chair next to the bed wearing her blue checkered work uniform and reading a magazine.

Kaoru stood there and allowed the panic she had felt during her mad rush to the hospital drain away in one deep breath. She stood there and tried to stop shaking, it had been a close call, but Yahiko had managed to survive again.

Misao's sympathetic smile from her chair told Kaoru that she understood.

Kaoru indicated Kenshin with a point of her head. "I'm in real trouble here aren't I?" she whispered.

Misao followed her gaze. "If you want to call that trouble. It could also be your once-in-a-lifetime chance at happiness."

"Maybe." Kaoru shoved her hands deep in her pockets and gazed at the sleeping pair. "He came here tonight on his own, you know. To baby-sit for me so I could sleep."

"I'd say that's pretty amazing."

"Yeah, considering he hardly knows us."

Misao put her magazine away and sprung up from her chair. "He has a lot of compassion in him." She lowered her voice even further so Kaoru had to lean in to hear. "Perhaps you should rethink your relationship a little bit. Maybe think of it as not so temporary."

Afraid that Kenshin might wake up and hear their conversation, Kaoru waved Misao out into the hall. A nurse looked up at them and smiled before going back to her work when she realized they didn't need her.

"I admit he has a certain appeal" Kaoru said softly. "But I don't think it would be wise to see our relationship as anything but temporary. He's still in love with his dead wife."

"Time's on your side, Kaoru."

"Nothing is on my side; except for how fiercely Yahiko is trying to hang on to life. Besides, you should see what I'm up against…His last wife was," she let her breath out in a soft whistle. "wow."

"Pretty huh?"

"More than that. You could tell from her picture that she was well-adjusted, fun-loving, graceful...everything."

"You got all that from a photo, Kaoru?" Misao scoffed. "It's easy to idealize the dead. She's not here to prove anyone wrong."

Kaoru motioned for her to keep her voice down. "Don't you think_ he_ idealizes her?" She jerked her thumb over her shoulder. "I can't compete with that."

Misao grunted. "I don't care what you say, no one's perfect."

"Yeah I know that." Kaoru snapped. "But do you think he cares? His heart tells him differently."

"I think Kenshin Himura is smarter than you think."

Kaoru glanced down at her white shoes as she thought, then decided to change the subject. "How long have you been here?"

"Just a few minutes, the store closed early today. But things had already calmed down by the time I got here."

"Did you get to meet Kenshin?"

"No, he was already asleep with Yahiko when I got here. The doctor told me you were on your way so I thought I would wait."

Kaoru wanted to tell Misao that she took a lot for granted from a man she had never met, but Misao was usually right about people, so she kept silent. "I'm glad you're here. It's good to see you and-" Kaoru fought hard not to squirm. "-I need my house key, I'm locked out."

Misao didn't say anything, but the look she gave her friend put Kaoru on the defensive.

"Well if Kenshin hadn't let himself in my house on two different occasions, I wouldn't have had to remove my key." She said, exasperated to see that Misao's reaction was much like what Kenshin's had been.

"Yeah, your back was against the wall." She said as she dug around in her purse. "Anyway, I have to go. Here's your key." She said as she worked it off her key ring. She handed it to Kaoru and then gave her a hug.

"Sometimes I feel so lost." Kaoru said as she let herself sag in her friend's arms. "I don't know what I would do if I lost Yahiko. Sometimes I feel like I'm going in circles, I'm getting dizzy from it."

Misao peeked around Kaoru's shoulder at Kenshin who was still asleep. She smiled. "I think things are going to change, Kaoru; you just need an anchor." She patted her friend's arm before setting her purse strap on her shoulder and turning to walk down the hall. Kaoru waited until she couldn't hear the soft squishing of her thick-soled shoes.

… . . …

Someone was shaking him.

Kenshin blinked and tried to take in his surroundings in the dim light. A machine, tubes, a sink, a small child in his arms…Yahiko. Kenshin smiled as he remembered how brave Yahiko was while going through the whole blood-infection ordeal. How brave he was for a young boy. Kenshin wanted to hold him tightly and kiss his fuzzy bald head and be brave for him. But his sister was hovering over them.

"You can go home now, I'm here." Kaoru murmured quietly.

Kenshin carefully extracted himself from the boy and sat up, shaking his left arm to bring the blood back to it. "Have you talked to the doctor?"

Kaoru shook her head. "The nurse."

"Is everything okay?"

"They think so."

Kenshin sighed. "That was scary, that it was." How was it that a child could be so brave and he felt so helpless?

"I'm sorry it took so long for me to get here. I was sleeping so deeply that the ring from my phone just became a part of my dreams. It took twenty minutes for the reminder beeps and vibrations to wake me up. That's never happened before." Most of the time Kaoru was jolted awake by the first musical trill of her phone.

"That's alright, You've probably haven't been so tired before."

"And then I had to wait for a half hour for the cab to come and then it took more than twenty minutes to get here. I though I was never going to get here."

"Yahiko was a trooper." Kenshin said, trying to calm her down. "Real brave. Fortunately the antibiotic started working right away."

"Good." She didn't ask how he came to be holding her brother, and Kenshin didn't volunteer an explanation. What had happened in those last few minutes before he and Yahiko had dropped off to sleep had touched him in a profound way. He didn't understand how and why, but being there for a suffering child who needed him had soothed away some of the residual pain in his heart.

"It's late. I better get going." He said, fighting a yawn and climbing to his feet as carefully as possible so he didn't disturb Yahiko. "What about you?"

"I'm going to stay here. They'll bring me a rollaway if I want."

Kenshin nodded, he was hesitant to leave, fearing that he'll wake in the morning to hear that the boy had died in his absence. Was this what Kaoru had been going though all this time. Never wanting to leave the hospital for fear she wouldn't see her brother alive again? Standing vigil over a child so sick made one afraid to blink for fear he would slip away. "What about your classes tomorrow?"

"I'll go if Yahiko's feeling okay. Misao gave me her key to my house, so I can get in and pick up my books."

"Who will be here with him?" he nodded toward Yahiko.

"Misao sometimes comes by in the mornings."

"I could stop by too, you know, just to check on him. The office is just down-"

"I know." Kaoru interrupted. "But that's okay" She cleared her throat and glanced at Yahiko. "I don't think it would be a good idea for you two to get attached."

"Right." He wondered if she was angry that he hadn't woken her, that he'd come to the hospital himself. "Well there's still the problem that you don't have a car here. If you'll give me the keys, I'll take a taxi to your house and drive your car back to the hospital."

Kaoru looked as though she might argue, but after a moment, handed him the key to her house. "My car keys should be on the counter. Just park close to where we parked last time and put the keys under the floor mat when you get there."

"Alright." He grinned at her. "Right after I make a copy."

She rolled her eyes. "Just don't leave anymore notes, okay?"

… . . …

Sano helped himself to a triple shot of sake and nudged the refrigerator shut with his knee. "I can't believe you're going through with it. You're going to marry a complete stranger-one with a sick brother."

Kenshin downed his own shot and grabbed a bag of shrimp flavored chips from his cupboard. "Yep, tomorrow."

Sanosuke shook his head, then sauntered back into the living room to sink into one of the plaid chairs that flanked the sofa. Kenshin followed him, trading the chips for the remote and settled back to flip through the zillion channels on his satellite system.

"You don't have any problem with that?" Sano asked when Kenshin didn't say anymore.

Kenshin had lots of problems with marrying a stranger, a woman he didn't love. But he had bigger problems facing the emptiness of his life without doing something to fill it. "No."

"Jezz." Sano gulped down a bit more of his sake. Kenshin flipped to a sports channel. "You're crazy, you know that."

Kenshin shrugged. "Sometimes you gotta take a few chances in your life, that you do."

"Me, I prefer to bungee jump or sky dive, it's safer."

"You've never been married." Hell Kenshin was pretty sure the man had ever really been in love. He liked anything with long legs and half the mind to show him a good time, so long as they didn't get clingy. Sano feared commitment; he didn't understand how fulfilling they could be."

"I figure I'll save my ball-and-chain stuff for later."

"If you don't feel the need to share your life with someone you really care about, then I guess there's no reason to peruse marriage, that there isn't."

"That's not why you're marrying this Kaoru lady."

"I've already had a fulfilling marriage. Now I'm looking for a child."

"Shit, man that's just hard to understand." Sano shook his head. "Why don't you just sign up at one of those charities where you can schedule some time to spend with a needy kid or something?"

Kenshin ignored him as he flipped through the channels, stopping with Sano protested, wanting to watch a music channel that showed girls in bikini's dancing on a random beach. Hardly the show Kenshin wanted to watch, but he set the remote down and let his friend watch.

"So is there anyway to talk you out of tomorrow?" Sano asked.

"Do we have to go through this all over again?" Kenshin demanded. "I mean, you didn't come over to this impromptu bachelor party to intentionally turn me into a homicidal maniac, did you?"

When he was finally able to drag his eyes from the bouncing breast and wiggling hips on television, Sanosuke looked surprised. "What? Am I driving you crazy?"

Kenshin couldn't help but chuckle. Sometime he wished he could be as unaffected by the ups and downs of life as Sanosuke was. Or as simply entertained. There'd been a time when he was as carefree as Sano. But he was no longer interested in short-term relationships that went nowhere. Kenshin liked to think that this change was proof of maturity and wondered if and when his friend was ever going to grow up. "I'm going through with it, okay? I'm going to marry Kaoru tomorrow and I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"It's your life man." Sanosuke said, a bit defensive now.

Kenshin picked up the remote and changed it to a sitcom.

"What's she like?" Sano asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Who Kaoru?"

"No, the other girl you're going to marry. Of course Kaoru."

"She's going though hell right now.-"

"I already know that. I didn't say, 'what's her situation like?' I said what's _she_ like?"

"You've met her."

"Once."

"Yeah well. Besides being attractive, which I'm sure you've noticed, she's softhearted, loyal and a real fireball, that she is. Mostly though, I'd have to say she's…fair."

"Like fair to good? Or what? What the hell does that mean?"

Kenshin scowled, trying to control his temper. Didn't he just tell Sano he didn't want to talk about Kaoru? "Fair-minded." He clarified, thinking about her message on his answering machine that night she called and agreed to have his baby anyway. He had given her the money and let her off the hook and she came right back again all for the sake of fair play he suspected. "She might be too-fair-minded for her own good."

"Sounds like a nice lady?" Sano to another drink of his sake. "When you divorce, mind if I take her out?"

Kenshin cast him a withering glare. "You ever touch her, and I'll kill you."

Sano roared with laughter. "Aha! That tells me more than anything you said all night. Tight-lipped bastard."

Finally, though it took a moment, Kenshin laughed too. "She's going to hate you." He said.

… . . …

"What do you mean I should buy a dress for the wedding?" Kaoru said as she wandered around a department store in the mall with Misao at her side. The store smelled like new leather mixed with potpourri and ridiculously over-priced perfumes. "You said we were coming here to pick up some shoes you special-ordered."

"Can't we kill two birds with one stone?"

"Are you kidding, I haven't been able to work for eight weeks. If my uncle pays my rent another month, he'll disown me. I don't have the money to buy chewing-gum, let alone a wedding dress."

"Then it will be my present to the lovely bride."

"I don't want any presents. This isn't a real wedding."

"According to law, it will be real. That's good enough for me." Misao said happily and she drained her soda and tossed the cup in a trash bin.

Kaoru hitched her messenger bag strap higher on her shoulder. "Come on Misao, I could wear my blue jeans for all it's going to matter to Kenshin or anyone else."

They slipped past a woman with a double stroller who was begging her two young children to behave. Kaoru gave the woman and longing look, wishing that having Yahiko act up in a mall was the worst of her problems.

"What will your uncle think of you standing at the alter in a pair of pants?"

"He'll be glad to see I'm not spending money while I'm eating on his meal ticket."

"Jezz, you make him sound cheap sometimes." Misao said.

Kaoru laughed to herself. It wasn't like her uncle could afford it. He'd been living off his retirement for many years. "I'm grateful that he's helping me out right now. I just hate being so indebted to him, especially when he makes an issue of it every time we talk."

"That reminds me, he knows that the flyers and posters weren't bringing in enough money for the operation. How will you explain it to him when you suddenly have so much?"

"I haven't told him that I can yet. When we find a donor, I'll just say the insurance relented."

_If _we find a donor hovered in the air, but Kaoru was glad Misao didn't go there.

"That's good, not very believable about an insurance company, but the best you're going to do under the circumstances."

"Do you think he'd rather hear the truth?"

They both looked at each other and laughed. "Nah."

Misao pulled Kaoru towards the escalator. "Well since I'm staying here with Yahiko and will miss the big 'I do,' I want to send something from me along with you. And I want it to be a dress."

When Misao made up her mind, there was no use fighting her. But Kaoru tried one more time. "You've already done, so much for me, Misao. Don't put me and further in your debt."

"Hey, now you're making me sound like your uncle. If I want to buy you a dress, I will We've been friends since forever. There've been a lot of times when you were there for me too."

Kaoru had been hurting for so long, she didn't remember a time when she'd been someone else's strength, except Yahiko's. "I hope that's true." She said. Then she glanced at her watch. "Only problem is the mall's closing soon."

Misao squeezed her shoulders. "Then we'd better hurry because we're going to find something that will knock Kenshin's socks off!"

"As far as I'm concerned, his clothes stay on." Kaoru retorted.

"Come on!" Misao's eyes sparkled mischievously. "Don't tell me you haven't wondered what all that lean muscle would look like _al fresco_."

"I haven't thought about it." Kaoru lied.

* * *

A/n Liar, Lair pants on fire! We know what you're thinking Kaoru-chan! Next up, Kenshin meets Kaoru's only other living relative…uncle Gensai! Also the wedding!! Thanks for reading everyone, reviews are loved.


	9. The Fight

a/n wow the chapters are coming at a pretty steady pace. I like that, I'm sure you guys do to. Thank you, my wonderful reviewers, I love reading your comments, it really inspires me.

Poems2songs- we will find out soon, that we will.  
J Luc Pitard – Hmm I never thought of it that way. I just took it as some sort of expression. Now I wonder.  
Also, because of my weakness for back story, the wedding is pushed back until next chapter I swear to all the writers in the world, so please don't kill me!

Notice: Endure my Love has been posted for those following it. It seems to be doing okay so far, despite the M rating.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kenshin

* * *

Hues of magenta and gold streaked the sky when Kaoru opened the door to see Kenshin on her doorstep, his car still running, at five thirty in the morning. They had to be at the airport by six to make their flight, so she didn't invite him in. She let him take the garment bag and small suitcase she set by the door to his car while she gathered up her school books. Studying was hardly the type of pastime she'd choose on her wedding day, even though this wasn't a real wedding, but time was short.

"I'm glad to see you haven't gotten cold feet." Kenshin said as she shoved her backpack in the trunk where he'd put her other luggage. She then climbed into the passenger seat and smoothed her long denim skirt she was wearing with a short sleeved sweater. She crossed her legs and watched him from the side-view mirrors and waited for him to climb into the car.

A soft song on low volume played over the radio. The heater hummed, taking out the chill of the early spring morning air, but Kaoru shivered despite the warn interior. In a matter of hours she was going to marry a man who was going to pay her to have his baby. This man, a stranger she met by appointment. How crazy was _that_?Somehow she couldn't believe she let this wedding farce go this far. But when she looked over the events of the past two weeks, somehow it all made sense.

Kaoru didn't know if that was a good sign or a bad one. She'd been through a lot in the past year; perhaps all the stress was affecting her thinking.

"My feet are cold." She said as he backed the car out of her driveway. He was wearing khaki pants and a polo shirt that fit him almost as well as the tailored suits she was used to seeing him in. He looked good, maybe even better, but Kaoru tried not to think about it. "I'm terrified that we're making a huge mistake, but…"

Kenshin paused, glancing at her for a moment before shifting the car into drive. "But?"

Kaoru looking into his soft lavender eyes, fringed with coppery-brown lashes. "I don't want to tell you no." she admitted.

His eyebrows darted up and he rocked back as if she tried to take a swing at him. "That must be the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me, that it is."

"Well, no isn't your favorite word." She swallowed, her throat was dry.

"Right."

"Well I'm just trying to be accommodating." She was embarrassed now so she pretended to smooth her skirt, noticing that the slit cut into it to allow for leg movement was a bit higher than she thought. She smoothed the two sides together until his hand closed over hers, warm and sure. A little flutter in her stomach told her she liked it. She knew she would like it even more if he would take her hand and lift it to his mouth and place a kiss on it again. But the devilish grin on his face told her that he was thinking of something else.

"Would this be a good time to ask about coming to the birth?"

Pulling back, Kaoru punched him in the arm for principle's sake. She needed to be careful or she was going to go all soft and gooey as taffy that's been left in the sun. This whole time Kenshin had been perusing his agenda. "At this rate, I'm not even going to tell you when I go into labor."

With the amount of luggage you brought, I though we were going to be gone the whole nine months." He chuckled as he drove down the street. "What all did you bring anyways? Did you forget we're coming back tonight?"

"No." Kaoru turned her attention to her passenger window and watched the houses flittering by. "Misao bought me a dress to wear for the wedding, so I brought it. My uncle will be there so I thought we should keep up appearances. I don't think I can tell him what I'm really doing. He'll think I've finally lost it."

He glanced over at her. "I brought a suit."

Kenshin slowed the car to a stop at an intersection. He turned to glance at Kaoru. "Do you want to stop by the hospital and see Yahiko before we head to the airport?"

"Do you think we have time?" She asked. Part of her wanted to include Yahiko and pretend this was a joyous occasion. She knew how much it would please her brother, and there'd been so little to be happy about in the past year.

The other part of her insisted that the less Yahiko saw her and Kenshin together, the better.

Kenshin glanced at his watch and turned left. "I think so, I was wondering how I could make him feel like part of the wedding, in some small way, So I bought him a boutonniere. It's in the back seat if you want to take a look at it."

Surprised, Kaoru turned and lifted the lid of what resembled a cardboard hatbox. Inside she found a beautiful bouquet of white roses and two boutonnieres all carefully tucked with tissue paper. The distinctive smell of fresh-cut flowers wafted through the car and Kaoru smiled. "How thoughtful of you." She said, genuinely impressed.

Kenshin winked at her. "I have my moments."

… . . …

Yahiko wasn't awake when they arrived. Kaoru kissed his forehead to wake him and her brother started to blink and then stretched.

"Eww, sister-germs." The boy scrubbed his forehead with his palm even though he was still trying to blink the sleep from his eyes.

"Hey Yahiko-kun. Kenshin and I just stopped in to say goodbye. We're on our way-"

"To get married?" Yahiko sat up on his elbows despite the IV's. "It's today?"

Kenshin leaned on the railing of his bed. And because you're the best man, at least in spirit, we bought you something every good-looking man must wear at a wedding, that I did."

His brown eyes grew. "What?"

"A boutonniere, of course. So everyone can tell that you are a part of today's big event." He presented the small white rose and sprig of baby's breath with a flourish. Kaoru marked his incredible sales ability. It could have been a drawing of a flower stuck on a toothpick and Yahiko would have felt special wearing it. Yahiko smiled brightly as Kenshin pined it to his hospital gown with a safety pin, making sure the red ribbon that held it together was perfect.

Had _she_ been fooled by an act too?

For a moment, fear grasped Kaoru hard. She was passing one of those milestones in life that would wither leave her immeasurably glad or filled with regret. Which was it? Would the operation cure Yahiko? Would she be able to walk away from the baby when it came? There was no way to answer those questions, but as she watched Kenshin with her brother, she knew she was going to take a leap of faith.

She smiled as she watched Yahiko. He was wearing the flower as proudly as a badge of honor and he puffed out his chest.

"I'll get a picture of the two of you." Kenshin suggested, stepping back to use the disposable camera he brought with him.

"No, you too!" Yahiko insisted until he finally went for the nurse to take a picture of all three of them.

… . . …

"Is there anything I should know before I meet your uncle?" Kenshin asked. They'd been on the plane for nearly forty-five minutes and would be arriving very soon. Kaoru had studied the entire way, first delving into a thick textbook entitled _The Science of Medicine. _Then leafed through another on pharmacology. Just reading the titles was enough to bore Kenshin to tears. He hadn't thought to bring some work from home, so he'd read everything shoved into the pocket of the seat in front of him, including the emergency-procedure card. That had taken him all of ten minutes. The last thirty-five had passed at a snail's pace. "Did you hear me?" he poked Kaoru with his elbow when she didn't answer right away.

Kaoru glanced up and then reached up to turn of the overhead air-vent that was making the same racket as Darth Vader's breathing apparatus. "Okay what did you say?" She asked as her eyes went back to her book.

"I asked if there was anything I needed to know before I meet your uncle."

"Like?" she glanced up at him through her eyelashes and tucked her hair behind her ears. It came across as very cute and something tightened in Kenshin's chest. Something he didn't want to acknowledge, let alone explain.

But then he caught a glimpse of the page she was studying and his stomach nearly revolted. _What was that? A kidney? Jeez!_

He looked quickly away. "Like how we met? He said, trying to divert his mind. "You know, the normal stuff. I thought it would be smart if we worked off the same cheat sheet, that I do."

"I don't plan on leaving you alone with him. Just let me do the talking." She went back to reading and Kenshin sighed. Bouncing his knee and tapping the arm of his seat to keep himself busy.

Finally, Kaoru looked pointedly at his hand. "Do you have to go to the bathroom?"

"No." What was he? A child?

"Then would you hold still?"

He let his fingers tap a couple more times, just to bug her, then quit. But he was so restless he couldn't sit still. Suddenly _he_ was the one who was getting nervous about this idea of meeting her one and only other family member. He shifted in his seat, trying to find a place for his legs in the eighteen inches of space the airline allotted for him. "What if he wants to know how I proposed?" He asked. "What will you tell him?"

"Don't worry. I'll explain that I've started a new rent-a-wife business and you're my first customer."

"Clever." He said flatly.

"Sorry, bad joke." She grinned looking far from sorry. And that…that thing in Kenshin's chest tightened again.

"Why don't we say we met on a blind date?" he asked. "People love to hear success stories that started out as a blind date."

"Because it makes them feel better about playing matchmaker."

"We could say that you know someone at school who set you up with me, that you could. We met over dinner and fell in love at first sight. An old man would be impressed with a story like that. What could be more romantic?"

Kaoru looked at him, then quickly averted her eyes. "Nothing." She said softly, and went back to her books, but Kenshin didn't mind her preoccupation anymore. His proposed lie had just reminded him how temporary their relationship really was. He no longer felt like talking and Kaoru must have lost her zeal for study, because it was a long time before she turned the page.

… . . …

"So this is your fiancé." Kaoru's uncle stepped back, one critical grey eye almost squinting as he looked Kenshin over. His wrinkled hands clasped behind his back.

Standing next to him in the middle of her uncle's modest living room, Kaoru took a deep breath and held it. She had no doubt Kenshin would pass muster, even with the braid of long hair hanging down his back. He was pouring on the charm, saying all the right things, admiring all the right things as well.

Kaoru didn't think there was anyone who could resist Kenshin now. Even her little dynamo of an uncle. What made her nervous was the lies. In nine months, she'd be calling her uncle Gensai to report another divorce, and he would probably be disappointed Kaoru had lost him. She felt like a failure in advance.

"Why didn't you call me?" her uncle was saying, "I would have picked you up at the airport. I may be old, but I'm not useless." The old man flashed a smile.

"It wasn't any trouble to rent a car, Doctor, that it wasn't" Kenshin said with a slight bow of his head.

"You're going to be my nephew, call me uncle. Anyways, I'm not a doctor anymore." He smoothed down the front of his traditional kimono. Dressed in his best, Gensai had obviously taken pains to prepare for their arrival. "I understand about the car, of course," he went on. "You'll need it for after the wedding, a young handsome man like yourself won't want to waste time visiting with an old man like me, not when he could be starting his honeymoon." The old man smiled slyly, as though they shared an inside joke, and Kaoru resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Little did her uncle know, her honeymoon consisted of latex gloves and doctors. Nothing to get excited about, but Kenshin must have smiled, at least enough to appease Gensai, because he waved them to the rust-colored sofa that crowded the room.

"Sit down. This came about so quickly, I can hardly believe it's happening. You know, When Saitou left, I told Kaoru there'd be someone else."

Kaoru remembered their conversation being more about the unreliability of men and how Saitou had been a perfect example and what could she expect. Kaoru knew that her uncle never forgave her father for leaving the family. He blamed Kaoru's father for her mother's illness and death, destroying what little family he had and he turned into quite a man-hater. But she kept her mouth shut. At least her uncle seemed to be putting forth an honest effort.

"She was so heartbroken." Gensai continued, taking the worn brown chair facing the sofa on which they settled. "She could scarcely function. And then when we found out why he left! It was humiliating." Gensai looked thoughtful for a moment and Kaoru hoped her uncle had finished with the subject, but then he went on.

"Of course we should have seen it coming. He always did have a wandering eye-"

"Uncle Gensai, we don't need to go into all that." Kaoru interrupted. "I'm sure Kenshin doesn't want to hear about my first marriage."

The old man looked slightly offended by the interruption but when Kenshin said nothing, he gracefully conceded the point. "You're right, my dear. Let's not ruin this day with bad memories. Okay, tell me, Kenshin, how did the two of you meet?"

Kaoru opened her mouth to answer, but despite her confidence on the plane and the one plausible scenario Kenshin had suggested, her mind drew a blank. 'Well…we…we met…" she glanced at Kenshin and he jumped to rescue her.

"…on a blind date." He finished, and started to embellish the story from there.

Reluctant to relinquish control of the conversation to him-this was _her_ uncle-Kaoru tried to interrupt, but Gensai was hanging on every word, nodding and smiling and soaking it all in. Besides, it was as good a story as any. Giving up, Kaoru sat back and listened.

"The moment I saw her picture, I wondered is she was the one." He said. "There was something mysterious about her smile that appealed to me. I kept going back to find that picture."

His voice sounded almost wistful, and so damn sincere. Kaoru told herself never to believe another thing he said. She also decided that her uncle had herd enough.

"So it was love at first sight." She cut in, finishing for him as a muscle started to twitch near her eye. "And here we are." She stood to indicate that that she was ready to leave, but no one moved. "What chapel should we go to? Any ideas uncle Gensai?"

The old man blinked up at her. "My are you in a hurry."

"Well Yahiko is sick, in case you've forgotten." She blurted and then caught herself. She hadn't meant to say it, especially with such sarcasm. But the words and the emotion behind them simple slipped out.

"What do you mean, 'in case I've forgotten'?"

Kaoru hesitated. She didn't want to get into it, not with Kenshin here. Not ever. If only she could close off the hurt, put it in the same place she'd put the pain when Saitou left. "Nothing, never mind. Let's go."

Her uncle didn't move. He dropped his friendly old man aura and was staring angrily at Kaoru. "How dare you come here and accuse me of not doing my par of Yahiko. Here I am, living on a pension, yet I've paid your rent for the past three months!"

_Pandora's box_… "I appreciate that, uncle Gensai and I plan to pay you back, like we agreed, as soon as I can get back to work. But Yahiko's been in the hospital a long time and you've only been over to see him twice. You rarely call even when you do, half the time you don't ask about him. I feel like he and I are fighting this battle alone. You always say that men don't stay, they don't last when the going gets tough, you even told me that you knew all along that Saitou was going to run out on me-" Kaoru stubbornly forced a swallow past the tightening in her throat. "- and now it sometimes feels like you've abandoned us too."

Shocked silence. Kenshin face was unreadable. The old doctor looked as if he'd just been slapped. It was hardly what Kaoru had planned to say when he saw her uncle today. She'd expected a quick, uneventful visit, more pleasant than not. Instead she'd started world war three. And blame it on raw nerves, exhaustion, stress hurt, disappointment, whatever, it was too late to change that now.

"Always finding fault, that's what children do these days. What us elders give is never enough is it?" Gensai demanded. "I try and try, sacrifice things I'd like to have so I can send the money to you, and it's still not enough. You know my past illness drained most of my retirement fund. I raised Yahiko the first few years of his life, I care for him just as much as you!"

"I'm sorry Yahiko's illness has put a dent in your pocketbook," she said. "I'm certainly not asking for more money."

"How dare you sit in judgment of me! I'm your elder, and your only family, you have no right!"

Kenshin stood and put his arm around Kaoru, who had started shaking and couldn't figure out how to stop. "I think we'll go now." He said, herding her to the door.

"She wants me to suffer right along with her," her uncle called after them. "That's what she wants!"

"No, she just wants your love, much more than your money." Kenshin said under his breath as they reached the porch, but only Kaoru could hear him. She was just about to turn around to shut the door when her uncle reached it first and slammed it in their face.

… . . …

"I'm sorry." Kaoru muttered, keeping her face adverted as Kenshin drove into the city looking for a wedding chapel. They had hoped to find a nice one and not have to stop by any Love Districts with its pay by the hour hotels, peep shows and gaudy love chapels. The day was warm, almost hot and the sky was clear and blue, but it suddenly didn't seem like such a nice day. "Ours is a business deal. I'm sure you weren't expecting to be dragged into an emotional typhoon."

He glanced over at her. Her emotions were so raw, he could watch them playing beneath her expression like fish gliding silently near the surface of a pond. "Should we go back to your uncle's?" he asked. "Maybe you'd feel better if you had the chance to put things right."

Kaoru shook her head, one tear falling from her dark eyelashes. She wiped it away in a quick impatient gesture. "It's too soon, he won't listen. And I don't know what I'd say anyway. I don't understand why he doesn't seem to care about Yahiko. He used to dote on him like he was his own son."

"It takes a strong person to watch what's happening to Yahiko." He said, remembering his own hesitation as he stood in the hospital lobby that first night. "Maybe he's afraid. He was a doctor; he would know the horrors that can happen."

"Maybe he is. But then, so am I. And if Yahiko can't count on his family, who can he count on?"

_Me_ Kenshin almost said the word before he caught himself, before he reminded himself that his involvement in their lives was only temporary and he was the last person Yahiko could count on. He reached over to take Kaoru's hand, knowing he couldn't fix the hurt. He could only try and comfort her, but she pulled away.

"I never would have said what I did if you hadn't been there, telling my uncle all those lies."

"You wanted me to tell the truth?"

"No, but did you have to go on and on?"

"I was telling him what I thought when I first saw your picture."

"I heard." She pulled a face. "I had a mysterious smile that kept drawing you back."

Kenshin maneuvered their rented car to the curb of a busy street just off the main roads. A small white chapel with a single spire and a large sign that read Weddings was just up the road. "I wasn't lying about that." He said.

* * *

a/n like I said…Wedding…next chapter…don't kill me. And I know some may not like Gensai so grumpy, but it felt like it fit and I wanted to give Kaoru a bit more stress, Gomen. She has to be pushed a little more. But yay for Kenshin for helping her out… kinda. Thanks for reading everyone! Reviews are loved!


	10. The Wedding

A/n Hi everyone. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews for the last chapter. I know it was hard for some to see Gensai so upset. But Kaoru has to get knocked down if Kenshin is going to be the one to pick her up eh? Still, I feel bad for her for feeling like the only one having to shoulder the responsibility. Anyways, the wedding is up so I won't keep you guys waiting!

Disclaimer: I claim no creative rights, darn it all.

* * *

Kaoru didn't respond. They sat for a moment, staring at the chapel.

"Are you ready for this?" he asked at last.

She took a deep breath and nodded.

"I'll go make sure they're open and that they have room. Do you want to come along and see if you like the place? Because there are plenty of others, that there is."

"No, it doesn't matter. Let's just get this over with."

"Okay." He got out and strode down the wide sidewalk to the green door of the wedding chapel. They'd passed several competing places as they'd driven through the city. Some had a storefront, others resembled a plan house or the lobby of a hotel. A few actually appeared to be churches, but they all looked as if they were having some sort of identity crisis. Decorated with neon lighting in the front, much like chapels in Las Vegas. And they only got cheesier and more horribly furnished the closer to the Love District they were. Kenshin figure this would be the best place he'd find other than a real church and far better than a government building.

Kenshin suddenly remember the beautiful, traditional Japanese wedding he and Tomoe had. Dozens of friends and family at a beautiful old shrine. It was a long and wonderful ceremony. He had never been more nervous, and he had never seen Tomoe looking as beautiful as she was in pure white kimono, her face painted white and she sparkled from the light bouncing off the many ornaments that hung from her headdress. He wore the traditional black kimono, and cut a fine figure if he remembered properly. A wave of guilt washed over him as he glanced at the flashing neon light above him. This was nowhere near the kind of wedding he was offering Kaoru. But then he remembered that this wedding was only for show and to protect his investment. Besides, he was sure Kaoru wouldn't have wanted such a display for a fake wedding.

At first the small lavender lobby was empty, but as soon as the bell tinkled over the door, announcing Kenshin's presence, a young, chunky, high school girl appeared from somewhere in the back and took her place behind a cash register. "May I help you?"

Kenshin told her what he wanted. She gave him instructions on how to get a marriage license and where the nearest place he could get one was and charged him twelve thousand, one hundred and forty-five yen in advanced for the ceremony.

When he returned to the car, Kaoru was reading a book called Hematopathology. "Time to get the license," he said. "But it should only take a few minutes."

She nodded, seemingly immersed in her studies.

He came around the car and drove to the nearest courthouse, where he had her go with him. No blood test or birth certificates required, only one form of picture ID. They both flashed their driver's licenses and were back at the chapel in twenty minutes.

"I'll get your clothes," he said, popping the trunk as they got out of the car.

"There's really no need to change is there?" Kaoru asked, standing on the curb. "I mean, no one's even here to see us. If I don't wear it I can take the dress back and save Misao some money."

"Come on. We should get a good picture for Yahiko. He deserves a souvenir, that he does. And I'm sure Misao wanted you to wear that dress or she wouldn't have bought it."

"I don't think Misao understands what's really going on here, even though I've tried to explain it to her." She muttered, but she dutifully took her hang-up bag and small suitcase into the changing room with her when they went inside.

Kenshin used another small room to change into his best suit and tie, then waited alone in what served as one of the actual "chapels." A small room with about ten fold-up chairs, it also had an abundance of dusty silk-flower arrangements and some candles and burning sticks of incense arranged symmetrically in front of a sort of shrine. Again Kenshin was flooded with memories; of the scent of fresh flowers mixed with the thick curling smoke of the hand rolled incense sticks. Again he felt guilt, glancing around at the fake, dusty flowers that had to be over ten years old. And the cheap drugstore type incense sticks that smelled more like burning wood than anything. The joke of a shrine had his lips turning downward.

A noise drew Kenshin's attention to the doorway, where he found Kaoru, looking as though she might bolt at any moment.

"You look…nice." He said, knowing it was a tremendous understatement, but trying to keep them on safe ground. She'd piled her dark hair loosely on top of her head, which revealed the delicate hairs that curled at the nape of her neck and accentuated the size and shape of her sapphire eyes. Her dress was sleeveless and sort of bone colored with a tailored bodice and a flared skirt that fell to midcaff. Nylons and strappy sandals finished off the ensemble. She'd quickly swiped on a touch of glossy, pink lipstick. She looked far different than the traditional figure Tomoe cut during their wedding but Kaoru was sexy as hell in her own way. But if he told her that, he might just pull her into his arms.

Hoping his expression didn't betray him, Kenshin motioned for her to come on into the room.

"Where's the minister?" she asked, hanging back.

"The girl out front said it's a woman. She should be here very soon."

Kaoru nodded, sighed, then wrung her hands.

He smiled and handed her the bouquet he'd bought her. "You seem nervous, that you do."

Her chin came up, but when she answered her voice was a little higher than normal. "I'm not nervous. Why would I be nervous?"

"Who knows what's going on inside that pretty head of yours. Why don't you tell me?" he flashed her a pleading smile.

She tugged at her lip with her teeth and moved closer to him, then looked over her shoulder once and lowered her voice. "I've just been wondering if…if you're going to kiss me. I mean, I think it might embarrass me if you let the minister know that you don't want to. But-" She swallowed "-I understand if you don't…want to."

Kenshin watched her in amazement. She didn't now how appealing she was. That if he were any other man…

"This is just a business deal and all that." She was saying. "You don't really like me, I mean in that way, but it wouldn't have to be a big kiss. Just a peck, so the minister doesn't know." Tears started to well in her eyes, but she blinked furiously and managed to hold them back. "I didn't think any of this would bother me, but now that I have this dress on and I'm holding these flowers, I feel kinda like a real bride, you know?"

"I was going to kiss you." Kenshin said gently, feeling sad for her predicament.

"Right." Her cheeks went pink and she nodded. "Okay."

… . . …

Kaoru cringed inside. Her and her big mouth. She'd already made a fool of herself once today, when she'd started that war with her uncle. She just didn't know when to quit, did she?

Avoiding Kenshin's curious gaze, she stared down at the perfect white roses in her bouquet, then smoothed the skirt of her dress, wishing the minister would hurry. She wanted to put this day behind her, get back home. But there was another wedding party next door, a happy, large crowd but then finally the minister walked in. She was a large, happy looking older woman in black robes. She introduced herself to them and promptly took her place in front of the shrine.

"Are we all set? Who's going to be our witnesses?"

Kaoru glanced around, a sudden depression washed over her at the sight of the empty room. She shook it away and glanced at Kenshin. She hadn't thought about witnesses other than her uncle.

"I paid for that service to be performed for us." He assured her and the minister.

"Fine." The older lady said and she disappeared behind a door and spoke to someone. A minute later she returned with a man and woman. Staff members.

"Now we're ready. They will be your witnesses. Shall we get started?" The two employees seated themselves in the folding chairs and the minister cleared her throat. "We are gathered here today…"

It was the customary western style wedding, the one most people could recite from heart and yet the words stood out, having more clarity, more meaning to Kaoru than ever before. She was making a vow to love and cherish Himura Kenshin, and he was making a vow to do the same to her. Yet they didn't mean a word of it. They were planning on getting a divorce in nine months. Kaoru's stomach knotted. Had they thought this through carefully enough? What if he left the cap off the toothpaste? What if he expected her to do his laundry? What if he stayed out late and came home reeking of another woman's perfume? Wouldn't that bother her even though it wasn't suppose to?

The minister was looking at her, waiting for her to respond, but when Kaoru opened her mouth, nothing came out. Kenshin didn't want her, he wanted a baby and he had a way of getting one that didn't involve the intimacy most people shared in marriage. For a moment, she had a hard time remembering why she'd agreed to take this vow in the first place. Yahiko would get better. He wouldn't die…

Kenshin touched her elbow. She could feel the force of his will compelling her to respond and finally the words came.

"I do."

"You may now place the ring on your bride's finger."

Kaoru felt a circle of cool metal slide onto her finger and she looked down, expecting the slim gold band she'd seen at the jewelry store. Instead she saw the rock-sized pear-shaped diamond. Her gaze flew to Kenshin's face. The smile she saw there shot warmth through her whole body. She'd told him he couldn't come to the birth, but he'd brought her the ring anyway.

_Oh, God._ She was going to be hurt, completely devastated when he walked away… "Why did you do it?" She asked, amazed.

He shrugged. "It looks good on you, that it does."

"You may kiss the bride." The minister said.

Time seemed to stand still as Kenshin pulled her into the circle of his arms and bent his head towards hers. She could smell the wintergreen on his breath and felt the most incredible thrill of anticipation, as if she'd been waiting for this since the first moment they'd met.

But with Yahiko sick, she couldn't afford to love Kenshin too.

Ignoring the ripple of his powerful shoulders beneath her hands, and how badly she hungered for a real kiss, she went for the safe thing instead. Closing the last inch of distance between them, she brushed her lips quickly across his and jerked away.

He stiffened in surprise and for a moment, Kaoru thought he was going to pull her back and kiss her right. But then the minister said. "I now pronounce you husband and wife." And the moment was gone.

… . . …

"What would you like?" Kenshin stared across the table at Kaoru, who appeared to be having trouble concentrating on her menu. Her gaze kept straying to the ring he'd given her, then to his face then back to the words on the menu.

"Um-" She glanced at her ring again. "-I'll have the salad."

He cocked an eyebrow at her. In his peripheral vision he could see the waitress approaching "Which one?"

"The Cobb salad."

"We're at a steak and seafood place. You sure you don't want scampi or lobster or something?"

She sighed. "I'm not very hungry. I just want to get back."

"Our plane doesn't leave for another two hours."

"I know"

"You might as well eat something and try to enjoy yourself."

"Okay." She glanced up at the waitress, who was already waiting, pad in hand. "I'll have the filet mignon."

"How would you like that cooked?"

"Medium well."

They went through the usual questions…soup or salad, choice of dressing, choice of drink, choice of dinner bread. Kenshin ordered a surf and turf, lobster with steak. He handed over the menus and turned his attention to Kaoru. "My partner Sanosuke and I went in to be tested as a marrow donor for Yahiko yesterday morning." He said. "Did they tell you?"

"No, have you received the results?"

Kenshin nodded. "I called while you were changing, hoping to give you some good news." He shook his head. "No match. I'm sorry, that I am."

For a moment her eyes grew bleak. After everything the nurse had told him yesterday about how hard it was for find a donor, Kenshin knew why. But in a flash the look was gone and the mask returned to her face.

"That's okay." She said. "Unless it's a blood relation, the chances are pretty slim of it being someone I know. Thanks for being tested though."

She played with the rim of her water glass, and the diamond on her finder twinkled in the sunlight filtering in through the window. "Why did you by me this ring?" she asked suddenly. "It's not very practical, considering we're only going to be married nine months."

Why had he bought her the ring? Because she'd decided to go through with the pregnancy even though she didn't have to. Because of the sacrifices she was willing to make. Because Yahiko might not make it despite any operation. And most of all because it was all he could give her. He was in love with his dead wife and couldn't plug the emotional holes in Kaoru's life, even though there were times he wished he could. Like when he visited Yahiko, or when he saw Kaoru trembling with hurt and disappointment in her uncle's living room. Or when she stood before him in her wedding dress, ready to trust him enough to marry him, looking more beautiful than he could have imagined.

Only he didn't want to talk about any of those reasons. So he chose to rile her temper instead.

"Maybe I was hoping it would make you relent and include me in the birth." He said.

Her eyes narrowed. "That's what I was wondering."

"So did it work? What are my chances?"

"Next to nil. Does that me you want the ring back?"

"No."

"And after the nine months are over?"

"It's yours. You can have the diamond reset if you want."

"Are you giving me this so I have something to remember you by?"

He shrugged his shoulders, wishing he was more impervious to the earnest look on her face. She really was beautiful, in an uncommon elegant sort of way. "I don't know, the money went to Yahiko. I felt you deserved something too. You can sell it if you want."

She looked out the window to the busy street outside. "I'm sorry I didn't get _you_ a ring. But I don't have any money, and you'll have plenty to remember me by anyways, right?"

He knew she meant the baby, but he didn't want her to think about that. Not today. He grinned, purple eyes flashing. "You mean the bill?"

She smiled faintly and was silent for a moment. "Are you still planning on moving in?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"Tomorrow."

Their food came. Kaoru didn't say anything until the waitress had delivered their plates and walked away. "There's no hurry, right?" she said then. "I mean, why don't you wait until after finals to move in. I'll be under a lot of pressure until then and-"

"Chicken." He accused in a low voice. "That's an excuse."

Her bright eyes went wide. "What do you mean?"

"You're scared, that you are." He leveled his gaze, catching her eyes, from under the fringe of red bangs.

"Of what?" she sat back; shocked at the look he was giving her. It unnerved her to see his eyes watching her behind the red strands.

"If that sorry excuse for a kiss you gave me and the chapel means anything, you're scared of me." His smile flashed, shark-like.

Her jaw dropped. "No, I'm not! It's just that I put you under a lot of pressure about that kiss, and I didn't want to make you feel like…I don't know…like it had to be a bigger deal than what it was. It was nothing to worry about, just a quick peck-"

"Any quicker and I would have missed it altogether. But I wasn't the one who was worried about it in the first place." His smile turned arrogant.

"Well, it's over with now. There's no use even talking about it." She went back to her food, prepared to drop it.

He waited until she glanced up at him, he grinned again. "I'll probably never mention it again if I could move in tomorrow."

Kaoru paused. "And if you can't?"

"You might never hear the end of it."

She stabbed a bite of meat with her fork and shoved it in her mouth. "Not that you'll be around for long…but have it your way." She grumbled and Kenshin nearly laughed out loud.

… . . …

"Thanks for the…wedding and everything." Kaoru said, hopping out of Kenshin's car almost as soon as he pulled into her driveway. He wondered if she thought he was going to force his way in and somehow convince her to let him stay the night or something. But it was too inconsistent with the other things she had said and done that day, such as how she'd behaved about the kiss. She didn't know she stirred anything in him. And it was better that way.

She probably just wanted to be alone. They'd already stopped by the hospital and presented Yahiko with a bunch of balloons and the Polaroid pictures taken by one of the witnesses at the chapel. The poor kid had gotten up so early and was up all that day so he could hardly keep his eyes open despite the excitement. Another round of chemotherapy and radiation had taken their tool as well, and when he fell asleep only minutes after they arrived, Kenshin talked Kaoru into letting him drive her home. It had been a big day for everyone.

Well it wouldn't take long to see Kaoru safely inside. He put the car in Park and cut the engine. "At least let me walk you to the front door."

"That's okay, I'm sure I can make it." She replied automatically.

Ignoring her, he popped the trunk, retrieved her luggage and carried it to the house. She unlocked the door and they both went inside. He delivered her suitcase to her room, noting the neatly made bed with the thick goose-down comforter and the orderly dresser top, on which sat a jewelry box and pictures of Yahiko. Curious to know what Saitou looked like, he glanced through all the photographs and poked his head into all the other rooms on his way out to look for a photo that might show Kaoru's ex, but couldn't find any.

He came down the hall wondering how Kaoru had managed to erase him from her life so completely. Had she ever really been in love with Saitou? "There's no boogiemen hiding in the closets." He said when he saw her. "I checked."

"Thanks, I'll rest a lot easier knowing that."

He grinned at her sarcasm, aiming to soften her up. His smile grew as he saw the slight curl or her lips. She really was too responsive for her own good. It made it very difficult to keep people at arm's distance.

"It's only ten o'clock," she said. "I guess we may as well finish off our wedding day with a few minutes of conversation and a cup of tea. I have a particularly good blend that one of my professors gave me when she heard about Yahiko. Any interest?"

He opened his mouth to respond but she cut him off. "And I'm warning you, if you say anything about the caffeine being bad for the baby, you'll go home right away and you won't be allowed back here for weeks, perhaps months."

Chuckling, he raised his hand like a pledge. "I won't say a word about the caffeine, that I won't"

"Good, then I won't have to kill you and plant you in the backyard."

She really had a sexy smile, he though, not quite a dimple, but close, and lots of teeth. Even and white.

"I'm not pregnant yet." She was saying. "I may as well enjoy my last cup."

"So you're going to give it up?" He asked. Kaoru growled at him, but he just laughed and followed her into the kitchen.

He took a seat at the table while she set a kettle on the stove. Thanks to the food he bought for her, she had some poppy seed muffins in her cupboard. He was about to suggest they have one when she reached up to get them herself. Her sweater lifted to reveal a section of creamy skin on her midriff; her narrow skirt hugged her trim behind.

Shaking his head, Kenshin let his breath glide silently through his teeth and pulled his gaze away. It had been a long time since he'd looked at a woman like that. Must have something to do with the wedding. A preacher pronounced them man and wife and suddenly he feels he has a right. But they weren't serious when they took those vows. He had to remember that.

"Hardly what you'd expect on your wedding night," she mused, setting a plate in front of him, "but it's the best I can do."

Not if she set her mind on giving him something better, he thought, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. He shouldn't have come in. He'd been enjoying her quick wit, admiring her beauty, taking in that musky scent of her all day. But his libido had defiantly shifted into high gear since they made it home. It had to be the expectations associated with a wedding night. The sudden and complete privacy. The frustration of missing her lips as they passed quickly over his during the ceremony. She'd been so close he could almost taste her, then she was gone.

"You're being very quiet." Kaoru cocked her head to the side. "What are you thinking about?"

Kenshin rubbed the back of his neck and took another deep breath. _About eighteen months of celibacy and how long it suddenly seems. _"Nothing."

She put her hand on her hip and turned to face him fully, the kettle started to steam behind her. "I think you're getting tired."

He wished he was. "Did you really love Saitou when you married him?" he asked.

She laughed. "Of course."

"Where are all of his pictures?"

"Right after he left I gouged out the eyes and then burned them. The one's of us anyways. I saved the ones with Yahiko, I figure maybe someday he would forgive him for abandoning us and may want them when he's older."

"But you won't, forgive him I mean."

She shrugged. "Maybe I will, when life gets easier. I don't feel ready to tackle that right now. And I don't think he cares much either way."

"Tell me how you met him."

Kaoru leaned against the cabinets. "Saitou is the last thing I want to talk about. Besides, you know my whole life history remember? Even the skeletons in my closet. Which gives you a distinct advantage.

"Why? Because you don't have any dirt on me?" he stretched his legs out in front of him and crossed his arms, enjoying the smell of the tea as it steeped. He knew she felt embarrassed about the night she slept with that stranger, but it was nothing compared to some of his exploits. "What would you like to hear about? The drinking? The fights? The women?"

Kaoru turned to take the kettle off the stove and poured them both a cup "Definitely not your sexual escapades."

"Don't worry. I was never like Saitou. I had my share of women, but they liked it just as light and easy as I did. I never made promises I couldn't keep and I never left anyone in the lurch, that I did not."

"Okay then, tell me about the fights. Were any of them very serious?"

"Not really. My older brother was small for his age and had to wear thick glasses to see the chalkboard. The other guys used to pick on him. I thought it was my duty to make the harassment stop."

"So you fought older boys?" Kaoru blinked in surprise as she stirred in a carefully measured spoon of sugar in each cup.

He ran a hand through his hair, not caring that it was starting to fall apart from its tie. He chuckled, "Probably once a week. I was always getting suspended from school. And not only were they guys I fought a couple years older, they were a whole hell of a lot meaner. They mostly kicked my ass."

"How did it stop?"

"I finally learned how to fight." He smiled.

Kaoru felt her lips curl upward. "Any scars."

"A few."

"Where?"

He lifted his shirt to show here were some drunk had cut him with a beer bottle on his left pectoral.

She surprised him by blushing, as though the sight of his bare chest embarrassed her.

"Ow." She finally muttered. "You got that when you were just a boy?"

"No I got this when I was twenty, in a bar fight, but it didn't hurt much at the time. I was too angry at the time."

Kaoru arched a delicate eyebrow. "I take it he regretted the decision to go after you?"

"I hope so." He said, touching the pale raised flesh. "I know I regretted mine, that I did."

She laughed, her eyes lingering on his chest for a moment longer. "You don't seem so reckless now, what reformed you?"

"I met Tomoe."

"Oh" Kaoru tore her eyes from Kenshin. "That's a testimony to the power of a good woman I guess."

"Yeah."

She brought a little jar of honey to the table and the two small tea cups. She then transferred the tea from the kettle to a more fashionable china teapot. She set the pot on a tray and carried it to the table. She poured Kenshin his tea. "Tell me about your brother. Does he live around here?"

Evidently she didn't want to talk about Tomoe anymore than he did. Except that it helped to act as a barrier between them, stopped his body and the chemistry between them from taking over. "He's married now, lives up north. My sister lives near here and my parents live down south where it's a little warmer."

Kaoru's spoon clinked against the small palm sized teacup as she added enough honey to turn the tea into syrup, but her eyes slanted up at him as she listened.

"They travel a lot between there and my brother's home."

"Are they coming here soon?"

"Yeah, now that it's warmer, their trip will start, they should be here next week, just in time to hear that we eloped. I'm going to tell my whole family at once and get it over with all at once, that I am."

"And what are you going to say about the baby?"

He set his spoon on the table, wanting to choose his words carefully. "As you know, our marriage solves lots of problems."

"And that's one of them, because it puts the horse before the carriage."

"Right. They've been bugging me to move on and get married again."

Kaoru licked her lips as something shot to the front of her mind. "So you're going to let them believe you tried. What, are you planning to tell them that I ran off and left you with the baby or something?"

Kenshin didn't answer.

"Well?"

He felt what could only be guilt stomp through his heart like a construction worker with big muddy boots. "Something like that."

She frowned, staring down into her cup, and he had the urge to lift her chin and tell her everything would be okay. But he couldn't make that promise. He wasn't feeling to sure of himself, so he kept his distance.

"That'll make me look good." She muttered. Not that it mattered; the truth wouldn't look any better.

He studied her reflection in the light that bounced off the window and the darkness beyond. "I'm sorry, Kaoru, but the truth would be worse." He said, almost as if reading her thoughts. "Especially for the baby right? We've already talked about this, or about most of this." He hadn't specifically mentioned his parents before. Maybe that was one of the ramifications she hadn't thought about. He guessed there'd be aspects of their deal that would surprise him too. His desire to slip his hands under Kaoru's sweater was one of them.

"I know." She sighed and finished stirring her tea, and twirled a finger in the wisps of hair that had fallen free from the mass of curls on top of her head. "Yahiko will have his operation. That's what matters. I can't forget that."

She spoke more to herself, so he didn't answer. Toying with the sugar, he took the conversation in a different direction altogether. "What made you go home with him?"

"Who?"

"The guy from the club."

Kaoru grimaced. "I don't know. I was drunk, but I can't really use that excuse. I went to the club planning on going home with someone. I think I was trying to convince myself that I wasn't so unappealing, you know? My husband had just left me for a girl still in highschool. I wanted to make sure I could attract a man."

Attract a man! If he still wasn't feeling for Tomoe, if he had any less restraint…"You could have had them standing in line," he said. "Why did you choose him?"

Kaoru shrugged. "He'd come on to me a lot. He was convenient. And I wasn't about to risk rejection." She took a sip of her tea. "I never knew how badly I'd regret it, though. I realized that I'm not cut out for meaningless sex. I just didn't want to be alone. You probably know as well as anyone, but after you've been married-even if it's not a great marriage, like mine- it's hard to be alone."

He focused on his own cup, finished his tea and muffin, and crossed the room to set his dishes in the sink. He could make it so she wasn't alone anymore, at least for tonight. There was nothing to stop him. Except his conscience. And probably, hopefully, her. "Loneliness makes people do crazy things."

"Yeah, like having a baby with a stranger." She gave him a weak smile from the table.

_Or taking more from another person than one has a right to take._ She was already giving him his baby, he had no right to hope for more.

Marshaling his self-control, he turned and smiled. 'Thanks for the coffee. I'll see you tomorrow."

She finished her own cup and only half the muffin and set her dishes on the counter and followed him out. "Good night."

He reached for the doorknob, hating the thought of going home to his empty bed and cold sheets, when a knock sounded on the opposite side. Surprised, he dropped his hand and glanced at his watch, wondering who would be showing up at Kaoru's doorstep at nearly eleven o' clock

The voice that came through the panel explained everything. "Kaoru, it's your uncle. I know this is probably isn't a good time to barge in, but I haven't been able to stop thinking about earlier. I'm sorry I missed the wedding, I think we should talk, dear, don't you?"

* * *

A/n Hmm this chapter was a tad longer than the others. But what a terrible place to end it! Arg. Now Kenshin and Kaoru have to pretend it's their wedding night in front of Gensai. Uh-oh. I hope there wasn't too many editing mistakes in this chapter, as I'm super tired and I have a rough time catching my own mistakes anyways.  
Oh! I have a poll on my profile page regarding RK fics.. Please take the poll and let me know what parings I should write in my next series of fics. Please oh please. Thanks for reading and reviews are most loved!


	11. The Wedding Night

a/n Hi Everyone! I could leave you with that cliff for too long. I think I've gotten into the habit of updating every week with this story. Which is good for you, bad for my other stories lol.  
Emumoon – Gensai does live out of town. Remember Kenshin and Kaoru had to fly to where he lived. So that means Gensai jumped on a plane to visit them to make up with Kaoru.

I do feel bad for Kaoru, about the iffy wedding and how she worried about the kiss. Well, enough of my talking and back to the story.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

* * *

Kaoru's heart lodged in her throat. She stared at Kenshin. He was leaving and it wasn't even midnight on their _wedding night_! How would that look? He couldn't go. Her uncle would know something was wrong right away.

"Go get in my bed." She whispered. "And take off your shirt or pull the blankets up to your neck or something."

He paused. "What about you? If this were a real marriage, you wouldn't be dressed either."

She glanced down. She was wearing he same outfit she had on when they'd visited her uncle. That would definitely appear strange. "Hurry," she said as they both dashed down the hall.

Kenshin peeled off his shirt. His shoes thumped on her bedroom floor almost at the same time he landed on her bed. Kaoru ducked into the privacy of her closet, stripped and pulled on her thigh-length summer bathrobe.

The pounding outside continued. "Please, Kaoru. I know it's your wedding night, but I have to talk to you." Her uncle's muffled voice called from outside.

"Coming," she hollered, forgetting to sound the least bit tired. "Damn!" she cursed to herself. "He's going to know. He _can't_ know."

She headed out of the room, but Kenshin called her back. Meeting her halfway, he pulled the pins from her hair and ran his fingers through it, purposely messing it up. "That's more like it," he said with a wicked grin. "I'm not so tame that your fancy hairdo would have survived, that I am not."

Kaoru didn't have time to respond. She darted down the hall just about the time her uncle found the key under the mat and started letting himself in. Slowing to a walk, she tried to look sleep-tousled, which was difficult with so much caffeine and adrenaline pumping through her body.

"Uncle Gensai?" She asked as if she hadn't known it was him from the first knock.

Her uncle entered the living room caring a suitcase half as big as he was. How long did he plan to stay?

"I had to come." He said simply, setting his luggage down in the middle of the floor. "I'm sorry, Kaoru. I've done a lot of thinking today and…and you're right. I haven't been there for you like I should have been. I was hiding from reality, closing my eyes and hoping Yahiko's cancer would go away." His voice quivered with tears. "I'm getting old Kaoru, and I just can't face another tragedy-not when it means we might lose Yahiko. He's the last that carries the Kamiya name."

"Oh Uncle Gensai." Kaoru embraced him. "I'm sorry too. You were probably doing the best you could. I just don't have any reserves right now. And you _have_ helped me a great deal, in many ways."

The old man sniffed and passed a wrinkled hand over his wet eyes. "Don't worry about the money I paid for your rent. That's not the issue here. I'm your only family and that's what family is for. I'm just glad I had it to send. Besides, now that you have a husband to help you, we won't have to worry about that anymore."

Another ramification of her bogus marriage. Kaoru couldn't help but wonder how many more there would be. But she didn't want her uncle's help anymore anyways. Almost from the day she turned eighteen and got out of high school, she had taken care of herself and liked it that way. After school was out, she'd been able to continue with her medical transcription, in Yahiko's hospital room if necessary, and make enough to squeak by. Several of her old clients were already calling to see when she'd be able to start again. Her med school work made her particularly good at deciphering the names of drugs and details of treatment.

"Where's Kenshin?" Her uncle asked. "I feel terrible dropping in on you like this."

"He doesn't mind. He's already asleep."

"Uncle Gensai, is that you?" Kenshin came padding down the hall, wearing one of Kaoru's robes, which was stretched taut across his wide shoulders. The ends couldn't meet until it reached his waist, and judging from the muscled calves extending below the purple fuzzy fabric, he had on little else.

Kaoru blinked at him in surprise. "I was just telling my uncle that you were asleep. There's no need to wake up, _dear_. You can talk to him in the morning."

"Wouldn't want him to think I'm antisocial." He said, giving the doctor a bow and then a hug. "I'm glad you came uncle. Is this your luggage? Do you want me to take it into the spare room?"

"If you don't mind me staying for a few days."

Only Kaoru would have notice the slight hesitation before Kenshin's response. "Of course not. We don't mind, do we honey?"

Kaoru forced a smile. "Of course not."

"Did you hear that?" her uncle whispered and he visibly fought tears as Kenshin picked up his suitcase. "He called me his uncle…twice!"

"That's what you asked him to call you." Kaoru mumbled. "Don't take it personally."

"What?" her uncle asked.

"I said he's very personable."

"Oh." The puzzled look oh his face cleared. "I'm so glad you've found him, he seems wonderful Kaoru, just perfect for you."

_That's unfortunate,_ Kaoru thought. _Because he might not make it until morning. At least not if I'm strong enough to strangle him._

"You've got to be tired uncle Gensai. It's late. Why don't you turn in? We can talk in the morning."

"I am tired," Gensai admitted. "And I want to get up early to see Yahiko."

Kaoru gave her uncle another quick hug. "Thanks for coming; it means a lot to me."

Her uncle followed Kenshin into the guest room. Their voices were too low for Kaoru to hear what they were saying, but she didn't move any closer. She didn't _want_ to know. She stood in the living room, staring at nothing, waiting for the house to fall quiet. Then she crept back down the hall to find Kenshin sitting on the corner of her bed.

"What now?" He whispered when she'd closed the door.

"What now?" She echoed, propping her hands on her hips so she could glare at him properly. "What do you think you were doing calling him Uncle?"

"He just told me to. I was trying to play the part, make it believable, that I was."

"There wasn't any need for you to say anything. I had it all under control."

"I didn't want him to think I resented him coming here. He'd think you married a jerk."

"So what? You're leaving in nine months!"

"Why make enemies if I don't have to?"

"Why not? You're going to tell your family that I ran out on you and our baby. Nothing could make me look worse!"

But you'll be gone by then, and you'll never have to see them again."

"That's supposed to make me feel better? You'll never see my uncle again."

He scowled. "Yes…no. I don't know. I didn't really take the time to analyze it. "I just think it's worth the extra effort to make thing pleasant while we're together. Is there anything wrong with that?"

"No." Kaoru closed her eyes and took a calming breath. It wasn't as though Kenshin had committed the unpardonable sin. He'd been a little overzealous, that's all. She just had a hard time with the deception, especially where her uncle was concerned. By nature, she was honest and forthright, an open book.

But if she divulged what they were really doing, her uncle would try and talk her out of it, or worse, give her the go-ahead and then feel partially responsible for the decision. The lie spared Gensai that. It was actually a kindness. And, like Kenshin had said, there wasn't any reason things had to be unpleasant.

"I guess I'm just tired." She said. She look at the fuzzy bathrobe he was wearing and started to laugh.

He followed her gaze. "It was all I could find, that it was" he said defensively.

"Which was probably your first clue that you should have stayed in bed."

"I think we've already established that. The question is, what do we do now? I mean, your uncle is going to find it strange if I go home tonight."

"Which is exactly why you're not going anywhere."

He eyed the bed. "Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"

"I'm not suggesting anything. This sham of a marriage was your idea, and now we're stuck, so play your part, as you put it, and get into bed, _hubby_."

He rubbed his lip with one finger. "I don't know if that's a good idea. I might…forget myself."

"Oh, no, you won't. Because then I'd call the whole thing off." Kaoru stomped into the closet to change. She thought of donning the frumpy old nightgown he'd seen before. It was hanging on a hook only inches away from her and would probably go far toward keeping him from "forgetting himself," but she couldn't bear to wear that tonight. It was a matter of feminine pride. Why couldn't he suffer a little more as well?

Grabbing the ivory-colored silk pajamas she'd gotten at her bridal shower when she'd married Saitou, she pulled them on instead then came out and flipped off the light. "What are you wearing under that robe?" she asked. "Anything?"

He was still sitting on the bed, his arms on his knees. "A pair of boxers."

"That's close to a pair of shorts anyway. You can sleep in those or in your pants." She shrugged. "Heck, you can even sleep in that gorgeous robe, if you want." She climbed in on the right side of the bed, leaving plenty of room for him on the other side. Burrowing beneath the blankets, she adjusted her pillows, rolled onto her side and closed her eyes.

"You're going to trust me that easily?" Kenshin asked.

She kept her eyes closed, trying not to think of that mane of red hair. "You can sleep on the floor if you want."

He hesitated and Kaoru finally leaned up on one elbow. "Look, I know you won't try anything. If you were interested in sex, you wouldn't have cooked up this whole artificial insemination scheme."

A muscle in his cheek tightened. "I think you're assuming too much."

"You still want the baby right?"

"Of course."

"Then you won't do anything to jeopardize our agreement." He already gave her the money and she already paid for Yahiko operation, so he couldn't hold the money over her head anymore.

His purple eyes ran over her, then moved quickly away. She imagined it was because she looked a mess after what he'd done to her hair. "Right."

"Fine. Good night." she lay back and closed her eyes again.

After a few minutes, she heard Kenshin strip out of the robe. Then the bed creaked as he stretched out beside her, lying on top of the blankets.

_Suit yourself_, she thought, begging sleep to come and carry her away. But something told her it was going to be a very long night.

… . . …

Kaoru couldn't turn over. At least she couldn't turn over and take the blankets with her. Something was tangled in them. Refusing to open her eyes for fear she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep if she did, she fisted her hands in the blankets and pulled. Hard.

They didn't give an inch. _Damn!_ And she was cold!

Reaching out to get a better grip, she encountered something big and warm and…she quickly pulled her hands away as memory flooded her, bringing her instantly awake. Kenshin was in her bed. The covers wouldn't budge because he was sleeping on them, and taking up far more than his share of room.

Pressed to the very edge of the mattress, she made a noise of impatience, but he didn't stir. She leaned up to see if there was possibly more room on the other side of him, but he seemed to have settled himself right in the middle.

"Of course." She muttered, lying on her back and staring up at the ceiling. At least he didn't snore. Saitou had made enough racket to rattle the walls and used to keep her awake for hours. She'd try to race him to sleep, hoping to slip into oblivion before the snoring started. But at least with Saitou she hadn't had to worry about moving for fear she'd touch him. Feeling like she couldn't move made her fidget all the more.

Rolling on her side, she noticed how the moonlight peeked through the partially closed shades, highlighting Kenshin's silhouette as he slept, facing her. She could see his stubbled jaw, the couture of his cheek, and the thick dark lashes of one eye. He had beautiful eyes, she thought, the sexiest color she had ever seen. They changed from gentle, almost pastel lavender to the darkest and hardest of purple. She remembered how they lowered to her mouth as he'd bent his head to kiss her at the chapel and wondered what that kiss would have been like had she not taken matters into her own hands.

Would it have been the tentative, experimental. No. he was too confident for anything that weak. Possessive? If she were Tomoe, maybe. No, she'd guess Himura Kenshin's kiss would be gentle yet demanding. His lips would meet and mesh with hers, molding her mouth to his. He'd palm the back of her head and his fingers would dive into her hair as he parted his lips with his tongue to thrust inside. And she…oh, God, she'd melt. Her heart was racing just thinking about it.

"You're staring at my mouth."

Kaoru's gaze flew up and encountered Kenshin's eyes, now looking at her with something akin to amusement or curiosity or maybe both. She couldn't tell. It was too dark.

"You were snoring," she accused, hoping he couldn't see her blush.

"It's pretty tough to snore when you're not asleep"

"You were asleep."

"Not once you started wiggling around."

"Well, you were hogging the bed. What was I supposed to do?"

He lifted his head and looked around. "Oh, sorry." He slid over but didn't turn away.

"Where's all that bravo you went to bed with?" he asked.

"I don't know what you mean?" She tipped her chin up.

"You're hugging that foot of space like you think its home base, that you are."

"I just think you should stay on your own side."

"Or what?" A slow grin formed in the darkness.

"Or nothing. It's the polite thing to do."

"But I'm beginning to think you don't really want me to stay on my side. When a woman looks at a man's mouth like that, it usually means-"

"Nothing. It means nothing. I was just wondering how I was going to get all hundred and forty pounds of you off my blankets."

Not an easy feat, with Kaoru being hardly over a hundred pounds herself. "Because you want me beneath them?" His teeth glinted against the dark as he rolled off the bed and climbed under the covers. "All you had to do was ask."

And play by the light and easy rules he reserved for all women besides Tomoe? "I don't think I want to be having this conversation" Not when they were completely alone, with his bare chest gleaming in the silvery light. Its muscular contours and slightly highlighted scars were more tempting to her hands than chocolate sweets. She started to flounce over, but he caught her arm. Pausing at the contact, she looked up at his face, trying to see through the shadows. She then sucked her breath through her teeth when he let his fingers slide ever so lightly all the way down to her hand. Kaoru told her flesh not to tingle, but that was a lost cause. The butterflies in her stomach mutinied, as well.

"We could amend our deal if you want, that we could." He suggested, drawing back. "I've been thinking about it all night. Forget artificial insemination. We could do it the old fashioned way. We're married, after all, and it would be a lot more fun. As long as we both went into it with the understanding that-"

"No." she didn't want to hear the understanding. Somehow she knew it would be something quick and temporary. She already gave up so many sacred things to this man… "Our original deal has already changed into something much bigger than I ever dreamed. I think we'd be crazy to complicate the issue further by….by having sex. I know it's probably been a long time for you, and I'm sorry. A healthy man your age has a strong drive and you probably miss it a great deal, but-"

"Don't you miss it?" he asked, his eyes glinting in the moonlight, "Himura Kaoru?"

"I…that's not the point. I have other things to worry about, more important things than being selfish of my own wants."

He didn't say anything.

Kaoru tipped up her chin, "Good night." Kaoru turned away from him and curled up, feeling miserable and alone. He'd struck a nerve. She didn't miss Saitou, or sex for the sake of physical gratification. She missed the intimacy, unity, sharing her life with someone she loved. The first time she made the mistake of marrying a man who couldn't think of anything beyond the feeling of his own ego. But they had to care for Yahiko and she'd tried to make the most of it. Now that Saitou was gone, she wasn't going to sell herself short again. She wanted to fall in love, raise Yahiko, have children of her own. She didn't want a few nights of rolling in the hay, didn't want the memory of it when the time came for Kenshin to leave.

The bed squeaked as Kenshin rolled away from her. "Do you have enough covers?" He asked.

"Yeah, thanks."

"No problem."

"Did you ever get your sperm counted?"

"Yes, lots of great swimmers."

Kaoru would have expected nothing less. For a moment she was tempted to change her mind about letting him get her pregnant the old fashioned way. What did it matter? She was going to have his baby one way or the other. And she suspected that Kenshin was an incredible lover. If she gave in to the attraction she felt for him, perhaps she could let down the incredible load she was shouldering and lose herself in something tangible and real and exciting. Even if it was only temporary.

But she knew, with morning, reality would intrude. And her self-respect demanded she'd be able to look it squarely in the face.

… . . …

Kenshin looked tired and disagreeable. Wearing the same clothes he'd worn yesterday, he sat at the kitchen table drinking a cup of hot tea. He hadn't yet showered or shaved and his hair was a mess.

If they were really in love, Kaoru would have hugged him from behind or planted a kiss on his cheek. Instead she accepted a glass of orange juice from her uncle, who was making scrambled eggs. Kaoru gave Kenshin a polite smile and sat across from him at the table. "Good morning."

"Morning." He muttered.

"How did you sleep?" uncle Gensai asked from where he stood at the stove.

Had she slept? She and Kenshin had tossed and turned, waking each other up every few minutes. They kept as far apart as they could without actually falling off the bed, but somehow it wasn't far enough to allow ether of them to fully relax. Kaoru had spent the night smelling his aftershave, sensing the heat of his large body only a foot or two away and dreaming of the kiss she'd denied herself at the wedding.

"Like a log." She mumbled.

Kenshin cocked an eyebrow at her, and Kaoru nearly made a face at him, but she was afraid her uncle would see it.

"Will you eat some breakfast?" Gensai asked.

"Sure." With her uncle and Kenshin in the same room. Kaoru knew better than to refuse anything good for her health.

"Kenshin, Kaoru said you want children right away." Gensai spoke with his back to them. He was still in his white cotton robe and house slippers. "Do you want a big family?"

"I'll take as many children as Kaoru will give me." He replied, a smile slanting one side of his mouth.

Kaoru ignored him.

The old man stirred the eggs, scraping the pan across the burner. "I'm so glad the two of you met. After Saitou left, I was afraid Kaoru would marry on the rebound. That's what I feared had happened when she first told me about you. But now that I've met you, I think the two of you are perfect for each other."

Great, her uncle finally approved. She'd brought home at least a half a dozen men before she married Saitou, but Gensai had to like Kenshin. The toast popped up, so Kaoru got out of her seat to butter it.

"With Yahiko so sick," her uncle went on, "a new baby might just be the thing to…ease the pain."

Kaoru winced. A new baby she would never hold.

Kenshin didn't say anything. Looking a bit guilty, he downed the rest of his tea and shoved his cup out of the way when her uncle placed a plate of eggs in front of him.

"You're awfully quiet this morning, Kaoru. Must be all the excitement about the wedding." Her uncle said.

Kaoru carried the toast to the table. "Oh, yes. I'm still so excited I can hardly see straight." She threw Kenshin a face when her uncle turned to grab a second plate.

Her uncle smiled as he spooned eggs on the plate. "I love seeing you so happy."

* * *

a/n well the first night…kinda went okay. Hehe I can totally see Kaoru trying to yank the covers out from under Kenshin. Had to do that a few times myself. Next chapter…Good news! But what could it be? Kenshin's family? A real kiss? A baby? So many things that could happen! Thanks for voting in my poll everyone. It's still open (will be for a good while) so you can still vote if you haven't yet. Thanks for reading everyone! Reviews are much loved.


	12. The Good News

A/n Hi everyone! Hehe seems everyone enjoyed the not so romantic wedding night. Lots of great reviews made me one happy writer hehe.  
tweakinuears – Yahiko is six-ish in this story

No more talking, right on to the story! Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

* * *

Kaoru pinched the bridge of her nose and rubbed her eyes. It wasn't sinking in. she'd been trying to study since arriving at the hospital at eight, but the words were blurring together and seemed to bounce off her brain. _Superinfections: the overgrowth of Staphylocci, Pseudomonas or fungi_…The overgrowth of what?

Her uncle and Yahiko were just a few feet away, talking and laughing as they worked on the puzzle of some large dog. It felt good to see Yahiko enjoying his uncle. Kaoru wanted to close her pharmacology book and join them. She was too stressed, too tired, and too worried to absorb anything remotely difficult. But time was so short. If she could just hold on long enough to pass her finals, just ten more days…

She lifted the book again and took a deep breath and forced herself to keep reading. _The basic human T cell is a-_

"Ms. Kamiya" Dr. Forte stuck his head into the room, causing them all to look up.

"It's Mrs. Himura now," Gensai volunteered. "Kaoru got married yesterday."

The doctor raised his eyebrows. "That's wonderful news. Congratulations!"

Kaoru willed herself not to blush to the roots of her hair. "Thank you."

"Can I speak with you for a moment alone, please?' He asked.

A chill swept through Kaoru as she caught her uncle's eye. What now? Every new hope the doctors had held out for her over the past year had been crushed in its turn. When they first found the tumors in Yahiko's abdomen, they thought surgery would take care of the problem. The cancer spread to his spleen. They tried chemotherapy, hoping for a remission, but the disease only paused before marching on to his pancreas. Next came radiation and the discovery of more tumors, these on his liver. Another operation, more chemotherapy, more radiation. The result? Cancerous cells in his spinal fluid. Now they were facing a bone marrow transplant. If that didn't work, Kaoru knew they were at the very end of the line.

Gensai drew Yahiko's attention back to their puzzle Kaoru followed Dr. Forte out of the room and down the wide hall to a small cubicle that served as his office. Perching on the hard plastic chair, Kaoru clamped her hands together to keep them from shaking.

"I've got good news," He said, smiling as he took his own seat behind a small cluttered desk.

Kaoru relaxed, but only fractionally. With a child as sick as Yahiko, good news was always a relative term.

"We've found a donor."

A donor! Fresh hope too strong for the scars of the past experience to temper or jade, charged through Kaoru like a lightning bolt. They had a donor. At last. "That's wonderful!" She breathed. "How? Through the National Marrow Donor Program?"

"Actually, he's a local."

"I've been posting notes at school. Begging people to come over and be tested. It's probably a student at the University."

"Most likely, he's about the right age, twenty-one."

"What's his name?"

"Soujirou Seta."

A total stranger was going to help her save her brother. His generosity awed her. "I'm grateful to him." she said, knowing the words were hardly adequate. "When do you want to do the transplant?"

Footsteps padded down the hall outside. A man and woman glanced inside as they passed. The doctor stood and shut the door. "First we've got to up the chemotherapy and radiation treatments to kill all the cells in Yahiko's blood. That will take a few days."

Kaoru nodded. She knew about this. The treatments would destroy Yahiko's own marrow, but that couldn't be helped. Yahiko's body had to start over using the healthy stem cells-the blood cells that have matured in the bone marrow- he would receive from Mr. Soujirou. "Are you thinking of doing it next week?"

"Or shortly thereafter."

"And this donor, Mr. Soujirou, he matches all six antigens?"

The doctor looked faintly uncomfortable. "Actually he matches five of the six, but it's a minor mismatch."

"A _minor_ mismatch?"

"A technical term. It means there's hope for-"

"It means he's not a perfect match." Kaoru's heart sank. "It won't work." She said, shaking her head. "We have to put as many odds in Yahiko's favor as we possibly can. We have to keep looking for a donor."

"As you know, that's a lengthy process. We've narrowed the search to a handful of potential donors, but they still have to be contacted and scheduled to some in for further testing. Then we have to wait for the results to come back. And if we find a match, we have to fly them in; none of the potential donors are within three hundred miles from here." He frowned. "And we're running out of time."

Ice-cold fear blasted through Kaoru's veins. "The cancer is moving that fast?"

"I'm afraid so. His recent blood tests and x-rays have me concerned."

Kaoru squeezed her eyes shut. Her little brother. What she would do to save her little brother. If only there was something she could do!

"You're Yahiko's lawful guardian, I need your permission to proceed." The doctor was saying. He shoved a piece of paper full of fine print towards her. "You've already paid for the transplant, so that's no longer an issue." He consulted his day-planer. "Why don't we schedule it for a week from Tuesday?"

Kaoru stared at the paragraphs of legalese and the signature line below it. In order for the transplanted marrow to feel at home in Yahiko's body, the leukocyte antigens had to match as closely as possible. The closer the match, the less trouble Yahiko would have with the donation. Mainly, graft-rejection.

He could die from those complications. He could die while waiting for a better match. It was a decision no one should have to make. "Can I have tonight to think about it?" she asked. Before med school, she would have taken the doctor's advice and signed on the dotted line immediately. But she'd learned a lot in the past two years; she'd learned just how human and fallible doctors really were.

Even though he was probably frustrated that she wouldn't simply sign the release, the lines of Dr. Forte's face creased into a long-suffering smile. "Of course. Just let me know in the morning."

… . . …

"I love you, Yahiko." Kaoru said, staring down at her wonderful brother.

Though sleepy, the boy scrunched his face and grumbled. "I know Kaoru-chan."

"Don't leave me, okay kid?"

"I won't, and I'm not a kid." Yahiko's eyes drooped.

"Promise?"

"Yahiko made a quiet murmur of assent before his lids closed.

Kaoru rubbed the back of her brother's hand and let the tears gathering behind her eyes and slide down her cheeks. They were alone, and it was late. Her uncle had gone back to the house for the night. Kaoru guessed Kenshin was there by now as well. He'd called earlier to say his parents had arrived home a week early. He was going to go see them and his sibling, but she hadn't heard from him since.

She should probably call to keep up the charade of their new marriage, for uncle Gensai's sake, but after she'd talked to Dr. Forte, Kaoru didn't have it in her to do any acting. She was too busy trying to decide which of the options open to her would provide her brother with the best chance at life. She'd asked her uncle and Misao what they thought, but neither of them had been able to give her an answer. As a retired doctor, Gensai was able to understand the risks, but could not give her any idea what she should do. She was on her own with this. And all she wanted to do was sit and stare at her brother, memorize every detail of his face so she'd never forget, just incase she guessed wrong…

Saitou. For a moment, Kaoru's ex-husband crossed her mind, and she almost called him. He was like a father to Yahiko, more than a brother. He should be helping her make these kinds of decisions. But he wouldn't know what to tell her, anyway. She was grasping at straws, looking for an easier path.

"I thought I would find you here."

At the sound of Kenshin's voice, Kaoru wiped her cheeks on the sleeve of her cotton-knit top and turned to see him standing in the doorway, dressed casually in a pair of blue jeans and a t-shirt. Fortunately the lights were off, the room lit only by the glowing dials on the medial equipment along one side of the bed and a small night-light on the far wall. She doubted he'd be able to tell she'd been crying.

"How are your parents?" she managed to say, keeping her voice low so as to not wake Yahiko.

"Fine. They had a great time on their vacation. They want to meet you, that they do. I told the whole family we eloped this weekend."

She kept her face averted just in case he could see more than she thought. "I bet they loved that."

"They were more than a little surprised, but it was my brother and sister who were the most shocked" He chuckled. "They couldn't figure out why I never mentioned you when I had dinner with them a little over a week ago."

"I'm sure they're certain you've made a terrible mistake."

"I assured them that I haven't, that I did."

Kaoru had her own opinion about that, but she held her tongue. "Where did you tell them I was today?"

He settled himself in the seat on the other side of the bed. "Here. I explained about Yahiko. Otherwise, it would have seemed too odd that you weren't with me. Besides, the closer we stay to the truth, the better off we'll be." He nodded toward Yahiko. "How is he?"

Kaoru had to clear her throat before she could answer. "Fine." Hoping that he would tell her whatever he had to say and leave. Or maybe this visit was strictly about impressing her uncle. Well, Gensai had left the hospital. He could go home too, and get some sleep. Kaoru didn't have the energy to be civil to anyone, to deny the ache inside her that longed for someone to hold her. That longed for- _Forget it, Don't want. Don't feel. He loves the beautiful woman in the picture_.

"It's getting late." She said to stop his focused regard. "Aren't you tried?"

"Probably not as tired as you are. Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

"No. Did you move in today?"

"I didn't have time. I'll do it tomorrow. I did swing by my house to get my razor and clothes, so I can get ready for work in the morning, though."

"What are you going to do with your house while you're living with me?"

"Just lock it up. I don't want renters in there."

Kaoru glanced at her pile of books. She had a class in the morning and a lab in the afternoon, but she had no plans to attend either. She should have withdrawn from school when she had the chance. Now that she'd missed the deadline, she could only plead with her professors to give her an incomplete. But even if she managed to get them all to agree, an "I" would revert to an "F" if she couldn't finish her courses in three months. If she fell behind, she feared she'd never catch up. She was struggling as it was.

"Did you get some studying done?" Kenshin asked, his eyes watching her too closely.

"No."

"Did you and your uncle have another problem?"

"No."

He leaned forward, elbows on his knees. "Come on, Kaoru. Work with me here."

Twisting the ring he had given her, she watched the shadows play across his gentle, handsome face. "Just go home, Kenshin." She said quietly. She couldn't handle him, not now. There was just too much in her life right now, she didn't want to deal with the lie.

"Here's your rollaway, Mrs. Himura." A nurse pushed a fold-up cot across the floor and into the room.

Kaoru stood and Kenshin moved her chair to make room alongside Yahiko's bed.

"Is this your new husband?" The nurse asked. "Will you be staying here together?"

"This is Kenshin, Nurse Gallowai, but he was just on his way out."

"So you're all set for the night, then?" The middle-aged woman asked.

Kaoru nodded.

"Nice to meet you." Kenshin interjected, tipping his body into a bow. The nurse quickly gave him a bow in return.

"It's a pleasure to meet you." She replied. "We've been so excited here at the hospital about your good news."

"Thank you."

Kaoru didn't say anything until the nurse left. "Everyone is so happy for us." She echoed sarcastically. "My life is suddenly bright because you're a part of it."

Kenshin's manor cooled, his eyes narrowing. "So you want me to go?"

_Yes…no_. What Kaoru really wanted was to fling herself in his arms. He seemed so strong, so capable, and she was drowning. _Just hold me,_ she thought. _Let me feel your heart beating near mine; reassure me that I can survive this nightmare._

But she refused to be such a coward. She could face the tragedy in her life. She had no choice. Besides, his strength was an illusion. Men didn't stick when the going to tough. How many times had her mother and uncle told her that?

"Please." She said softly. She wasn't sure if it was a plea for him to go or stay, but when he walked out of the door, she wept.

… . . …

Kenshin went back to his own house that night. To hell with what Kaoru's uncle thought. To hell with Kaoru, for that matter. The past eighteen months had been difficult enough. He didn't need to complicate his life by inserting himself into her problem. He just wanted a baby. That was all.

After a quick trip to the bathroom to brush his teeth and braid his hair, Kenshin stripped down to his boxers and shrugged on a pair of grey sweatpants. He flipped on the TV in his bedroom and climbed into bed. Tonight there would be no sharing the covers, no tossing and turning, no sexual frustration. He'd watch the sports news, as he did every night, even though he hardly absorbed any of it. Then he'd go to sleep so he'd be rested for tomorrow. He had to pitch an ad campaign for a local restaurant chain that wanted a whole new image. They were looking at print, television and radio ads. It was an important account, and he's already wasted too much time thinking about Kaoru and Yahiko this weekend, not to mention putting on a show for the good old doctor.

The sportscaster came on and Kenshin turned up the volume. It was about the local pro baseball team.

The phone rang. Kenshin glanced at it, hoping it was Kaoru, then tried to squelch the though. Why would he want to hear from her? What did it matter if she'd treated him rudely at the hospital? That she wouldn't really kiss him at the ceremony or let him touch her last night? Theirs was a business arrangement. It was probably his parents or maybe his sister calling…_not likely at eleven o'clock._

Muting the TV, Kenshin snatched the phone off its cradle. "Hello?"

"Finally. Where have you been?"

Kenshin turned the volume back up, telling himself he wasn't disappointed that it was only Sano. "My parents got back today."

"Kenta and Yukimi made it home safe and sound huh?"

"Yeah, there settling in for another summer."

"You ready for Rikuto's Roost tomorrow? You got the storyboard done?"

"Not yet." In the background the sportscaster rambled on.

"What? We're suppose to be at Matin's office at Eleven!"

Matin Yoko owned Rikuto's Roost. Whether or not they got the account rested in his hands. "I'll be there."

"Man, we worked too hard to piss away opportunities like this one. Ever since you got that baby idea-"

"I said I'll be there. And I'll be ready."

"Tell me what you got."

Nothing, he had nothing. And instead of coming home and working tonight, as he should have done, he'd driven all the way to Primary Care Hospital to see Kaoru. "I said I'll be ready. I'm coming in early tomorrow."

"Shit. You don't even have the creative."

"It's been a busy weekend." And a lousy night.

"Right. You've been too busy marrying a woman you plan to divorce."

"Anything else?" Kenshin asked, cutting him off before he could go anywhere with the Kaoru issue. He had long started to ignore the sportscaster chatting in the background.

"Yes. I'm glad they found a donor for Kaoru's little brother."

There was a pause. "Run that by me again?"

I called the hospital today to see if I was a match. I've been wondering about the results ever since you dragged me down there."

Kenshin felt a moment of guilt for not passing on the news to Sano. "And?"

"They said I'm not, but they think they've found someone who is."

Kenshin jabbed the mute button again and sat up. They'd found a donor? Why hadn't Kaoru told him? "Who is it?" He asked in amazement.

"They didn't give me a name. I'm sure there's confidentiality issues involved. You didn't know?"

Kenshin didn't say anything. He was thinking about Kaoru and how she'd behaved tonight. If they found a donor, she should have been happy, hopeful. Something was wrong.

"Kenshin?"

"I have to go."

"What?"

"I said I gotta go. I'll see you at eleven."

"You're not coming into the office before that? You said you were coming early. What about the Roost?"

"I'll be there." Kenshin was already scrambling out of bed.

"Shit." Sanosuke cursed. "Kenshin-"

Kenshin paid him no attention. He hung up and raced to get his clothes back on.

… . . ….

Standing in the doorway of Yahiko's hospital room, Kenshin could see Kaoru sitting in a chair, leaning on Yahiko's bed, her chin in her hands. She was watching her brother, but at the sound of his entrance she turned, and despite the dim light, now that he knew what he was looking for, he could see she'd been crying.

His chest tightened as he witnessed the evidence of her pain and worry, and he nearly turned around and walked right out again. She deserved her privacy, deserved better. He had no right to intrude.

But he couldn't leave. He'd married her, hadn't he? And deep down, he wanted to stay, to help if he could. Kaoru and Yahiko needed him, and the connection made him feel human again Unfortunately, being human meant he felt pain as well as pleasure.

Kaoru dashed her hand across her face and sat up straight. "What are you doing back here? It's almost midnight."

He shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans and leaned against the doorjamb. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"That they found a donor."

She studied his face for a moment. "Because it's not your problem. It has nothing to do with the artificial insemination. Nothing to do with our deal." A ghost of a smile flitted across her delicate features. "And things have already become complicated enough." She added.

He knew she was talking about last night, when they'd shared her bed. It had been complicated. He'd wanted to feel her beneath him, pushing deep inside her, and there were moments he could have sworn she wanted the same thing.

But she was only lonely, he told himself. Her feelings had nothing to do with him in particular. And his own desire stemmed from the need to appease his body after eighteen months of celibacy. He still loved Tomoe, could never betray her by offering his heart, along with his body, to someone else. That would somehow lessen what they'd had, maybe make it disappear entirely, and too much of himself was still wrapped up in those years.

"If they found a donor, what's the problem?" he asked.

She pressed her lips together. "I have to make a decision."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Do you know anything about HLA typing?"

Kenshin moved into the room, sitting on the end of the cot the nurse hand brought in earlier. "No, but I know a med student who could probably explain it to me, that I do." He offered her a soft smile.

She leaned her head on one hand while drawing designs on the blanket with the finger of the other. "Well, transplant recipients and donors are matched by comparing human leukocyte antigens, or HLA typing.

He leaned back and stretched his legs in front of him, crossing them at the ankle and supporting his weight on his hands. "What is an antigen?"

"It's a protein molecule that exists on most cells of the body. Marking the cell as belonging."

"Okay. So the body's defense uses these protein molecules to recognize cells that should belong."

"Right. There are six HLA that are considered important for marrow matching-two A antigens, Two B antigens and two DR antigens. A perfect match is a donor who matches all six of Yahiko's antigens. The donor they found for Yahiko only matches five."

"So it's not a perfect match. But isn't six out of six hard to find?"

"Hard, yes, but not impossible. In order for the new immune system to work, it is important the HLA antigens match as closely as possible. The closer they match, the less problem Yahiko will have accepting the graft."

"Sounds like it would be very bad if he had problems, obviously." Kenshin sighed.

Kaoru stared down at her sleeping brother. Yahiko's profile was just visible in the dim light. "It is. Rejection happens when the immune system from the new marrow attacks what it feels is foreign. What it's really attacking though, is the cells of various organs. These attacks can cause rashes, diarrhea or jaundice. Or they can be far more severe."

"Then I'm sure we can find a better match. The nurse who drew my blood last week said there's a registry of over three million volunteers who are willing to donate bone marrow." It was hurting him to watch Kaoru watch her brother sleeping as if it was the last time she would see him.

"She was probably talking about the National Marrow Donor Program. The do have a lot of registered donors, but only thirty percent of them have been DR typed. An initial search of their registry has shown several possible candidates for Yahiko, but they're all on the other side of the country, some in other countries altogether, and it takes about two weeks to receive the DR-typing results once the donor has been contacted and agrees to participate. Even if the DR typing matches, the donor has to have counseling and a physical before the transplant can be scheduled."

Kaoru seemed to know a lot about this. Kenshin wondered how long she had to mull over these details while her brother lay in the hospital. He looked over at Yahiko, suddenly wishing he could trade places with him. "And Yahiko can't wait."

"Dr. Forte feels it's too big a risk to wait any longer. The mismatch is "minor" meaning the mismatch antigens look alike and are crossreactive, which is better than two antigens that are not at all alike, but…"

"But it's not six for six."

"Right." Kaoru cleared her throat, probably fighting the same despair he felt. "I have to decide whether to let them go ahead with the imperfect match or wait for a better one."

"When do they want to do the transplant?"

"A week from Tuesday."

Kenshin rubbed his chin without speaking. Kaoru watched him, looking small and vulnerable, as though she was staggering under the weight she shouldered.

"What would you do if he was your brother…or son?" She asked at last.

Closing his eyes, Kenshin ran his hand through his hair, forgetting that it was braided. He was remembering the night he had to make the toughest decision of his life. When Tomoe was in the hospital after the accident, the doctors had told him they could save his wife or their baby, but probably not both. He'd chosen Tomoe of course, but the guilt of having turned his back on his own child had never gone away. Probably never would. Some decisions just left and indelible mark on a person's life. Unfortunately for him, choosing Tomoe hadn't made the difference he'd wanted. He'd lost his wife and child both.

"I'd probably go ahead with the transplant." He said at last. He'd been tempted to take the easy way out, to tell her he couldn't say, that it was a decision only she could make. What if she took his advice and he was wrong-again? But like the night of Tomoe's accident, there were no guarantees either way. And Kaoru looked so alone, so lost and weary. He decided the only way to truly help her was to have the guts to answer her honestly. To stand up and help carry some of the responsibility, maybe even to give her someone else to blame if things went wrong, There'd been no one to do that for him. Just myriad faces smiling sympathetically _We're so sorry…such as tragedy…I know it's difficult, but you'll feel better with time…_

Now Kaoru was suffering the same kind of pain and confusion. Maybe he could give her something to cling to.

She nodded. "Okay, I think you're right."

"Come here." Kenshin suddenly stood and pulled the blankets back so they could both climb into the cot and lie down. It was the least he could do-to hold her and offer another soul who was hurting just as he was, the comfort of his body, the support of his understanding.

He thought she might resist. She had so much damn pride, and was so busy trying to do it all on her own. But the day's events had taken the fight out of her, had finally broke her. Still fully dressed except her shoes, Kaoru curled up in his arms as soon as he opened them to her and tucked her head into his shoulder.

"We'll get through this somehow, Kaoru, that we will." He whispered, kissing her forehead.

"We?" She whispered back.

"You're a married woman now, remember?" he teased.

Silence settled over the room for several minutes…then, "Kenshin?"

"Hmm?" he responded, feeling warm and sleepy and comfortable with Kaoru curled around him.

"You can come to the birth." She whispered.

He smiled into the darkness. Kaoru had one of he softest hearts he'd ever known. How could she have gotten herself involved with him when she already had so much on her plate? "We'll make that decision later," He said. She didn't answer. Slowly her breath evened out and eventually, she slept.

* * *

a/n Seems like things are starting to work out. Kenshin and Kaoru are getting closer together. Next chapter…more stress and Kenshin's family demands to see the new members of the family, poor Kaoru. I wonder how she'll take it. Thanks for reading! Reviews are loved!


	13. The Family

A/n Hi everyone! I got many great reviews, but again I have to say that this is a writing exercise I was talked into posting. I can't talk all the credit. Anyways… very important announcement on my profile page about my next few months here on . So please visit my profile and read my update. Enough of my talking! On to the story.

Declaimer. I have no creative responsibility to this story or it's characters.

* * *

"Onii-chan! Onii-chan!"

Kaoru blinked awake to see Yahiko sitting up in his bed, trying to gain Kenshin's attention. He was still asleep but was starting to stir as Kaoru reluctantly moved away from his larger body.

"Yahiko, What's wrong?" Kaoru asked. Her brother had another sore on the top of his lip, a side effect of the chemo, but he seemed to be in good spirits.

"My new big brother's here." He answered simply, as if Kenshin's presence was enough to start anyone's day off on the right foot.

Her brother's easy acceptance of a relative stranger still bothered Kaoru, but she knew it wasn't in Yahiko's nature to approach anything with caution or reserve. What happy six-year-old did? It was her job as his mother-figure to teach him those things, right?

"Yahiko, dear, you don't have to call Kenshin Onii-chan or big brother, you know. You can call him Kenshin, just like I do."

"But I want to call him Onii-chan. He's my big-brother, isn't he?" the boy set his face stubbornly, looking almost identical to Kaoru's stubborn set of her jaw.

"We, um…yes in a way, I guess that's true, but it's okay if you want to take a while to get to know him first. That's all I'm saying."

"Yahiko's nearly nonexistent eyebrows knit together above his swollen face, another side effect of the cancer drugs. He obviously didn't understand. But before Kaoru could explain more, Kenshin interrupted.

"He can call me Onii-chan, that he can." He said, sitting up and offering Yahiko a smile. "How are you today?"

Yahiko's grin was like the sun coming out from behind a cloud. He reached his arms out to him. "Good." He said, even though Kaoru knew Yahiko no longer knew what feeling good was like.

Careful not to upset the IV's, Kenshin moved to his bed, took him in his lap and gently rubbed his large hand over his bald head as if he was ruffling pretend hair.

"I think I need a wig." Yahiko said with a slight pout. He had refused them before, saying they were for girls. But every now and then the boy was self-conscious about losing his mop of spiky brown hair.

"We can still get you one." Kaoru offered. Knowing it was important for Yahiko to feel good about himself. She was sure he wanted to impress Kenshin, knowing that made Kaoru uncomfortable all over again. _Don't let him hurt him._

But Yahiko was happy for now, she told herself, and now might be all they had.

"I don't think I would like it if you had a wig." Kenshin said. "I couldn't tickle you with all that hair in the way." He ran his fingers over Yahiko's head and down his sides and Yahiko was giggling with abandon.

The nurse who came in to administer Yahiko's medication smiled at the sight. "Someone's happy this morning."

"This is my new big-brother!" Yahiko announced.

Kenshin grinned up at the nurse. His hair was standing up in wisps, locks escaping his braid during the night, but Kaoru resisted the urge to tuck them behind his ears. They'd slept with their bodies pressed close together, but she hadn't let her fingers seek the warm skin beneath his shirt, the toned muscles of his chest and arms, even though she'd awakened more than once and longed to do just that.

"What time is it?" Kenshin asked.

"Six-thirty," The nurse answered, bustling around the room.

He set Yahiko back on his bed while the nurse replaced and adjusted the IV's that would deliver another round of chemicals into Yahiko's bloodstream. "I've got to go. I have an important appointment at eleven, and I'm not even close to ready. I'm going to give poor Sano an ulcer."

"Sano?" Kaoru echoed.

"My partner, remember, Sanosuke."

She nodded but felt a flicker of disappointment at the thought of his leaving._ It's just a reaction to the stress. I have to concentrate on my conference with Dr. Forte_, she reminded herself. Somehow she had hoped Kenshin would be there with her when she met the doctor. She wanted him to talk with the doctor, get a feel for how much he thought she would trust his opinion. But that was silly. She was the one in med school. Yahiko was her brother. And Kenshin knew nothing about non-Hodgkin's lymphoma or its treatment.

"Thanks for last night," she said, walking him partway down the hall. "It was nice not to be alone."

With a glance around them, he stopped and took her elbow, turning her to face him. "The insemination is scheduled for Thursday morning," he said, "but I've been thinking that we should wait until after the transplant-"

"We'd have to wait until I ovulate again. That would take another month."

"I realize that. But you're going through so much right now, that you are. It doesn't make sense to add to your stress level."

She grinned. "Aren't you afraid I'll back out?"

Kenshin watched her for a moment. "You have that right. I'm not going to try and railroad you."

"I know."

"Except that you did say I could go to the birth, that you did." He added, giving her the sweetest smile Kaoru had ever seen. "Did you mean it?"

The thought of having Kenshin's baby caused Kaoru stomach to tingle, along with other, much more private areas of her body. What was happening to her? she wondered. She was falling for him, that was that, falling hard and asking for a whole new world of heartache. "I meant it."

His purple eyes warmed. "I'll call and reschedule the appointment, then."

Kaoru caught Kenshin's arm before he could go. "No, let's go through with it on Thursday." _While I still have the courage._ "It should only take an hour or so."

Kenshin raised his eyebrows. "You're sure?"

"I'm sure," She said. And for the first time since she'd met him, Kaoru decided that maybe she wouldn't give him up without a fight after all.

… . . …

Kenshin sat staring at the results of his brainstorming session and frowned. It was still early. He was alone in his office, but he was getting nowhere. Fast. Taking out the battery-powered razor he'd brought to work with him, he stood from his desk and began to shave the two days; worth of growth from his jaw. What now? He'd considered trying to sell Rikuto's Roost on adopting an animal mascot for their television commercial, but everything he thought of was too juvenile for the upscale steak and chicken restaurant. They'd hired one of the best chefs in the area to create some new pasta and salad entrees, but without a bold new advertising campaign, the same old clientele would visit the restaurant. And would order the same old things. And their normal customers were aging, which made it easy to forecast a decline in sales in coming years. To grow the market the way they wanted, they needed to appeal to the younger crowd and the growing number of vegetarians and health conscious in the populace. But how to reach the twenty-to-thirty-five year-old group in an effective and innovative way…

"How's it going?" Sanosuke entered his office without knocking, carrying two cups of tea, one of which he sat on Kenshin's desk.

Kenshin glanced at the clock encased in a perpetual-motion device sitting on top of his desk. Seven-forty. The secretaries would be in soon, and his quiet think time would be gone. The phones would ring, employees would congregate at the tea and coffee machine and talk and laugh, and Sano would remind him every five minutes that their meeting was quickly approaching.

"Pretty good." He lied, shutting off the hum of his razor and trying to look more optimistic than he did as he sat back down at his desk. He'd been doodling, trying to free his mind up enough to do his favorite part of the job-the creative, or the idea for the ad. But thoughts of Kaoru and Yahiko kept intruding. He was worried about them both, excited at the upcoming insemination, confused by the desire that licked at his nerves whenever he and Kaoru were close enough to touch. It warred so completely with the loyalty he still felt towards Tomoe, yet seemed so right in other ways.

He sensed he was losing…something. He'd hung on for eighteen months only to feel a part of himself slipping away, which caused a bit of panic, enough so that he was almost glad to be thrown into crisis mode on this job. Especially when, as a bonus, it kept Sano preoccupied to grill him about his new wife.

Sitting in the artsy black and silver chair across from Kenshin's desk, Sano angled his long legs out in front of him. "We're in trouble, aren't we?" He said. "You don't have anything."

Kenshin shrugged and shuffled his papers around so Sanosuke couldn't see just how much of nothing they really had. "I wouldn't say we have nothing. I've found a few ideas that might work, that I did."

Sano took a drink of his tea, then grimaced as though it was too bitter. "Okay, shoot. Let me hear what you've got."

In advertising it was typical to have two types of thinkers, creative and business minds. In Kenshin and Sanosuke's homegrown firm, they each did both, sales and marketing, and the creative. And they often did it as a team, which had its drawbacks. Kenshin wouldn't be able to bluff his way out of this the way he could if Sanosuke was some completely left-brain number cruncher.

"Well I was thinking we could go with a Mafia or Yakuza theme," he said. "That always makes a smile and ties into the distinctly high quality and Italian bent of some of the Roost's new dinners. We could have some guy sitting at the table wearing concrete shoes but eating with apparent gusto. Then, this godfather type, who's sitting across from him can rasp: 'At Rikuto's Roost, You'll get the best meal you've ever had, even if it isn't your last'."

Sano raised his eyebrows.

Okay so it was pretty weak. But there wasn't a lot to tie the western image of the new pasta and salads with the restaurant's name.

"How about we use a cow wearing a big sign that says. 'Give cows a break. Try the new pasta entrees at Rikuto's Roost.'" Sano suggested.

Kenshin had thought of something like that, back when he was still considering animal mascots, but had discarded it. "I don't think they want to go that far. Beef is still their main business. We're not out to destroy that, only to bring in a sector of the population that isn't interested in red meat."

Sano tried his tea again. "What about, 'Get a thief of a deal on pasta at Rikuto's Roost.'"

"It's a pretty pricy menu. I don't think we want to go for the price angle." Kenshin slid his paper out and started doodling again. "Maybe I should stop fighting the cowboy theme. It is a steak place and it does have a saloon type appearance, that it does. Perhaps we are stuck with it, anyway. We could have an old cowboy do the commercial and say something like-" Kenshin leaned back in his chair and pulled up all the memories of old western movies he had seen, he spoke in a drawl. "- Rikuto's Root has the best darn pasta and salads a body can rustle up, and that ain't no bull.'"

"That ain't no bull." Sanosuke thought for a moment, rubbing a finger over his upper lip, finally he said, "I like that. We can even use it for radio spots."

"Yeah, we can get someone with a deep distinctive voice-"

The telephone rang. Kenshin picked it up partly because the secretaries weren't in yet, and partly because he wished it was Matin Yoko needing to reschedule the meeting. Kenshin had no such luck, it was his mother. "Hi Mom, How is everything." He glanced up at the clock.

"Your father and I were hoping we could go to the hospital today and meet Kaoru and Yahiko."

"I don't think so. Not today. She, I mean we, just got some bad news. Yahiko's tests aren't coming back with the kind of results we were hoping for. They're going to have to do the bone marrow transplant next week, so they've upped Yahiko's chemo and radiation. And Kaoru's got finals in a week and is pretty stressed out. I think the family should give her some space-for a little while, anyway." He added, to soften his response.

"Give her some space?" His mother's tone sharpened. "She's losing her baby brother, and you want us to give her some space? We may never meet Yahiko if we give Kaoru space. And we're family now, Kenshin. She needs us." His mother's voice cracked, causing Kenshin to realize the size of his blunder. His mother was the most empathetic woman in the world. Just the mention of Yahiko's sickness had caused tears to stream down her face when he told her yesterday, and he suspected that she was crying again now. He wanted to caution her to not overreact, to admit to her that they weren't _really_ family, but the truth was out of the question. His parents would never understand about the baby, not when they'd been after him for months to put Tomoe's ghost to rest and start dating again.

"Her uncle is in town right now." He said. "And having a lot of visitors increases the risk of infection for Yahiko. They have him in a sterile room-"

"We can't scrub up?"

They could. Kenshin and Kaoru and anyone else who came to the hospital to see Yahiko did just that every time they visited.

Kenshin pinched the bridge of his nose, wishing Sano wasn't sitting across from him, a mocking expression on his face as he sipped his tea.

"Mom I don't have time to argue about this. I have a really big appointment-"

"You're concerned about a business appointment at a time like this?" she interrupted, her voice rising another octave. "Where are your priorities, Kenshin? If your wife is at the hospital with your baby brother-in-law, that's where you should be too."

Kenshin shook his head and rubbed his left eye which was beginning to twitch. "Calm down Mother, Kaoru's handling things quite well. She's understand that this appointment is very important, not just to me, but to everyone who works here. And I'm heading back to the hospital as soon as it's over." He added for good measure.

She sniffed. "That's more like it. We'll meet you there. What time do you think that will be?"

Aw, hell. His mother had maneuvered him into the position she wanted him in the first place. Kenshin would have laughed if he didn't want to strangle her so badly. "Just after noon, around one o' clock."

"And he's at Primary Care?"

"Yes, the one next to the university hospital."

"Alright, I know where that is. We'll see you there at one."

With a sigh he didn't bother to hide from Sano, Kenshin hung up. His mother meant well, but once she got something in her head, there wasn't any telling her different.

"Yukimi wants to meet Kaoru?" Sano smiled like the Cheshire cat.

Kenshin nodded and took a gulp from his tea, wishing it was coffee. He grimaced at the amount of sugar Sano put in it. "Jeez, do you drink your tea and coffee this way?"

"What?" Sano blinked at him innocently. "There's got to be some redeeming feature to this bitter crap other than the caffeine."

Kenshin chuckled. Heaven help him through this day! Somehow, when his parents were out of town, it was easy to picture them playing only a minor role in his and Kaoru's lives. Not a very realistic expectation, at least not with his mother.

"Let's get working on the storyboard," he said. "As long as we can pitch the idea, we don't have to have anything fancy. We can always do a more detail workup if the owner wants it, but I'd like to have something simple to give him an idea of what we're suggesting."

"You're trying to change the subject."

Maybe he'd strangle Sanosuke, too. Or instead. At least his partner could defend himself. "Of course I'm trying to change the subject. Our meeting is in less than three hours."

"Good morning!" Tami, his middle-aged, battle-ax of a secretary, poked her head in the room, bringing her usual scent with her, which was two parts antique store and one part cedar storage. "You missed a spot." She said, touching her chin, and Kenshin wondered how she could see so well from the doorway. Nothing got past her.

Turning his razor back on, he stroked it across his face, then angled his chin up for her approval.

"Perfect." She said. "I see you've got your morning tea, but I'll go ahead and brew a pot for everyone else."

Kenshin shoved his sickening sweet tea away. "No, bring me some coffee too. Black. And hold all my calls, I've got-"

"Rikuto's Roost at eleven, I know." She said.

Thank goodness he had such an efficient secretary. Too bad his mother hadn't called just a few minutes later. Tami would have been a good match, even for Yukimi. He turned his attention back to Sano, only to find his friend watching him with one eyebrow cocked. "What?" he asked, feeling more annoyed by the minute.

"Tell me what's going on with you and your new wife."

"Nothing. You know we have a deal. Nothing's changed, that it hasn't."

"Deals like that always turn into much more then you bargained for and usually something ugly. I tried to warn you. You're in over your head, aren't you?"

"No!" Kenshin growled, but then he remembered Kaoru's body snuggled up against his the night before and how badly he'd wanted to claim her as his wife in more than word alone, and he knew the "deal" was getting away from him after all.

So did they find a donor for her little brother?" Sano asked. He wasn't going to let it drop so easily. "You took off in a hurry last night."

Kenshin sighed, picking at the stack of papers in front of him. "Yahiko has a donor now, but it isn't a perfect match, that it isn't. It's not a major mismatch but enough to cause Kaoru to worry enough to refuse the donor."

Sano's eyebrows shot up. "Well if a perfect match is so hard to find, I would gladly settle on slightly mismatched."

Kenshin gazed at his partner at the top of his eyes. "Would you settle for a mismatched donor for your loved one? Knowing the risks?" Kenshin figured he would, as he hardly had any loved ones he loved enough to be bothered by such a question. What little family he did have, Sano didn't have the best relationship with.

Sano shrugged slightly as he took another sip of his tea. "I guess I see your point."

… . . …

"Grandma's coming to visit!" Yahiko announced just after Kaoru returned from grabbing a quick bite of lunch in the cafeteria.

"What?" She asked, frozen in mid-step. Their grandmother had died just after Kaoru had been born. She never knew her grandmother; much less Yahiko, plus Saitou's mother had never once showed much interest in Yahiko. Though the idea of family felt good right now. Their uncle Gensai had just left to head back home. He needed to pick up his mail, pay some bills and take care of a few things before returning in time for the transplant. "Yahiko-kun, we don't have a grandma."

"Huh?" Yahiko glanced at the anime programming that was playing on the TV across the room, and it had sucked him in that fast.

"We don't have a grandma, remember?" she prompted.

"No silly Kaoru-chan. My new grandma. Grandma Yukimi."

"You don't have a-" for a moment, Kaoru almost forgot she was married. Kenshin was never far from her thought's He was too large, too in charge, too sexy to forget. But she'd never considered his family when she consented to marry him. She'd though only of how their arraignment would affect the crises at hand. "Do you mean Kenshin's mother is coming?" she asked in surprised.

Yahiko nodded. She called me. She's bringing me some presents. She said I can have anything I want, and that I can call her Grandma because she's so old and I'm so young!"

"Oh really?" Letting Yahiko go back to his anime show, Kaoru grabbed the phone to dial Kenshin's number. If his mother was coming, she wanted him here with her to field the more difficult questions. She didn't know what he'd told his family so far and didn't want to contradict him. Besides, the marriage was his idea. Let him worry about what should or should not be said

Which sounded good in theory, but the secretary on the other end of the line told her that Himura Kenshin was out until after three o' clock. She only got his voicemail when she tried his cell phone. Great. Now what should she do? For a moment, she thought of heading back to the cafeteria to hide. But she didn't want to leave Yahiko alone with a total stranger.

"Hi, Kaoru Babe!"

Kaoru jumped, but it was only Misao.

Thank God it was Misao! "You can't leave until they're gone." She blurted, clutching the woman by the arm.

Misao looked behind her as though she expected to see someone else. "I think you're finally cracking up, Kaoru. What happed to 'Hello, how are you? Don't you have to go to work today?'"

"Hello, how are you? Don't you have to go to work today?"

"Nope." She gave Kaoru her customary hug. "I traded shifts with someone who needed a day off next weekend."

"Great, then you can stay.'

"Sounds like I don't have a choice. What's going on around here?" She turned and poked the boy. "Hey Yaki-kun"

"Hey Miso-chan" the boy teased back. "My new Grandma is coming." He chirped to answer her question.

Misao's eyes widened and she whipped her head around to Kaoru. "Kenshin's parents?"

Kaoru nodded. "What if I say something that gives us away?"

"I think we'll have a bigger problem if you don't"

Kaoru paused. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Misao pulled Kaoru out into the hall and lowered her voice. "It means that it's not fair to these people to think they have a distant son-in-law…or grandson…whatever they want to call him. It's not fair to think they have one when they don't."

Kaoru's mouth dropped. "I know that!" She lowered her voice. "But what can I do about it now? It's Kenshin's family. The marriage, what he told them about it, was his decision."

"But what if they take this whole thing seriously and get close to Yahiko and-"

"If he lives, he'll be hurt even more by the divorce. And if he doesn't, they'll have to suffer right along with me." Kaoru groaned and dropped her head in her palm. "This whole thing was a mistake, wasn't it?"

"No, just the part where you married Kenshin Himura and agreed to let him move in."

"Says the woman who shoved a wedding dress in my suitcase." Kaoru muttered but Misao went on.

"Having his baby was necessary to-"

"Kaoru?"

Kaoru whirled at the sound of Kenshin's voice, but her relief was short-lived. No less than six adults followed him, all of them beaming at her with a mixture of curiosity and warmth. "Oh, no. He brought an army." She whispered.

Misao cleared her throat and smiled. "Don't look so stricken." She advised through her teeth.

Kaoru masked her nervousness, focused on Kenshin and tried to look at lot less tentative than she felt. "Hi Honey."

"Hi." He grinned and looped his arms around her waist, pulling her to him for a peck on the mouth. A show for his family, no doubt, but Kaoru would have enjoyed it all the same, if she hadn't been so concerned about the audience.

"My folks have been dying to meet you. I hope you don't mind the surprise. I was tied up all morning but tried to call a little while ago, that I did. No one answered."

"Yahiko must have got anime hypnotized. I was downstairs eating lunch. How did the meeting go?"

"We have an appointment next week. I have to finish the storyboard and talk to a couple of directors so I can get a better estimate on how much the commercial is going to cost. But the owner likes the idea, so we're moving on."

"That's great. She looked to the older woman, who was positively beaming at her. Short, plump, she had bluish-black hair and her arms were loaded with gifts. "This must be your mother, Yukimi." She said, offering a smile.

The woman shoved the gifts she'd been carrying into the hands of the young, slender woman next to her and hauled Kaoru into her arms. "Call me Mom." She insisted. "We're so happy to have you in our family. I can't tell you what a relief it is to see Kenshin married again. And we want you to know we're here for you. Yahiko belongs to us too, now. We'll fight this thing together."

The last thing Kaoru had expected was the unquestioning support of Kenshin's mother. She started to back away, feeling guilty for the lies she and Kenshin were perpetuating and the assumption others drew from them. But Yukimi wasn't finished with her yet. She held her for several minutes, rocking her like a child, crying in empathy for her and Yahiko's struggle.

While the other's looked on, their faces earnest and kind, Kenshin's mother motions and her touch soothed something so deep inside Kaoru, she never dreamed anyone could ever reach it when her own mother died. Tears started to fill her eyes, but she struggled valiantly to hold them back, telling herself the whole thing wasn't real. It was an illusion, built on lies.

Yet the love Yukimi offered seemed real. Kaoru felt as if she'd been running a long, hard race, and just when she couldn't go any farther, just when she was fighting for every painful inch on willpower alone, this woman came out of nowhere, gathered her in her arms and begun to carry her with fresh energy and determination. Caught in an awkward box of guilt and hope and need, she glanced at Kenshin, who shifted uncomfortably.

As soon as Yukimi let her go, Kenshin cleared his throat and introduced her to his father, Kenta, who was just a tad taller than Kenshin with short hair that had been the same color as Kenshin's but was now faded to a fiery auburn with age. Kenta kissed and hugged her, then Tae, his slender, attractive sister, Ryoichi, his brother, and then their spouses. They all hugged her in turn.

"Welcome to the family."

"We're sorry about Yahiko's illness.

"We're glad Kenshin's found someone to love again."

_You mean , Kenshin's found someone to give him something to love_. Kaoru thought with a pang of envy. If only he wanted her as much as he wanted the child they had yet to conceive…

She risked another glance at his face. He'd just introduced Misao to everyone and was talking to her and his brother-in-law about some movie they'd all seen recently. And it struck her then that his family, these people, were part of the reason he was such a fine man. He'd known nothing but love and generosity his whole life, a legacy their child would inherit. Even if he shut her out, she knew their child would never want for a warm embrace, a listening ear, a feeling of belonging. Somehow that made what they were going to do in less than three days easier. And somehow it made it harder, too.

"Well," Kaoru said, devastated and overwhelmed on the one hand and already completely enamored with Kenshin's family on the other. "I guess you'd like to meet Yahiko."

His mother shifted the gifts that were now back in her arms to squeeze Kaoru's hand. "We'd love it, dear." She said simply. "Even though Yahiko is your brother and not your child, we have only three grandchildren and will gladly accept him as out fourth grandchild."

Oh, no. Kaoru couldn't take any more. She felt like a thief, robbing these people of love she had not right to accept. "I'm sorry." She started. "But before we go any further, Kenshin and I need to tell you something."

Before she could say anymore, she felt Kenshin's long fingers close on her elbow. He gave her a warning squeeze, but she looked up at him and shook her head. "I have to tell them the truth." She whispered.

"What truth, dear?" his mother asked. "You can tell us anything."

"We're going to have a baby." Kenshin blurted.

* * *

A/n well the family is nice enough and seems to mean well. I can't believe he went off and blurted about the baby. (even though there is no baby yet.) No fluff in this chapter, Gomen. But some fluff in the next. Thanks for reading! Reviews are loved!


	14. The Point of no Return

A/n hi everyone. Getting ready for my book in a month program really sucks…just to let you know. A little bit of fluff, just like I promised….a little bit. Thanks to all my reviewers. Hehe it's like 5 in the morning and I'm dead tired so I'm keeping this short.

Disclaimer, I do not own this story or it's characters.

* * *

"What are you doing?" Kaoru whispered harshly, now alone in the hospital corridor with Kenshin. "You told your family we're having a baby!" Now they're talking about throwing a baby shower and knitting baby booties!"

"We are having a baby," he said. "You told me this morning that you'd keep the appointment this Thursday, that you did. Have you changed your mind?"

She hesitated, and his stomach knotted. "Have you changed your mind?" he asked again.

"No," She sighed "I just can't be the fraud you want me to be. I think we should tell everyone the truth."

"Including your uncle?"

"No, not him. He'd never understand. Our relationship would never be the same is he learned-"

"So you just want me to tell _my_ family. Is that it?"

"You don't know how guilty it makes me feel when they hug me and say all those nice things." She argued.

Kenshin glanced behind him. The nurses were on the phone, two doctors were talking in whispers and his family was all inside Yahiko's room down the hall. "You're taking it too seriously, that you are." He insisted, even though, since his family had met Kaoru and Yahiko, he'd had to stretch his collar a few times too. He'd never dreamed they'd be so passionate about embarrassing the situation. He'd pictured himself easily in charge, filtering the bits of information he wanted them to receive. But they'd grabbed the ball and ran with it, and now he had to figure out a way to wrest it back. "Everything's fine."

"Fine? Your parents are planning to stay at the hospital in shifts. You call that fine?"

He shrugged. "I can talk them out of it; tell them the doctors won't allow any more extra visitors."

"More lies?"

"Wait a second." Kenshin propped an arm against the wall near the side of Kaoru's head. "It's okay to tell your uncle whatever story will smooth the way for a healthy relationship between you, but when it comes to my family, what we're doing is wrong? It's our lives. What we do is none of their business, that it is."

"I think they plan to make it their business. Have you any idea how much they love you?"

Kenshin ran his hand over his face. He did know they loved him. And he owed them more than the concocted story he was feeding them. But he and Kaoru were already this far into the deal. They couldn't turn back now, not then he was so close to achieving what he wanted. "I love them, too, but in nine months this will all be over and for now…"

He pushed away from the wall and took a step back because the scent of Kaoru's perfume brought back memories of the night and its temptations. She hadn't changed her clothes since sleeping in them, had cried away any trace of make-up and had pulled her hair back in a ponytail to compensate for the fact that she had bigger things to worry about than curling her hair. And still he thought she was one of the loveliest women he'd ever seen and every day she seemed lovelier.

It was her need that attracted him, he reminded himself. He was a sucker for a woman in distress, anyone in distress really. It came from being his mother's son. The fact that he was creative on top of softhearted is what landed him in this mess to begin with.

"For now it will be good for Yahiko to have my family behind him." he said. "It might help him through this difficult time."

"And tomorrow will take care of itself?" Kaoru asked dubiously.

"Lets just day that we'll handle first things first. Don't you think we have enough going on for one week?"

"Artificial insemination for me this Thursday, Yahiko's transplant on Tuesday, then my finals." She smiled for the first time since he pulled her out of Yahiko's room. "I'm nuts."

"You're beautiful." He said before he could stop himself.

Kaoru blinked up at him in surprise, and he noticed her eyes, they were incredibly clear blue. He waned to kiss her. She wouldn't stop him, judging by the way she was looking at him.

Forgetting that they were standing in the middle of the hospital corridor where anyone might see them, Kenshin started to lower his head, his gaze intent on Kaoru's moist, warm mouth, intent on how good it was going to feel to let himself melt into her.

"Give me more than a millisecond this time." He murmured, and she seemed to know exactly what he was talking about because she smiled even as her lips pared slightly in anticipation. He could feel her sweet breath on his chin, could almost taste her. Then his sister's voice shattered the moment.

"Here they are!"

Kenshin drew away to stare at Tae, at last remembering Tomoe and all their promises and plans for they future. Tomoe had been gone only eighteen months, and already the physical part of him was ready to move on. He'd justified his willingness to make love to Kaoru on the night of their wedding as a means to an end. He wanted to get her pregnant. He could develop a more direct approach. But there wasn't any reason he should want to kiss her here in the middle of the damn hospital. Maybe he wasn't the man he thought he was. _Kaoru's needy right now, that's all_. He shoved a hand through his hair. _Hell, maybe I'm needy too. _

"Yahiko wants you to watch him open his other presents." His sister said, obviously embarrassed at having interrupted them. Hauling in a deep breath, Kenshin managed a smile, took Kaoru by the elbow and led her back into the room.

… . . …

The next two days passed quickly. The chemo was making Yahiko sick again, so Kaoru lived at the hospital, studying and sleeping when she could, holding and loving her brother when she couldn't. Kenshin's family came three or four times a day but never stayed long. They didn't want to tire Yahiko and seemed to know just how much support to give and when.

Kaoru was beginning to believe Kenshin's mother was clairvoyant-although she hadn't yet divined the falsehood of their marriage. She understood the pain and worry of others without having to say a word, and she had the most generous heart Kaoru had ever known. But as warm as Kaoru's feelings towards the Himuras were, they fell far short of Yahiko's, Kaoru's brother lit up at the sight of anyone or anything remotely connected to Kenshin, and to his new big brother most of all. He talked incessantly about him, showed Kaoru again and again whatever new toy or item of clothing or book he'd brought him, colored pictures after picture just for him and proudly announced that he was his Onii-chan, his big brother when any of the nurses or doctors were present.

Kaoru was beginning to suspect it was Yahiko that put that special sparkle in Kenshin's eye, too. He came as often as his family, but stayed longer each time. Last night he'd even shared a cot with Kaoru again and helped Yahiko when he got sick during the night. But besides giving Kaoru the comfort of his arms around her, he hadn't touched her in any more intimate way.

"All set?" Kenshin stood at the door, waiting for her.

Kaoru glanced once more at Yahiko, who was busy with a new stamping set, before nodding. It was Thursday, time for the artificial insemination, and she had just returned from home where she'd showered and dressed in a sleeveless sundress that flowed almost to her ankles, and a pair of sandals. She and Kenshin had agreed to meet at the hospital so they could check on Yahiko right before they left, but if they didn't leave soon, they might miss their appointment. And strangely enough, Kaoru didn't want to do that. At least she didn't _think_ she wanted to miss the insemination. Her feelings were too mixed to sort out in the middle of everything else going on in her life. Kenshin had given her the money to save her brother. For that she was overwhelmingly grateful and felt a certain obligation; but combined with it was a not-so-easily explained hesitancy to disappoint him and a secret thrill at the prospect of carrying his child.

"You going to be okay if we leave for an hour or so, Yahiko-kun?" Kenshin asked. They'd talked about asking Kenshin's mother to come sit with him while they were gone, but decided against involving Yukimi so they wouldn't have to lie to her about where they were going. The deception was bothering them both enough already.

Yahiko reached out to give Kenshin a hug. Kenshin carefully lifted his small body in his arms. "I'm tired." He admitted after giving him a hug.

Clearing away his paper and stamps, Kenshin tucked him in bed. "Why don't you lie down and rest, then? I'll turn on that tape of anime I recorded for you, and you can watch it while we're gone."

"Okay."

Kaoru's jaw dropped. She'd tried not more than two minutes earlier to talk her brother into taking a nap or at least rest, but Yahiko wouldn't have any of it. Then Kenshin suggested the same thing, and her brother was suddenly fine with it. Hiding a smile, Kaoru stepped out of the room. Kenshin could walk on water while she had to swim, upstream evidently, but Kaoru didn't mind. The joy Kenshin brought Yahiko had certainly been an unexpected bonus to their bargain. Her only concern was how her brother would react in nine months, when he left.

Kenshin joined her in a few minutes, the theme song from the anime trailing out of Yahiko's room behind him. "Are you ready for our big day?"

Kaoru nodded. "Do you have enough ammunition?"

"What?"

"Are you armed to the teeth with playboy magazines?"

He scowled "I'm sure they provide all that." He said through his teeth.

Kaoru grinned, but the thought of what he was going to do was more arousing than funny. Her own starved body started making its long hibernation felt, and she passed a cool hand over her hot neck, looking away from him as they waited for the elevator.

"You're blushing, that you are." He said.

"No I'm not."

"What are you thinking about?"

"The Roost meeting you went to."

"Oh yeah? I didn't know the thought of a good steak could do that to a woman."

Kaoru's blush deepened when she realized her wasn't buying her story, but she persisted in trying to change the subject. "Do you really think they'll sign your contract next week?"

The elevator doors _whooshed_ open and Kenshin waved her in ahead of him. "Once I have all the numbers together, I don't know why not. He's already called me several times with questions, so he's keeping in close touch."

There was that slightly weightless feeling as they descended, then, "What about you?" he asked. "You've been studying, that you are. Is anything sinking in amidst all this?"

_That I suddenly had greater interest in biology than I do in pharmacology, perhaps, not much more._ "A little." She hedged

"Are you going to be able to pass your finals?"

"One week will tell."

"You'll do it."

Kaoru nodded, trying to think positively as they made their way through the lobby and out to Kenshin's car. They drove to the fertility clinic in silence. Kenshin seemed to be deep in his thoughts, whatever they were, and Kaoru couldn't believe that in a matter of minutes she was going to hopefully be pregnant with Kenshin's baby. It was incredible, incredible that it could happen, incredible that she could actually want it to.

After Kenshin parked, he took Kaoru by the hand. "Before we go in, I just want to tell you-" his gaze lowered to her mouth as it had that day in the hospital corridor, then stubbornly returned to her eyes. "-that I'm grateful to you for doing this for me, and…"

"And?" Kaoru prompted.

"And , damn you look great in that dress."

Kaoru laughed and raised his hand to her lips for a quick kiss. As much as she wanted to prolong the moment, hopping for a better indication of how he felt towards her, there wasn't time. "Let's go."

… . . …

Kenshin stared at the plastic cup the nurse had given him, then eyed the magazines in a rack along the wall of the closet-like cubicle.

_Talk about putting a guy on the spot_, He thought, smiling ruefully to himself. Good thing he was comfortable with his masculinity to not care what anyone though if he gave them his sample so quickly or after a long while. All he had to do was focus on what he was here for, because he wanted a son or daughter.

On second thought, perhaps the centerfold of one of the magazines would be better for him to focus on. They were pretty enough, but his mind wandered to Tomoe. How his mind, heart and body had been committed to her. But the past didn't have the same impact on his emotions as the present, and somehow those days seemed to be slipping away like sand through his fingers.

He closed his eyes as pictures of Kaoru laying beneath him came to mind and his heart started to pound and he felt the heat pooling in his loins. She was beautiful and responsive and so very sexy with that sultry voice and those big sapphire blue eyes…

… . . …

Kaoru waited nervously for Kenshin's sample to be treated. Flipping through a woman's magazine, she repeatedly glanced at the clock, careful not to let her arm brush against Kenshin's, who was now sitting next to her. She'd just called to check on Yahiko and found that Yukimi was at the hospital. The nurse had said Mrs. Himura was reading in the lobby while Yahiko napped.

At least Yahiko wasn't alone anymore. That brought Kaoru a measure of comfort, along with the news that her brother was getting some of the rest he so desperately needed. But her mind wasn't on Kenshin's mother, or the hospital or even the bone marrow transplant. It was on the door that she would pass to become pregnant with Kenshin's child. The one that would open at any minute to reveal a nurse dressed in a white smock, pants and rubber soled shoes, who would invite her past the point of no return. Was she doing the right thing? Or was she simply asking for more heartache?

Accurately reading her last-minute jitters, Kenshin reached over and took her hand. He didn't meet her eyes, but he threaded his fingers through hers and kept both their hands in his lap. Kaoru took heart from the contact, but barely broke away when the nurse called her name.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Kenshin asked, wearing a teasing grin that told her he already knew the answer would be no.

Kaoru shook her head. "The diamond isn't _that_ big." She said, then more seriously. "There's nothing to it, right?"

"That's what they say."

She wiped her sweaty palms on her thighs. "Okay."

"Don't be scared. It's not going to hurt."

"No, but it's not going to feel anything like your contribution to this event, either."

He grinned, and the purple of his eyes darkened. "I know a way that it could, that I do."

Kaoru's mouth went dry, and she had to clear her throat before she could speak. "Is that an invitation?"

His eyes never wavered from hers. "It could be."

She glanced back at the nurse, who wasn't close enough to hear them but was frowning at the delay. "I think that would require an addendum to our agreement."

"Why? We're married."

"We're not committed."

He sighed and shifted in his seat. "I'm sorry Kaoru. I can't promise you anything more than what we've got already."

"Because of Tomoe?"

He nodded.

So his first wife was still alive and well, at least in Kenshin's heart. Kaoru tried not to feel the inevitable sting of disappointment. She'd expected as much. "But a physical relationship is okay?"

"Yes-maybe. I don't know." He glanced self-consciously at the handful of people sitting and reading elsewhere in the waiting area. None of them seemed to be paying attention, but Kaoru knew it was a strange thing to talk about in a waiting room. "I'll be lying if I said I never thought about it," he admitted.

"Well I don't need you to do me that sort of favor."

"I wasn't thinking of it as a favor."

Kaoru lowered her voice even further. "Still, there's a bit of a crowd in the bedroom, don't you think?" Without waiting for an answer, she got to her feet, slung her purse over her shoulder and followed the nurse through the doorway, down a short hall and into an examination room.

At first she'd agreed to have Kenshin's baby because of what it would mean for Yahiko. Then, when he'd released her from her part, she decided to go head with the insemination because of her sense of obligation, gratitude empathy, even admiration.

Now she feared she'd fallen in love with him.

She should have walked away while she still could.

… . . …

White walls, white ceiling, white floor, the smell of antibacterial soap and plenty of light. Miserable, Kaoru sat on a padded table in the middle of the small examination room, staring around her and taking deep breaths in an effort to slow the pounding of her heart. _I'm an idiot_. Kenshin had just told her he was still in love with Tomoe. His heart was sealed tighter than a drum, yet she was being artificially inseminated with his child. Why was she doing this to herself? Why was she asking for more trouble?

The stiff paper beneath her bare bottom crinkled as she shifted to get a better look at the underwear folded neatly atop her sandals on the chair in the corner. She should dress and go. She felt doomed, as if she couldn't turn back. But it wasn't too late. She could still-

The door opened just as Kaoru was about to stand, causing her to jerk back and adjust the blue paper lap covering the nurse had given her when she'd told her to strip from the waist down. Kaoru hadn't actually removed her dress, but it was bunched up around her hips, leaving her feeling vulnerable and unprotected. In just a few moments a Dr. Howes-Dr. Megumi Takani was delivering a baby- would deposit Kenshin's semen into her body. Aided by medical science, the little sperm cells would swim like there was no tomorrow, and they wouldn't have far to go to reach the egg that was just sitting there, waiting to be fertilized. Then it would all be over. No backing out allowed. And nine month from now…

Kaoru didn't even want to think about nine months from now. Her world revolved around the next week. Yahiko's transplant, her finals. That was it.

"I'm Dr. Howes," the doctor was saying. A short, balding man with thick glasses, he shook her cold hand before stretching on a pair of surgical gloves. Then he sank onto a rolling chair and took a moment to study her chart. "Let me see here." He murmured.

The nurse came in carrying a tray of medical instruments and a large syringe.

"I-I'm sorry, but I think there's been some mistake," Kaoru stuttered as soon as she saw the syringe, Fighting an impulse to shout to be heard over the thudding of her heart.

"A mistake?" The doctor scowled at her. The thickness of his glasses magnified his eyes to something much bigger than their normal size, and Kaoru had the fleeting impression that she was about to be impregnated by a giant praying mantis.

She nearly scrambled off the table and ran for her life, and would have had the nurse not taken her hand. "There's nothing to be frightened of, dear. This isn't going to hurt a bit."

Perhaps not now, Kaoru wanted to say. It was nine months from now that worried her, and her concern had nothing to do with labor and delivery. The physical pain she could handle. Watching Kenshin take their baby, load it into his car and drive away was another story. But could she walk out there now and tell him she wouldn't go through with their agreement? He'd given her the chance she needed to keep her little brother alive. He'd thrown her a line when she thought she would drown in despair.

"Are you having second thoughts?" The doctor asked, the tone of his voice a subtle rebuke for wasting his time. "Would you like to postpone the procedure until you and your husband can be sure.

Kaoru clenched her fist so tightly she could feel her nails cutting into her palms. "No I- It's fine. Let's go ahead."

"Are you sure?

"Yes." She said, sounding far more convinced than she felt.

The doctor pulled the rolling tray towards him and scooted closer, and Kaoru willed herself to calm down. But when he touched her leg, she nearly jumped off the table. "Relax." He said, slightly impatient now. "I just need you to scoot up, bend your knees more…that's it…and lie back."

Closing her eyes and focusing on Yahiko and the transplant Kenshin made possible, she did as directed. A very personal, intimate part of him was about to be fused with a very personal intimate part of her.

The most amazing this about it was that, despite all her fears and the fact that what she was doing contradicted every ounce of common sense she possessed, something about it felt incredibly, wonderfully right. And something else-her heart?-whispered that a lot could happen in nine months.

* * *

A/n I know most of you wanted Kaoru to get pregnant the traditional way. (and if this wasn't a writing exercise I would have wrote it that way too. D'oh!) But at this point in their relationship, Kaoru wouldn't have a meaningless roll in the hay. Too personal for her I think. But some interesting developments in the next chapter. Thanks for reading everyone, Reviews are loved.


	15. The Struggle

A/n Hi everyone. Well November was a challenge. Nanowrimo went well enough. Now that it's over I only have the one course left to worry about so I hope I won't be as pressed for time like I was and my fanfiction won't go neglected. I thought I would post a chapter of this story to let you know I haven't forgotten you guys. I'll also be posting a chapter in Endure, so keep your eyes open for that.

Sadly I won't be able to post in this story every week like I use to, but it won't be a month between postings like it is right now lol...I hope. I recall there was a lot of misspellings and typos in the last chapter. I blame that from my rushing to get one last chapter up before I ran out of time. I hope this chapter won't be full of distracting mistakes like the last one was.

Disclaimer: I don't own this story or the Kenshin characters.

* * *

Kaoru seemed remote when she came out of the fertility clinic. Kenshin followed her all the way to his car without speaking, but when he opened the door for her and climbed behind the wheel himself, he let the keys dangle in the ignition and turned to face her.

"You okay?"

She nodded.

"They said it wouldn't hurt."

"I didn't"

"Do you feel any different?"

"Physically? Not yet. That will take a while."

"And emotionally?"

"I guess I'm as well as one could expect, considering."

Considering the fact that her little brother was dying. "Okay, do you want to talk?"

While she stared straight ahead, Kenshin admired her profile, the small straight nose, the full lips, the gentle swell of her breasts, the soft skin that was everywhere the dress wasn't. He almost ran a hand down her arm, but he knew, if he touched her, he wouldn't be able to stop at a friendly pat. The fantasy he'd let himself indulge in, the one where he'd made mad passionate love to her, was still too fresh in his mind.

"About?"

"About how we're going to handle the next few months. I mean the way I see it, things have changed a bit, that they have. I'm thinking we should re-evaluate."

She plucked a piece of lint off her dress, her nails neat and well shaped but short. Folding her arms in what appeared to be a bolstering or defensive move, she finally met his eye. "Why? What's our options?"

"Well I was planning to live with your for the next nine months, but I'm not sure that's such a good idea anymore." _Not if you want me to keep my hands to myself_. He almost added the words but was afraid she'd get the wrong idea and think he might force himself on her sometime, when in reality, she'd probably only drive him mad. He'd prowl at night, hoping she'd admit him to her bed, and then if she did, he'd wake up feeling guilty for having taken advantage of a young woman.

Except that she wasn't a young woman. She was his wife. That entitled him to something, didn't it? No, not in their case. A baby was the end of their agreement. Anything more wasn't fair to Kaoru. Not if she couldn't enjoy the physical intimacy while it lasted and then walk away. And how could he ask that?

"Moving in was your idea." She said. "There's certainly no need to do it if you've changed your mind."

Kenshin knew he should feel relieved but he never felt the way he should anymore. For a few moments in the doctor's office, he'd thought she was hoping for a real relationship, but if that was the case, she wouldn't have let him off so easily. "So you're okay with the way things are?"

"I'm fine. As far as I'm concerned, we're right on track. You gave me the money, which I paid to the hospital. Yahiko is getting his transplant next week. And I've taken the steps toward fulfilling my part of the bargain. After today, I should be pregnant. What's the problem?"

She nearly blinded him with a huge smile, but it didn't have the reassuring properties one might have thought. Kenshin stiffened beneath a surprising wave of disappointment. Evidently he'd misread the signals she'd been sending him. Spending their nights together in a platonic embrace didn't wreak the same kind of havoc with her body that it did with his.

"No problem." He said.

"Your parents and my uncle see us as newlyweds. If we don't keep up the charade now, they're going to know something isn't right."

"True."

"So what's changed?"

He laughed and hoped it didn't sound as nervous to Kaoru as it did to him. If she could go on the way things were between them, then he could too, right? After all, he was the one who wasn't interested in a more permanent relationship. "Nothing, forget I said anything. I've already moved a lot of my clothes. I'll bright the rest to your place after work, that I will."

"Fine."

_And then I'll spend another sleepless night with you in my arms, caught between the misery of telling myself no and the fresh wave of wanting I feel every time you nuzzle against me_.

… . . …

Kaoru grabbed her towel, clutching it to the front of her as she dashed out of the shower to answer the phone. Her uncle hadn't returned from his trip back home yet but Yahiko's new interest in Grandma Himura had freed Kaoru up enough to study at home this weekend, where it was quiet. She spent a good number of hours preparing for her final exams and was just starting to believe she might pass a few of them. Kami willing, but after two days of intense reading and not taking, her eyes were burning and her back ached from sitting so long. She deserved a long hot shower, but she couldn't let the phone ring without answering it. Not when it could be the hospital.

"Hello?"

"Kaoru? You sound like I caught you running the fifty-yard dash. Are you okay?"

Misao. Kaoru smiled and dried her naked body, then propped the phone against her ear with her shoulder so she could wrap the towel around her wet hair to keep it from dripping on the carpet. With everything going on in her life, she and her friend hadn't had a chance to talk privately for several days. "I'm fine. I was just in the shower."

"Alone?"

Kaoru rolled her eyes. "Yes of course alone."

"Then you're not making much progress."

"It's a little difficult to take a shower with someone who's not even here. And Kenshin all but told me he's not over his dead wife yet, which isn't anything new. I think he's got a few years of mourning left in him." Besides, didn't Misao chew her out for lying to Kenshin's mother?

"Not to be disrespectful, but like I've said before, Tomoe's dead, and you're wonderfully alive. His practical side will win out eventually."

"I don't want to be some consolation prize. I want him to fall head over heels in love with me." Kaoru almost gasped at her own admission. That certainly wasn't what she'd meant to say. "Wait, I don't mean that."

"Yes you did. And I can't blame you. Where is he by the way?"

"At the hospital, I think."

"I was there yesterday, with him and his parents."

"Was Yahiko okay with my not being there?"

"Are you kidding? With all that attention? He was at the height of his glory. But the doctors seemed a little uptight about all the visitors."

"I've talked to them about that. Everyone's being very careful about scrubbing up, and I think the positive energy they're infusing into Yahiko's life is doing incredible good. Yahiko's been happier this week that he's been in a long time, despite his poor health."

"I agree. He's a tough kid. He sure thinks Kenshin's pretty great."

Kenshin was great, but Kaoru was trying to not think like that. It made the nights when they were sleeping together unbearable, the days when they weren't together longer. "He's been good to him."

"Question is, is he being good to you?"

"He bought me a diamond ring."

"That's not what you want."

"I know, but I don't think things are going to work out the way I want."

"And you think this because…?"

"He's slept with me a number of nights already and hadn't made any kind of move. Surely if he had interest in me he'd want to touch me, or kiss me, at least, don't you think?" She chewed her lip, considering Kenshin's cautious behavior. "He offered to once, but I'm not sure that really counts. We were in the waiting room of the doctor's office, so he was pretty safe."

"Then maybe you should help things along. Have you ever thought of that?"

"No."

"Seduce him. Remind him what it's like to have a wife."

"But I don't want him to sleep with me if he doesn't love me. I'd feel like sloppy seconds. How much fun could that be?"

"Have some confidence, girl. There aren't many women more attractive than you are."

Kaoru scoffed. "I lost my husband to a-"

"I know, to a high-school girl. But that says more about Saitou that it does you."

Everyone said that, and it made sense-to Kaoru's head. Her heart however was more difficult to convince. "Still, sometimes I'm afraid I'm not, I don't know, woman enough to hold a man, I guess." She said, voicing her worst fears. She stretched the phone cored and began to pace, then crossed the window to gaze out at the neglected backyard.

"Kenshin's not like Saitou. There's a maturity about him that Saitou never possessed." Misao pointed out.

"But he's in love with another woman. A dead woman, yes, but…"

"At least his being so devoted and loyal says a lot."

Kaoru had to agree at that point, but it didn't change anything, at least not for her. "He doesn't want me, Misao." Tucking a dripping lock of hair up into her towel, she turned and started to pace back toward the small table the phone was on, then froze. Kenshin was standing in the living room, staring at her, his keys still in his hand, his jaw sagging.

"Who doesn't want you?" he asked.

"Kaoru? Kaoru? Are you there?" Misao's tiny voice came through the receiver, calling her several times before Kaoru had the presence of mind to whip the towel off her head and drape it around her body."

"Um, I have to go." Kaoru murmured.

"Are you okay?"

"Fine." She set the phone on its cradle, careful to keep her new shield from revealing a healthy dose of what Kenshin had already seen. "That was Misao." She said to him, trying to act normal, as though it was the most natural thing in the world for him to walk in on her while she was naked. "I was in the shower when the phone rang, and I was afraid it was the hospital…I didn't hear you come in…" She let her words drift away when she realized he wasn't listening. His focus was further down, on her bare legs.

"Who doesn't want you?" he repeated.

Kaoru's throat constricted until she could hardly swallow. "No one you know." She managed to say. Then she skirted past him and dashed for the safety of the bathroom.

… . . …

_This just isn't going to work._ With a curse Kenshin stabbed a hand through his mane of hair and stared blankly at Kaoru's now empty living room. When he'd made his deal with her, he hadn't counted on his body's complete rebellion. He'd thought her lovely, mysterious, but how could he have guessed she'd affect him so completely? Since Tomoe's death, he'd dated a few times, and every single one of those women had left him stone cold. He'd told himself that Kaoru's vulnerability, her need, her obvious love for her brother, was what drew him, but the raging desire that coursed though his veins at the sight of her pacing in the buff had nothing to do with anyone's needs but his own.

_I can have her, she's my wife_. He started down the hall, then stopped. No, sex wasn't part of the deal But if she agreed…? Dropping his head into his hands, he rubbed his temples. He should move out and tell her to lock her doors against him. Instead, he covered the rest of the distance to the bathroom door and knocked. "Kaoru?"

"Yes?"

"Mom's doing great with Yahiko."

"That's good."

"And you've been studying for two days straight. It might be good for you to take a break."

"I think you're right. I'm seeing double my eyes are so strained. I thought I might run over to Misao's for a little bit, you know, get away."

"What about letting me take you to dinner?"

A long pause.

Kenshin held his breath, hoping…for what? That she'd tell him to go fly a kite? That's she'd agree? Damn, he didn't know what he wanted anymore. Except for one thing, he wanted at least one night with Kaoru, maybe, probably more. And the thought that she might be carrying his child only made his desire for her stronger.

"Where do you want to go?" She asked, hesitant.

Kenshin recalled the most romantic restaurant he knew. It had been a long time since he'd tried to impress a woman, but he hoped he hadn't forgotten how. "Leave the restaurant to me. I know the perfect place, that I do."

… . . …

The candle on the table flickered, throwing subtle shadows against Kenshin's face as Kaoru sat across from him in the quaint Italian restaurant He'd chosen. She gazed at the wall of windows overlooking the city, the loaves of crusty bread along the bar, the hanging meats overhead and thought she'd never been anywhere quite so wonderful. Saitou's idea of a night on the town had included burgers or noodle bowls and possibly a movie, but never anything with so much atmosphere.

Dressed in a pair of black silk pants and the sleeveless jade sweater her uncle had given her for Christmas, Kaoru felt more attractive than she had in a long time. She wasn't sure if it was the elegant setting, her dressy clothes or what she read in Kenshin's eyes when he looked at her that made the difference, but she did know that Kenshin was incredibly handsome in his starched shirt, slacks and loafers. She loved his square jaw and the angle of his chin, his solid touch and his gentle smile.

Kaoru focused on her fruity, nonalcoholic drink, knowing she's have to be very careful how she handled herself tonight or they'd both wake up to some significant regret in the morning.

"Do you like this place?" he asked.

Kaoru breathed in the smell of garlic and fresh-backed bread and smiled. "I haven't been out in so long you could have taken me to a soup kitchen and I would have been grateful. But this is especially nice."

"Well, it won't be hard for them to outdo the hospital cafeteria, I'm sure. Are you ready for your exams?"

"In my current frame of mind, I don't know if a year of studying would make me ready. But at least I have a fighting chance now. I'm certainly not going to ace them, but I may pass, if I'm lucky."

"I think it's your turn to be lucky."

Kaoru had to admit, at least to herself, that her thoughts were beginning to revolve more around _getting_ lucky than _being_ lucky. But she was trying not to let her mind go there. Kenshin wasn't ready to make a commitment, and she wasn't ready to have sex with him without one. She'd learned too much from Saitou, wasn't willing to set herself up for the hurt such premature intimacy would entail.

"Are you feeling okay about going ahead with the transplant?" he asked.

Since the decision was made, Kaoru had felt a measure of peace, but the worry that she'd made the wrong choice was always there in the back of her mind. "I think so."

Kenshin leaned back and hooked one arm over his chair. "Who's going to do it? Dr. Forte?"

"Dr. Vincent. He's the hematologist."

"Can you explain how it works?"

"They take the marrow of the donor from the posterior iliac crest-."

"In plan words, please, Student Doctor."

She chuckled. "Okay, the marrow is harvested from the donor's hip joint, usually from a series of small incisions in the back. It looks like blood, but it's thicker and contains the beginning of all the blood-cell lines. Through a process called hematopoesis, immature white blood cells, red blood cells and platelets are produced and mature to a certain level-before they enter the bloodstream."

"And these are a part of the body's immune system?"

"They perform many different functions. Besides fighting infections, they deliver oxygen to the body and control bleeding. Before a bone marrow transplant, the patient's marrow is destroyed through a series of high-dose chemotherapy and radiation treatments. That's what they're doing to Yahiko now. The transplant will provide him with new marrow containing stem cells that will grow, divide and mature into all the blood-cell likes the body needs."

"That's amazing." Kenshin said, obviously impressed. "They'll basically give him a new immune system. But marrow is in the hallow part of the bones, right? How do they get it at through small incisions?"

"They use a needle-syringe technique."

"Does it hurt?"

"The donors are under anesthesia so they don't felt anything, but I've heard some say that afterwards, it feels like they took a hard fall on ice and landed on their butt. They're stiff and sore in the hips and back for a couple of days, but they usually stay in the hospital only one night. Most donors are back to work in a couple of days."

"So how does Yahiko get the new stem-cells?"

"The marrow from the donor is filtered, then injected into one of his veins"

"Through like a IV or catheter line? So it won't be painful for him?"

"No it won't hurt him."

Kenshin sighed and shifted forward, leaning his elbows on the table. "That's good news. He seems so fragile. I've been worried the procedure would be hard on him."

"You've been very good to him, Kenshin. I've been meaning to tell you that I appreciate the attention you've given him. It's made a big difference in his life."

"It's nothing." He cleared his throat and changed the subject as though her praise embarrassed him. "When is your uncle coming back?"

"He called yesterday. He's not coming until Monday night." Just in time for the transplant surgery.

The waitress brought their food, and they nodded when she offered them fresh-ground pepper and Parmesan on their pastas. Kenshin had ordered a small, wood-oven-baked pizza, in addition to his pasta. He offered Kaoru a piece as the waitress left, and she accepted. Topped with red onion, goat cheese, artichoke hearts, and pancetta, it smelled delicious and was one of the most decadent things Kaoru had ever tasted.

"Mmm, that's good." She muttered around her first bite. "You have excellent taste."

Kenshin lifted an eyebrow at her. "I chose you to be the mother of my child, didn't I?"

Kaoru felt warmth start in the pit of her stomach that she couldn't credit entirely to the excellent food. "What were some of your other candidates like?"

Kenshin entertained her the rest of the meal with stories of the other applicants and their interviews, gifts and persistence. By the time he paid the bill an escorted her out of the restaurant with one hand on the small of her back, she was wondering why on earth he'd made the concessions he'd made with her. Certainly the other women who'd applied sounded much more eager and far less demanding. But probably none of them had a sick brother. He really was a soft-hearted guy.

"Kenshin!" A male voice boomed his name over the crowd of people still standing by the entryway, waiting to be seated and Kenshin turned. Kaoru followed his gaze to the man she'd met that first day in Kenshin's office.

"Sano, what are you doing here?" Kenshin asked, clapping his partner on the back.

"Celebrating the root Account, same as you probably." A young, leggy bottle blonde stood nest to Sanosuke, one arm looped through his while she nuzzled his shoulder. Sanosuke introduced her as Rokiko, and Kaoru took her long-fingered hand.

"Nice to meet you."

"Same here." She said.

"Kenshin's the man this week." Sanosuke announced. "We almost lost the Roost account on Friday, but he talked to the head boss and got him to agree to sign the contract next Thursday, after all, providing the costs fall within our estimates."

Kaoru glanced up at Kenshin, wondering why he hadn't told her about the close call. "What happened?"

"They had decided to meet with some other firms, just to see what else is out there." He told her. "I convinced him there wasn't any need to do so, that if he didn't end up liking the ads I'm putting together, we'd come up with something else, that we would."

"And they agreed to stick with you?"

"Fortunately"

"That's great." Kaoru said.

"It's better than great." Sanosuke added. "Once the Roost signs up, we'll be able to get other restaurants to follow."

Kenshin shrugged. "I don't know if it was as much of a close call as we thought. I think they didn't really want to go through with the hassle of meeting with different firms. They just wanted to be reassured they were doing the right thing."

"Well, he certainly wasn't letting me assure him of that. They didn't change their mind until after you called them." Sanosuke grinned at Kaoru. "But enough of business. We have even bigger things to celebrate than the Roost account. Kenshin tells me you're expecting."

Kaoru cleared her throat. Kenshin certainly wasn't wasting any time letting everyone know about the baby, if there was a baby. "Well, we're not absolutely positive yet, but we're hopeful."

"Congratulations." Rokiko murmured.

Kenshin cocked an eyebrow at his friend, and Sanosuke put his thumb and finger in the shape of a gun and pretended to fire at Kenshin. "There it is again. There's no hope for you, pal." Sanosuke said laughing as he steered his date inside.

"What was that about?" Kaoru asked as Kenshin opened the car door for her.

"Nothing."

She clicked on her seat belt and waited for Kenshin to come around and get in. "Those knowing glances between you and Sanosuke meant nothing? I felt like you two had some sort of private joke going between you."

Kenshin started the care and eased onto the road. "He wants to date you after we divorce." He glanced at her. "But you're not interested right?"

She wasn't. From their brief encounter, she could tell Sanosuke played fast and loose, which wasn't her type at all, But she wasn't about to let Kenshin dictate whom she would see once he tossed her back into the proverbial sea. "I take it you're the one who's not interested in having us date. Is it because of the baby? Are you afraid we might run into each other sometime? That could happen anyway, you know. It's not like one of us will be moving out of the city."

He took the next turn a little too fast, and Kaoru grabbed on to her door handle to keep from leaning into him. "He wouldn't be good for you." He said. "Sano doesn't want to get married, that he doesn't."

"And what makes you think I can't go out with a guy just for fun?"

She could feel Kenshin studying her in the darkened car. "Is that what you want Kaoru? Some fun? Because _I_ could show you that. And you can't be surprised I'd offer. I know you're aware of…whatever it is that's going on between us, that you are. I couldn't be feeling it so strongly if you were oblivious."

Kaoru's breath caught in her throat. "What are you telling me?" Kaoru leaned slightly away from him, watching his face as he glanced back and fourth between her and the road, his eyes swirling with strange color.

"That I'm frustrated!"

Frustration wasn't exactly what Kaoru had been hoping for. She crossed her arms and pretended to be interested in the convenience store on the corner as Kenshin slowed to turn up into the neighborhoods. "And you're taking your frustration out on me?"

"I'm not taking it out on you. I'm telling you that you're the reason."

"You don't think eighteen months without a sex life has anything to do with it?" She wasn't about to be his outlet.

"I think seeing you nude has everything to do with it."

Kaoru swallowed. "I told you, I didn't hear you come in-"

Kenshin scowled, his eyes swirled more color. "I'm not blaming you. It's my own fault. I thought you might be resting, so I let myself in as quietly as possible, but what I saw hasn't left me, and I don't think it's going to until…"

"Until?" Kaoru raised her eyebrows in challenge. It was interesting seeing Kenshin this way, his frustration and anger seemed to change him into a whole other person, but Kaoru wasn't afraid.

He pulled into her driveway and shut off the engine. "Until I see you naked again," he said softly, his voice rumbling deep. "Until I hold you, and mold you to my own body, and hear you cry out my name when I-"

"Stop!" Kaoru put up a hand to combat the dark intensity of his eyes. She wasn't sure if it was the streetlamps, but she swore they had turned the darkest of amber. He wasn't touching her, but his words and the need behind them was enough to raise goose bumps all along her spine, especially when she wanted what he wanted, only worse. If not for the experience at the Hakata Bar, where she'd learned how unsatisfying sex without commitment could be, she probably would have dragged his head to hers and silenced him with a kiss. Instead, she forced herself to open the door and made her trembling limbs support her as she got out. "I think maybe you should stay at your place tonight." She said, leaning back into the car.

A muscle clenched in his jaw and his hands tightened around the steering wheel. "You're not interested?"

"Not interested?" she chuckled in disbelief. She'd never wanted a man more. So she told him only a portion of the truth. "Let's just say I'm not interested in making another mistake," she said. Then, closing the door, she made her way to the front porch and into the house before she collapsed on the couch and chanted. "I did the right thing, I did the right thing. I did the right thing"

But no matter how hard she tried to convince herself, her heart always tagged a small question onto the end: "Didn't I?"

* * *

a/n things are getting complicated…and we still don't know if Kaoru's pregnant…or if she'll pass her finals…or if Yahiko will survive…and, well you get the idea lol. Thanks for reading everyone! Reviews are loved.


	16. The Last Straw

A/n Hi everyone. I hope everyone's having a great holiday. I had some really great reviews. But I wanted to remind everyone that this is just a writing exercise and I don't take much credit for it. Also I most likely will not post in this story again until after Christmas. And…that I've been working on a handful of other Fanfics for Kenshin… the going is very slow, due to my class. But once February rolls around I'm going to start posting my new stories and see if they are good enough to continue. I hope to see all of you there when the time comes.

Enough of my chatter, on to the story.

Disclaimer. I don't own Kenshin or the story.

Rating warning, Adult situations in this chapter.

* * *

Kenshin let his breath go all at once, feeling as if someone had just knocked the wind out of him. She shut him down cold, walked away, told him to go home. She thought making love with him would be a mistake. And he was fairly certain she was right.

Starting the car, he pulled out of the driveway, then paused in reverse for a moment while he struggled with the temptation to go back and bang on the door. He and Kaoru hadn't known each other long, but there was a powerful attraction between them. Part of him wanted to act on that attraction in the most literal sense, to confirm he'd been right about the signals she'd been sending him lately, signals that indicated she was every bit as tempted to take their relationship into the physical realm as he was. But she was hurting and looking for an anchor, so he couldn't put his trust in those signals. No man with a conscience would take advantage of a woman going through what Kaoru was going through-and he wanted to believe he had a conscience.

Throwing the transmission into drive, he peeled off, hoping to put as much distance between him and her house as possible before he changed his mind. He was going mad with wanting her, but he'd committed himself to support her though the pregnancy, in any way necessary, and he intended to do just that. She was giving him the child he'd wanted. That would have to be enough.

Unfortunately, at the moment, it didn't feel like enough.

For a fleeting moment he wondered what might have happened in their relationship if he'd never met Tomoe. Maybe he and Kaoru would have had a chance. There was certainly that spark. He always felt excited at the prospect of seeing her, being with her and he respected her a great deal. But he had met Tomoe. He'd married her; he'd loved her. And now he couldn't go on as if she'd never existed. What would that make of his promises? What would it say about his level of commitment?

His cell phone trilled and Kenshin answered, trying to mask his frustration with the Kaoru situation. There was no way to win here. He couldn't have her, and he couldn't leave her alone. Perhaps, if she wasn't already pregnant, they should call the whole thing off…

It was his mother. "Hi, Mom. How's Yahiko?" he asked.

"He's tired. Tae is sitting with him while he sleeps. Are you and Kaoru back from dinner?"

"Yeah."

"Is she studying, then?"

"No, I think she's studied all she can for one day. She's taking a break, that she is."

"Perfect. I have a surprise for her I'd like to bring over.

Kenshin pictured Kaoru's stiff way she carried herself as she let herself into her house. "Um, we're kind of tied, Mom-"

"We didn't get to be part of the wedding," Yukimi said, accusation ringing loud and clear in her voice.

"I know. I'm sorry. Considering the situation, we thought it best to elope."

"You didn't want your family to share in your happiness?"

"It wasn't that."

"Well you could have told us, at least. We would have liked to give Kaoru a bridal shower or something."

Kenshin's hold on his temper was questionable at best. He was hurting and angry and frustrated all at once, and the tension had been building from the moment he'd married Kaoru. Struggling to keep his voice neutral, he said, "The truth is, Mom, Kaoru and I had a little disagreement. I'm heading home tonight. Alone."

"Oh!" Silence then. "What did you say to her?"

"Nothing." How did he tell his mother that it was what he couldn't say to her that was the problem? He wanted to give Kaoru his heart, but he'd already promised forever to Tomoe. He could only offer his body.

"Then what happened."

"Mom, I don't want to talk about it. Don't worry. We're newlyweds, just getting used to each other. It'll be okay in the morning, that it will."

"Your father and I have been married thirty-five years and have never once gone to bed angry at each other. It's not right. If you want a marriage to last, you have to swallow your pride on a regular basis. Now turn yourself around and go back to her. It doesn't matter who was at fault. She needs you."

"I'm the last thing she needs right now."

"Then you're not thinking of her and that poor child." She argued. "It's no wonder Kaoru's having a hard time. There's nothing worse than watching your loved one suffer.

"He's mine now, too." Kenshin said, then wondered where the hell that had come from. Yahiko wasn't his. He never would be. Apparently he was taking his part as Kaoru's husband a little too seriously.

"I know, dear, but it's not quite the same. Kaoru's been going though this for almost a year. It's a wonder she'd managing as well as she is."

The guilt pressing down on Kenshin's chest grew heavier. _Thanks Mom._

"Go back and tell her you love her." Yukimi continued. "Then put your house up for sale. It's not good for you to have somewhere like that to hide out."

"We're keeping the house, Mom, for when Kaoru graduates from school. We won't need to stay so close to the university anymore" Which sounded good. He only hoped his mother would buy it.

"Then keep it," she said. "But don't stay there alone."

Kenshin sighed. Seeing the situation from his mother's perspective, he had to admit it was good advice. He'd already learned from Tomoe that the classic male response of retreating into silence and waiting for the argument to blow over wasn't half as effective as talking it out. But Yukimi didn't know the whole story this time, and Kenshin wasn't about to enlighten her.

"Are you turning back?" She asked.

Torn, Kenshin gave his mother a noncommittal reply, then drove silently home.

… . . …

When the doorbell rang, Kaoru looked through her peep hole and groaned. It was her in-laws. Her _temporary_ in-laws. And she was at her worst. Dressed in a shabby knee-length robe, she felt frustrated, tired, and worried, and she missed Kenshin.

Tightening her belt, she ran her fingers through her hair to tame it and took a deep breath. She wasn't sure she wanted company, but she certainly couldn't leave Yukimi and Kenta standing on the porch. "Hi There!" She said, throwing the door back and smiling with as much enthusiasm as she could muster.

"Hi, dear." Yukimi hugged her instantly and Kenta did the same. "How are you?"

_You mean other than the fact that I'm heard over heels in love with your son, who has no room in his heart for me, and my baby brother is in the hospital_? "Fine" Fortunately, the automatic response easily overrode her thoughts. Stepping back, Kaoru beckoned them in. "What a pleasant surprise."

Yukimi and her husband stepped inside and looked around, nodding their heads in satisfaction. "Oh, this is beautiful."

Kaoru knew Kenshin's house was twice as nice, but Yukimi seemed sincere. "Thanks, Please make yourselves comfortable." She indicated the couch and they positioned a purple gift bag between them before sitting down.

"I just talked to Kenshin." Yukimi said, looking sympathetic. "He told me about your little disagreement."

Kaoru blinked. "He did?"

"Yes, he said it was just a lover's quarrel, but I wanted to let you know not to worry about it. Disagreements are bound to happen in any marriage. But he's a good boy. He'll come around."

"I think we were both tired." Kaoru hedged, smoothing the fabric of her robe so she wouldn't have to look Yukimi in the eye.

"And with what you're going through, it's no wonder."

Kaoru was searching for a polite response when keys jingled in the lock and the front door swung open to reveal and cross-looking Kenshin.

"What are you doing here?" Kaoru asked, standing. "I thought-"

He scowled. "My mother reminded me that my place is here with you. It took me until I opened the door to my empty house to realize that she was right, that she was."

Kaoru wasn't sure how to take his words. What did he mean his place was with her? Instinctively her hand went to her belly. The baby, of course. She's never seen a man so dedicated to one goal.

"I told him the only way to keep a marriage intact is to put things right before going to sleep." Yukimi added, beaming now that she felt her son was finally behaving himself. "Always kiss and make up. That's what I say. And we'll get out of your way and let you do just that, but first I wanted to bring you a little something I had made." She extended the gift bag to Kaoru, and Kaoru took it, wondering at its slight weight.

"What's this for?" she asked. "My birthday isn't for six months."

It's just a little surprise I thought you'd like." Curious, Kaoru dug through the tissue paper and pulled Yukimi's gift out into the light. Her stomach did a little flip when she realized it was a picture of Kenshin and Yahiko, smiling, cheek to cheek, encased in a piece of clear plastic that was cut around their two shapes and made to stand on it's own. She loved it, knew, despite whatever happened with her and Kenshin, she'd treasure it always.

"Thank you," She muttered softly. "It's wonderful." She glanced up at Kenshin and saw his scowl darken, his purple eyes swirled and she wondered if he'd come back to appease his mother, or for some other reason. The look on his face certainly indicated that he wasn't entirely happy about being where he was.

We saw them at the mall and thought it was a perfect way to enjoy a good picture," Yukimi was saying as she and Kenta stood to go. "You can set it out wherever you want it, on a shelf or table, so you can see it all the time."

Kaoru knew she'd need no reminder of Kenshin. If Yahiko survived the operation, she'd owe her brother's life to him. "Thank you." She repeated. "It was very thoughtful of you."

Yukimi hugged her again. "We're happy you're part of the family," she said simply, and she and Kenta left.

Part of the family. Kaoru stood at the door, closing her eyes and listening to the sudden silence. She hated feeling like a fraud, hated knowing that Kenshin's parents were lavishing love on her under false claims. Yet a small part of her desperately wanted to believe that the love was real, that they would be part of her life forever. Kami, what was she going to do when it all unraveled?

… . . …

From where he stood across the room, Kenshin watched Kaoru at the door and frowned at her bent head. He shouldn't have come back. After he'd spoken to his mother in the car, he'd decided that he really shouldn't leave Kaoru alone with his parents. Without him, the true nature of their relationship would come pouring out of Kaoru in a matter of minutes, he told himself, as it nearly had at the hospital. But deep down, he knew it was only an excuse to be where he wanted to be in the first place.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"I really like your parents." She said. "I like your whole family." Kaoru couldn't help it. When her father left, and when her mother died, Kaoru had been aching for a family. The kind of family you supported and leaned on and gave and received love.

"They like you, too. At first I wondered how well they'd accept you, considering all the surprises we've dropped on them, but they seem to like you just as much as-" he caught himself before Tomoe's name slipped out, wondering how easily it had come to his lips. "Never mind."

Kaoru turned and gazed at him with those unique, mesmerizing eyes. The delicate structure of her face, full of the classic beauty he'd admired from the start, was clearly visible in the halo of the lamp not far from her. "You can talk about her, you know." She said. "I've wondered why you rarely do. Obviously she's in your thoughts."

He shrugged. "We had a good marriage, but there's no need to bore you with the details." Details that used to be painful for him. But is seemed to be getting easier to think about Tomoe, which meant he could talk about her, too. Only he didn't want to discuss her with Kaoru.

Kaoru moved to the chair by the window and sat down, and Kenshin tried to ignore what the sight of her bare legs did to him. Was she naked under that silky robe? He felt his body respond instantly to that thought, and sat down himself, to hide his arousal and his surprise that he could react in such a way with the thoughts of Tomoe still lingering in his mind. Things were changing for the better. He felt guilty, which was something he hadn't experienced this strongly for a long time, and didn't particularly like.

"I'm sorry that you miss her terribly." She said.

He ran a hand through his hair, telling himself not to be distracted anymore by the smooth pale skin on her legs, not to imagine them wrapped around him. "Life doesn't always turn out the way we plan. No one knows that better than you."

"I guess pain is sometimes the price of loving so hard. But eventually, you have to let go of the side of the pool, so to speak."

Kenshin had never looked at love that way, but Kaoru was right. He'd always thought it was loyalty that kept him from letting go of Tomoe, but maybe he was just hanging on to the edge of the pool. Maybe he was afraid to love again, to open himself up to the possibility of feeling so incredible loss a second time. If so, it made sense that he'd shy away from Kaoru. She and Yahiko weren't a very good gamble, not with Yahiko so ill. "What about you? Do you miss being married?" he asked her.

She flashed him her diamond. "Why would I? I _am_ married remember."

He raised his eyebrows. "Take it from me; marriage is a lot more than we're making it."

A sad smile curved her lips. "Too bad Saitou and I weren't a very good example of that." Bending, she picked up the picture Kenshin's mother had given her and stood. "I'm going to turn in, feel free to use the guest room if you like."

Kenshin watched her cross in front of him, hating the thought of letting her slip away and wishing there was something he could say to keep her, when she paused on her own. She studied the picture in her hands, arranged it on the table closest to her, then glanced back.

"Or you can sleep with me, if you still want to." She added in a rush and hurried down the hall.

… . . …

Kaoru sat on the edge of her bed without moving, listening for any sound of Kenshin's movements. He hadn't left the living room yet. Was he going to take her up on her offer? Was she out of her mind for making it?

Yes! Surely she'd thrown caution to the wind. She'd laid all her card on the table and now felt more vulnerable than she'd ever felt in her life. Would he reject her the way she'd rejected him? Would he want to talk first, make some adjustments to their little agreement? Or would he come in a make love to her the way she wanted him to, with passion and abandon and complete absorption?

It was difficult to tell. Even since he'd returned to the house, he seemed tense, almost angry. At her? or himself? What was going on in his mind?

A soft knock and Kenshin voice calling her name brought Kaoru's heart into her throat. She jumped to her feet, glanced frantically at her closet, wondering if she should put on something more appealing that her summer robe, then decided it was too late. Crossing to the door, she opened it a crack.

"Are you going to let me in?" he asked when she didn't open it all the way. He sounded hopeful, unsure. "Or have you changed your mind?"

Kaoru hadn't changed her mind. She hadn't made it up to begin with. She was living minute to minute. "I was thinking about changing into something you might like better." She admitted truthfully.

His gaze raked her from head to foot, his eyes full of appreciation, his jaw ridged with control. "I like you just was way you are."

Kaoru felt something flutter in her chest at the apparent need in his voice. She stepped back, opening the door wider, and he entered her room only a fraction of a second before his hands slipped inside her robe and closed around the bare skin of her waist. He sucked in a long breath and closed his eyes, then started running his fingers over the plane of her stomach, the valley of her spine and finally, her breasts.

Bending her slightly back, over one arm, Kenshin pressed kisses up the column of her throat to her ear and across her cheek. "You're so sweet, Kaoru, so perfect, that you are." His voice husky and deep.

Kaoru felt her body go boneless at the feel of him pressed against her, his breath rasping softly in her ear. Finally his mouth touched hers lightly at first, gently, then his kiss went deep as he parted her lips and tasted her for the first time. If not for Kenshin's arms, Kaoru feared her legs would give way completely. Never had she been kissed so expertly, so hungrily, so sincerely. It was enough to make the room shift and swirl.

She ran her hands over the hard ridges of his chest and back and began to tug at his shirttail. He helped her remove his shirt, then took her back in his arms. Kaoru gloried in the smooth feel of his skin and the clean, masculine scent of him as she delved into the thickness of his hair, letting the silky crimson locks slide through her fingers and she gently pulled the simple tie holding his hair back.

"You have a wicked kiss." She whispered.

"I hope I've got more than that to interest you," he growled low in his throat, and the promise in his words made something clutch below Kaoru's stomach. He tightened his grip on her, letting her feel his arousal, then his hands began moving again, exploring, as his tongue slid against hers.

Kaoru had lived for this moment. That was all there was to it. She was going to bear Kenshin's child whether they were in love when they'd married, he was her husband, and she was in love with him now. Certainly she could welcome him into her bed.

"Let me see you." He said, tugging on her robe.

Kaoru tensed, worried, suddenly, that Kenshin would not find her beautiful. But her moment of insecurity vanished when her robe fell away and Kenshin stood back to admire her. As his gaze scanned her body, a sensual smile curled his lips. "You're incredible, Kaoru," he whispered, his voice hoarse. Raising a palm to cup one breast, he bowed his head to kiss her neck, moving lower until he licked the sensitive nipple, causing the muscle below Kaoru's belly to clutch again.

"You're everything a man could want, that you are." he murmured, suckling one breast while teasing the other.

She lifted his chin and kissed him again, she could feel her heart pounding in his chest, keeping time with her own. His spiraling excitement sent hers even higher. Cupping her bottom, he angled her hips into his own and Kaoru's breath caught.

"I want you." She gasped, wondering if he knew he was tying the very core of her into a tight knot only he could unravel.

"Tell me that again," he breathed before his mouth closed over her other breast. "Tell me it again and again, and I'll make sure you're as pregnant as I hope you are."

Kaoru wanted him physically, but there was another dimension to her pleasure that was humming through ever cell of her body, something she could no longer contain.

"I love you." She whispered.

Suddenly he went still, except for his chest, which heaved in and out with his breathing. After a moment he stepped away, ran a hand through his tousled hair and picked up her robe, then belatedly tried to drape it back around her. "I'm sorry." He said, obviously shaken. "I shouldn't have let that happen. I know better."

Rubber-limbed, Kaoru struggled to rein in her raging hormones long enough to tie the belt to her robe. She wanted to act as though it was nothing, that she wasn't shaken to her very center, but she had no emotional strength or deception left.

"I think we should talk, that I do." He said at last. "I'll be in the living room. Come out when…when you're ready."

Mortified by his unexpected and complete withdrawal, Kaoru slumped onto the bed, her face burning with embarrassment. She'd offered him her heart, her body, her future on a silver platter, and he'd turned her away. All because of three little words.

Tears stung Kaoru's eyes, but she pressed her fists against the sockets to block them. She wouldn't cry, dammit. She wouldn't cry over a man she already knew was still in love with his dead wife. She'd been a fool to risk what she had. "Damn you." She whispered, but she wasn't sure if she was cursing Tomoe, Kenshin or herself.

"Kaoru? Are you coming?" Kenshin stood just outside the partly opened door, but he advanced no further.

"Can you give me a minute?" She asked, trying to keep the wobble out of her voice. "That kind of rejection packs a pretty big punch."

He hesitated for a minute, then, "I didn't reject you, Kaoru. I just …I just can't accept your terms for intimacy. And I know you wouldn't be happy with mine."

"So what do you want to talk about?" She asked dully.

"I want you to know how much I wish things could be different. I want you to know I never meant to take advantage of you or hurt you or…I…" Words seemed to fail him.

She sighed. "I know, Kenshin. You don't love me. Just go home to your empty house and your memories, okay?"

He stood there without speaking for a long moment. "Is that it then?"

"I don't know what more to say. Are you worried about what our families will think?"

"I hadn't gotten that far."

"Well when you get there, know this: The game is over. I can't pretend anymore."

"So you want to tell everyone we're divorcing?"

"I guess."

"What about Yahiko?"

"I'll explain to him we're all going to be friends, that you'll come see him sometimes. Your visits will be infrequent and get more infrequent until he forgets you." _At least I hope he'll forgets you. Kami knows I never will._

"And the baby? If you're pregnant I mean…"

Kaoru thought she heard tears in his voice, but steeled herself against them. "I'll call you when it's born." She said, unable to think beyond that moment. The desire had fled and now she felt-what? Nothing. Numb.

He didn't say anything. He stared at her, a world of pain and confusion in his eyes. Then, after a moment, he left.

* * *

A/N…..::Ducks and hides from reviewers::…


	17. The Change

A/n Wow I lived. Well I made it through with only a few cuts and bruises…maybe a flesh wound. I didn't think that last chapter would provoke so many people. Majority of you agree that Kenshin is a jerk…and that I'm evil. Lol not that I mind being evil…it's fun. Alas I can no longer be so evil so here is the next chapter many of you have been threatening me for.

Disclaimer: I do not own this story or these characters.

* * *

He'd known better, dammit! When he'd spoke to his mother after he'd dropped Kaoru off, he'd know better than to return to her house. But he'd ignored his better judgment and gone back and things had quickly gotten out of control, just as he'd know they would. What the hell was wrong with him anyway? Kenshin wondered. He used to believe himself a decent man. But that was when he was a loving husband, a father-to-be, proudly working and caring for his little family. Now he was just a lonely widower taking advantage of an even lonelier divorcee with a dying baby brother.

Yahiko. Kenshin's heart twisted at the thought of losing him. He called him Oni-chan…big brother and held his spindly arms out for him every time he'd crossed the threshold to his room, smiling like he was Santa Claus. A man would have to be made of stone not to love him instantly. Yet he'd tried to bail out, at least emotionally, several times. But it hadn't worked, and now it was too late. If Yahiko didn't survive his cancer, he was going to hurt, just as he had when Tomoe and their son died. There was no avoiding it.

But he could avoid hurting Kaoru again, he decided, growing more and more resolve. If only he could remember, especially when he was around her, that to all intents and purpose, he was still devoted to Tomoe. Kaoru was the only woman who could make him forget that, but the forgetting could never last long enough to let their marriage work. Which was the crux of the problem, wasn't it.

Good thing he'd left her house tonight before it was too late, too bad he hadn't left even earlier. The more physical he let their relationship becomes, the more damage his leaving would cause. He'd see the next nine months through by respecting Kaoru's directive to keep his distance, and soon she'd realize that her love for him wasn't what she thought it was.

He must have been crazy to think he could watch her grow big with his child, take her to Lamaze classes and share in the birth. Sano was right. All of that sucked him in too deep. If Kaoru was pregnant, the only way out was to take charge of the baby _after_ she delivered-and to stay as far away from her as possible until then. There was just one thing he had to do first. He had to see her through Yahiko's operation Tuesday morning. He couldn't leave her to face that on her own.

… . . …

"You look tired. Haven't you been sleeping?" Kaoru's uncle asked.

Kaoru rubbed her eyes and pretended great interest in the last chapter of The Science of Medicine. She hadn't slept. She'd lain awake all night, calling Kenshin every name in the book and wondering how she could have been foolish enough to fall in love with a man who'd hired her to have his baby, and then she'd gotten up early to pick her uncle up at the airport. Gensai had flown in a day early to surprise the newlyweds, only to find they'd already broken up.

"I asked you if you're sleeping, Kaoru."

"Mm-hmm." Kaoru murmured.

"Come on, sweetheart, he's not worth it." he said.

"Don't do this to yourself. You know what I've always said about men. Maybe now you'll believe me."

"He's just in love with someone else. That doesn't make him a creep." Kaoru glanced at Yahiko to make sure he was as fully engrossed in his battery-operated keyboard as he sounded. "And I don't want you doing your male-bashing in front of Yahiko. He'll develop a complex."

"Maybe he'll learn how to treat people."

"Uncle Gensai!"

"Oh, all right." His eyes narrowed and dropped to Kaoru's stomach. "Yukimi told me you were pregnant already. Is that true?"

Kaoru frowned. "I don't know for sure yet. I haven't had a test, but I'm going to get one in the next few days."

"Well, if you are pregnant and you don't think it's a travesty that Kenshin would get you that way and then leave you, you haven't got a lick of sense."

Her uncle was probably right about her lack of sense. But she couldn't blame Kenshin for the baby. She'd done what she'd done knowing he didn't love her.

"Have you told Yahiko?"

Kaoru glanced at her brother again. "You mean about the baby?"

Gnesai nodded.

"Kenshin told his parents so soon I had to tell him there was a good possibility."

"Was he excited?"

The keyboard blared on a sour note and Kaoru winced. "I think so, although it probably doesn't seem real to him yet. When I'm showing, he might talk about it more." She stood to turn the volume down on Yahiko's toy

"Are you ready for your finals?" Her uncle asked, changing the subject.

"I'm going to school next year, Uncle Gensai!" Yahiko interrupted, causing Kaoru an all-too-familiar pang in her chest. Would her brother ever go to school?

"Yes, Yahi-kun, if you're well by then." Kaoru said then looked up at her Uncle. "I'm as ready for my finals as I can be, under the circumstances."

"Good." Gensai rounded Yahiko's bed and draped an arm across Kaoru's shoulders, giving her a little squeeze. "I'm proud of you, you know. I think I should have told you that more often."

Kaoru smiled. "Thanks Uncle Gensai."

… . . …

Kenshin took a deep breath before walking into Yahiko's hospital room. He hadn't talked to Kaoru since he'd left her house two night ago and he had no idea how she might receive him, but he had to see Yahiko again, before the transplant, before the big risk. Except that every day contained a risk for Yahiko, didn't it? They could lose him at any time.

Kaoru's uncle, his mother, Misao and his sister were already there. Tae smiled and got up to give him a hug but Gensai wouldn't speak to him and neither would his own mother or Misao. He'd told Yukimi on the phone yesterday that he and Kaoru were having problems and would probably divorce after the baby was born. She'd ranted that she couldn't believe he'd even talk about splitting up, with a baby on the way and Kaoru going through what she was. Then she'd planted her support firmly in Kaoru's camp and was making sure he felt it.

What Kaoru had told Gensai and Misao, he had no idea, but their hostility ran far deeper than his mother's. His own mother would forgive him eventually; her heart was too soft to hold a grudge, but he had a sneaking suspicion Gensai would slash his tires if given the chance. Not that it matter what they thought of him later, he wouldn't ever see any of them again.

What a mess, he thought, biting back a sigh. Apparently his creative side had finally gotten him into trouble, instead of out of it. Sano had laughed at his morose mood all day yesterday until Kenshin packed up his briefcase and headed home to work. The last thing he wanted to hear was 'I told you so.' Especially because his wasn't the only life he'd screwed up with his unconventional solution to obtaining a son or daughter. Kaoru was in it deeper than he was.

Or at least that was what he thought until her eyes flickered over him, containing none of the warmth he'd grown accustomed to seeing in their sapphire blue depths. He couldn't blame her for being angry with him. What surprised him was the way his own heart sank at her coolness.

_She's crossed you off her list, and that's good_. He told himself. _She's a smart girl, that she is. Strong. She doesn't need you._

Which should have made him feel better. Instead it made him feel worse.

"Oni-chan!" Yahiko finally spotted him through the bevy of doctors and nurses surrounding his bed, drawing blood, talking him through the procedure to come and checking his catheter.

Kenshin smiled. "Hey Kid." The crowd parted for him to be able to see him and give him a hug. "You all set for this?"

He nodded. "It's going to make me better." He announced. "I had a dream last night. You and me were flying a kite. I was running. And I had hair." He added proudly.

The ache in Kenshin's gut turned into a sharp pain. Part of him wished he'd never met Kaoru, never learned of Yahiko's sickness so he could have avoided this day. But the other part, the bigger part, believed the joy of knowing such a sweet child was worth the pain.

Just like knowing Tomoe had been worth the loss. Maybe he needed to think a little more about letting go of the side of the pool…

"You get better, and we will fly that kite." He promised.

Standing. Kaoru nudged him out. She didn't look at him but her body was so rigid he could tell his words had invoked her anger. He could almost hear her accusing. How dare you tell him you'll to anything with him?

"Kaoru-chan, will be there with you, so you're not going to be scared, are you?" She said to Yahiko.

Yahiko shook his head. "Dr. Forte promised it wouldn't hurt."

Kenshin saw Kaoru bite her lipe and knew she wasn't worried about the operation, but what might happen afterward. He worried with her. "No the operation won't hurt."

"Mrs. Himura?" the nurse who'd been sitting at the nurses station when Kenshin was scrubbing up poke her head into the room. "I've spoke with Seta Soujrou. He's agreed to let you see him before the transplant."

… . . …

How did a person thank someone for giving their loved one a second chance at life? Kaoru stood at the entrance to the hospital room, gazing in at the man named Soujrou. A bit short but gangly, he had a little acne on his cheeks and chin and wore glasses. He looked very much the college kid he was. With a mop of hair on his head he wasn't much to look at, certainly not anything that would turn a woman's head. Still…to Kaoru he was beautiful, because he could be anywhere else, going about his life, going to school, seeing a movie, visiting his mother. Instead he was here in the hospital with her, for Yahiko, willing to walk the proverbial extra mile to save a dying child.

Her brother. _Thank Kami for this young man and his generous heart,_ she thought.

A news channel blared on the television, but the moment he saw her, he flipped it off with the remote. "Hi," he said, looking shy and self-conscious, but his smile was genuine.

Kaoru smiled and entered the room. "Thank you for letting me stop by before the transplant."

He shrugged, his smile never faltering, but his gaze dropped to the blankets that covered his legs. "Sure, why not?"

"If we'd had found you through the Marrow Donor Program, we would have had to wait a year before making direct contact."

"Oh, Yeah?"

"Yeah, it's suppose to protect both the donor and the recipient, but meeting you is making me feel a lot better about what's happening. I appreciate your willingness to take the risk on our behalf."

He cleared his throat, "No problem."

"What made you come in and be tested in the first place?" She asked.

"I saw the flyer posted in the library at school."

"You go to the University then?"

He nodded. "I'm a business major; actually my brother is a med student. He's mentioned you a time or two, and was tested himself, so when I saw you putting up that flyer in the library, I thought I'd be tested, too."

"Thanks," Kaoru said simply. "I can't tell you how grateful I am."

"You don't have to be grateful. I just hope everything works out for your little brother."

Kaoru hesitated, knowing she should leave but wanting one last thing from this young man. "Can I hug you, Soujrou? Would that be okay?"

He looked slightly more uncomfortable than he had before, but he nodded, and Kaoru put her arms around him. "Thank you." She whispered.

She felt his arms tighten around her for the briefest moment, then he pulled awkwardly away. But Kaoru thought it was the best hug she'd ever had.

"Kami will bless you." She murmured, and left.

… . . …

The transplant went smoothly. Kaoru stayed with Yahiko until it was over, then headed to the lobby where she knew Kenshin and his mother and sister were waiting, along with her uncle and Misao. When she arrived, she saw the women seated together on one side of the lobby with her uncle and Kenshin by himself on the other, pacing near the far wall. His sister occasionally tossed him a sympathetic look, but his mother and Misao refused to acknowledge his presence, and Gensai looked as though he'd give him a good piece of his mind at the first opportunity.

Kaoru wondered if she should try to talk to them. How they were treating Kenshin wasn't really fair, but with everything else going on in her life right now, she couldn't face sorting through the reasons. Kenshin was a big boy. Certainly he could handle the consequences of their little business arrangement. He'd made Yahiko's operation possible, but she'd pay him in full measure with a baby, even if she wasn't pregnant now. Beyond that, she owed him nothing.

"How did it go?" her uncle asked as soon as Gensai saw her. Misao stood, the others looked up expectantly, and Kenshin hovered closer.

"Fine. Everything went fine." She smiled, feeling the relief of it. So far, so good, she wanted to add. They're taking Yahiko to his room right now."

Misao swallowed her in a hug, Yukimi followed suit. "I was praying for him, the poor thing. Thank Kami it went well."

Kaoru nodded, trying not to let her eyes dart to Kenshin, trying not to read the expression on his face or acknowledge the longing she felt in his presence. "Thanks for coming everyone," She said.

"We're not going anywhere, dear." Yukimi said. "It's just about time for lunch. Why don't you go ahead and study for tomorrow's finals and your uncle and I, or Misao will go sit with Yahiko. He'll nap most of the afternoon anyway. I'm sure. He's been pretty tired lately."

"Anyone who goes in has to wear a mask."

"We can do that." Misao said.

One last opportunity to study… "You'll call me if anything goes wrong?" Kaoru asked.

"Everything will be fine." Gensai chimed in.

Kaoru nodded. "Then I think I will study. No use failing my first exam huh?" She gave them all a weak smile, forever conscious of Kenshin standing just a few feet away. He'd said she wouldn't be happy with intimacy on his terms, but sometimes her resolve felt so weak she thought she'd accept him on any terms.

She knew she was better off boarding up her heart and forcing it into cold storage, however, which was what she was trying to do now, but it wouldn't listen to her. It thumped against her rib cage at the merest thought of him. And her mind was in collusion with her heart, because every time she dropped her guard, it played back the memory of him touching her, kissing her. The hurt she'd gone through with Saitou had been bad, but she'd been able to console herself with the fact that he hadn't turned out to be the type of man she wanted to share her whole life with, anyway. Occasionally she missed his smile and his dry jokes but his affairs had caused her to loose too much respect for him. By the time he'd left, most of her love had died, too. But getting over Kenshin was going to be infinitely more difficult, because he was so much more to lose.

"Kenshin, don't you have to go back to work or something?" His mother demanded, tossing him a cold glance.

Kenshin grimaced but finally caved in to the hostility surrounding him and he stalked out. Kaoru would have felt sorry for him except that she couldn't afford to soften when he was concerned. She waited for the others to gather their handbags, then went up to tell Yahiko goodbye before snagging her backpack out of a chair and setting off to the university library.

Her hopes of becoming a doctor hung on one more week.

… . . …

Her first final was in hematopathology. At nine'o clock Tuesday morning. Kaoru sat down in the testing center and stared at the ten-page exam. Then she broke into a cold sweat.

Taking a deep breath through her nose, Kaoru decided she had to relax. She wouldn't be able to think if she didn't calm down. The exam was going to be difficult enough without heart palpitations and dizzy spells. Flexing her fingers, she shook them out, then gripped her pencil, careful not the raise her eyes to the level of the other students for fear the testing monitor would think she was trying to cheat. She could do this. She hadn't been able to attend the lectures as much as she would have liked, but hematopathology was her favorite class, and she'd read the material several times.

Only problem was, she hadn't been able to concentrate very well. She wrote her name on the test and filled in the bubbles that would enable the computer to score her work, then her mind strayed to Yahiko and how well her brother had survived his first day after the transplant. The doctors were saying that the marrow was already starting to engraft, and so far there hadn't been any hint of rejection. Could it be possible that this less-than-perfect match was one Yahiko's body would accept.

It would be a miracle, a miracle mad possible by a short, skinny man name Seta Soujrou. Kaoru pictured him lying in the hospital bed, and her heart swelled with gratitude. Fortunately Soujrou hadn't developed any complications from the transplant, either, and had been released that morning. Kaoru had stopped by the hospital to wish him well, but he'd already left without leaving any word for her and, apparently, without expecting any further thanks.

A testing monitor walked slowly past Kaou's desk, drawing her attention back to the exam. _Focus_, she ordered herself, and started on the first question. She'd managed to work her way through two pages before Kenshin stole into her thoughts. Then she set down her pencil and rubbed her eyes. She missed him. A full day hadn't passed since she'd seen him, but it felt like forever. Was he at work? Going on with his life as though they'd never met? Hoping she was pregnant? Hoping she wasn't?

Turning to page three, Kaoru picked up her pencil and got back to work. She was going to pass this exam, she promised herself, and all the others. She couldn't control Yahiko's illness and she couldn't control Kenshin's heart, but she could take charge of her personal success. She'd cram all week, give each subject her very best and bet back to the original plan for her life-the one that didn't include a man. And, Kami willing, Yahiko would get well and start school next fall, and he would go on to his third year.

What if there was a baby?

Kaoru glanced at her watch. She had forty minutes left. After her exam, she'd go straight to the hospital and have them give her a pregnancy test. She'd been trying to allow enough time for her body to secret the hormones associated with pregnancy so the reading would be accurate. But she couldn't wait any longer.

… . . …

Kenshin sat at his desk and stared down at the 3x5 glossy photo of him and Kaoru standing side by side at their wedding, and he let himself think of her for the first time in more than a week. He'd been so behind at the office, that it hadn't been difficult to throw himself back into developing new ad campaigns, meeting with directors for various commercials, sitting through auditions for the actors, and wining and dining local radio execs. Since Tomoe had died, he'd grown accustomed to ignoring his emotions and burying himself in work.

He was in charge. Things were back on track and going well. He visited Yahiko twice, both times while Kaoru was taking one of her exams, and had finally made up with his mother. She still badgered him about trying to make his marriage work, but other than that, he hadn't let himself dwell on Kaoru. He hadn't even thought of her.

Okay, he'd had a couple of dreams where he'd finished what he'd started that night in her room. But he couldn't expect himself to be able to control his dreams. Dreams just happened. All he could do was forget her as soon as he awoke, and he did that right away. Well, maybe not _right away_. It usually took him a good couple of hours to get her off his mind completely. But by lunchtime…or maybe it was closer to four o' clock, every thought of his new wife was well buried.

Except this afternoon. He'd forgotten he asked his secretary to have the roll of film he taken developed. He'd returned from lunch with Sano and the owner of the Roost where they spent two hours going over the revised budget for the new Roost commercials, to find envelop of photos on his desk. And now he couldn't help smiling at the sight of Kaoru wearing that fabulous, formfitting dress.

"That's a sight I haven't seen for several days." His secretary observed, marching into his office to drop a stack of mail on his desk.

"What sight?" he murmured, still mesmerized by Kaoru and the memories the pictures evoked. She'd been so nervous that day, so vulnerable and beautiful…

"You're smiling." She said. "You've been scowling and growling for over a week now, and working harder than I've ever seen you work. And you were a far cry from lazy before."

Kenshin shoved the pictures away, feeling the scowl return. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said, going through the stack of envelops she'd brought him.

"Oh yeah?" Well, everyone else around here does. Just ask them. We're all trying to decide exactly what's bothering you. We think Sanosuke might know, but he won't say."

Kenshin paused midway though the mail. At least Sanosuke had left him that one small dignity. Maybe he wasn't such a bad guy after all. He'd quit laughing at him, too, but now he was starting to give him pitying, I'm-worried-about-you looks, and that was at least twice annoying. "There's nothing wrong."

"I thought you'd say that." His secretary sighed loudly and headed back to her station out front of his office.

"Close the door behind you. I don't want to be disturbed, that I don't."

"Heaven forbid." She muttered, but the door had hardly clicked shut when Kenshin came across an envelope from the Primary Care hospital. Was it a bill? Had there been additional charges for Yahiko's transplant that Kaoru couldn't afford? Slipping his finger under the lip, he tore the envelop and pulled out something that looked like a lab report and bill combined. They wanted six thousand, three hundred yen for something. He didn't understand the percentages and medical inscriptions on the report, but he recognized the name of the patient at the top: Himura Kaoru.

And the handwriting at the bottom was clear as crystal.

_As you can see, the pregnancy test came back positive. Congratulations! The baby is due on Valentine's Day. I'll contact you closer to that time. – Kaoru. _

_

* * *

  
_

A/n Valentines Day in Japan is celebrated by the women giving men chocolate…but looks like Kaoru will be gifting Kenshin with a baby instead. Seems to me they are a little obsessed with each other. Trying so hard to not think about one another that they can't help but think about one another. But now Kaoru's pregnant…and things are going to twist. Thanks for reading! (and allowing me to live long enough to finish this chapter) Reviews are loved!


	18. The Expectations

A/n I hope everyone is doing well. I had many thought provoking reviews for the last chapter. I appreciate all of them.

News: I leased a house with my fiancé. We'll be moving at any day now and it's been crazy with the packing that's going on. And because of the move, there may be some time before we get internet at our new place so if I don't update for a while, I'm not dead or giving up…I'm unpacking lol. The good news is…with no cable or internet for a while… I may catch up on all my fanfic writing that I've fallen behind on. Yay!

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or this story.

* * *

Call her.

Kenshin stared at the phone from where he sat on the couch and wished he'd stayed at work. He would have, had he not been too exhausted to think. He needed to relax and escape before he blew a gasket. His secretary and everyone else in the office had ordered him home. So here he was, at eight o'clock on a Friday night, trying to watch a movie, but even the action flick wasn't enough to capture his attention tonight.

He eyed the phone again. What could one little conversation hurt? Kaoru was going to have his baby. He just wanted to talk to her, make sure she was doing okay, ask if she needed anything. But he was afraid if he called, he'd head straight over there. And the moment she opened the door, he'd sweep her into his arms. And then he'd be right back where he was ten days ago.

No, he'd already let Kaoru down as easily as he could and he'd set his family straight that everything was over between them. Yahiko was doing great, better every day, from what his mother said and from what he'd seen himself. If everything went as planned, he was getting out of the hospital Wednesday. And Kaoru wasn't going to contact him until she was ready to deliver. She'd made that clear in the note she wrote on that lab report she'd forwarded to him. She'd let him go just that easily, and hadn't even called. She was probably over him already.

So everything was downhill from here. Except that he was going out of his mind. But better him than her.

Hauling himself to his feet, he crossed to the phone and called Sanosuke. "Hey, what are you doing tonight?"

"Kenshin? Is that you, man?"

Kenshin could hear a woman whispering something in the background and wondered if he'd called Sanosuke at a bad time. "Yeah, it's me. I didn't realize you had company though. Why don't you call me back tomorrow?"

"No, Uh, it's okay. Listen, remember Rokiko? You met her outside that Italian place a few weeks ago?"

When he was with Kaoru. Kenshin remembered her, but was surprised Sano did. Most of his girlfriends didn't last two weeks. "Yeah."

"Well she's here tonight, and she has this gorgeous friend, a real knockout man. She's a friendly girl, if you know what I mean. Why don't you come over? We'll get the two of you together, have a little party."

Kenshin considered the kind of party Sano had in mind and wondered why he couldn't muster up any enthusiasm about it. Wasn't his excuse for wanting Kaoru was because he hadn't has sex in eighteen months? So where was all that libido now?

"Actually I'm pretty tired." He said. "I think I'll go to bed."

"Man, what's up with you?" Sanosuke demanded. "How long are you going to mourn? You're turning into a freakin' hermit."

"I'm just not interested in getting in on with some girl I don't even know, that I don't."

"Give her a chance. How do you know you don't want her until you've seen her? I'm telling you, she's hot!"

"I'm married!"

"You're in love again, that's what you are. Only you're too stubborn to face it and too scared to let go of the old and bring in the new."

Anger flashed through Kenshin, causing his hand to tighten on the phone until the muscles of his arm stood out in relief. If Sanosuke had said that to his face, he might have hit him. "What the hell would you know about it? You're so afraid of commitment that you won't take the same girl out more than three times in a row. Neither will you date anyone deep enough to tempt you to have a real relationship."

"Hey I'm not the one with a thorn in my paw, buddy. And I'm not going to give you the target you want. You've been spoiling for a fight ever since you broke it off with Kaoru. Why don't you make it easy on both of us and call her?"

Kenshin opened his mouth to make a retort worthy of all the anger and frustration stewing inside of him, but Sanosuke hung up, leaving him with nothing but a dial tone.

Slamming the phone down, he cursed aloud and dialed Kaoru. She answered on the fourth ring, just before he expected her machine to pick up.

"Hello?" she sounded as if she'd had rushed for the phone.

"It's me." He said, and held his breath, hoping for…something. What he got was silence. "I want to see you."

"Why?"

Kenshin blinked. "What do you mean why? I'm…I just have to see you."

"Sorry." She said. "It's not in our agreement." And then she hung up.

… . . …

"What do all the blood and X rays reveal?" Kaoru sat across from Dr. Forte in his office at the hospital. It had been thirteen days since the transplant. She'd finished all of her finals and felt fairly comfortable that she'd passed two, but the others? She couldn't say. They'd been difficult. She struggled through and done her best, but she didn't know if she'd succeeded or not. Grades hadn't been posted yet. There was a chance they'd be up today. If not, then later in the week. But Kaoru was more worried about Yahiko. The doctors had been running tests all week, checking for cancer cells. Kaoru dug her nails into her palms as she waited to hear the results.

Dr. Forte smiled. "We agree that Yahiko's prognosis is very hopeful. I don't have to warn you that things can change." He said, raising a cautioning hand. "But for now Yahiko's body seems to be accepting the new marrow with a minimum of problems."

"Does that mean he can come home as planed?"

"He's had a little jaundice. We'd like to keep him an extra two days so we can make sure his liver continues to function properly, but I don't see any reason why he can't go home on Friday. I think children recover much more quickly in their own environment. Just watch him closely for any sign of rash or fever."

Kaoru couldn't believe it. That was it? After spending nearly a year in and out of the hospital and nearly one hundred days straight during this last stretch, Yahiko might be well enough to come home on Friday? That was only three days away! She'd been hoping for it, telling herself to plan on it, but deep down, she'd feared something would happen to snatch that homecoming away.

"For good?" She asked.

"Unless something new crops up. Of course we'll have to keep him on steroids and immunosuppressants for a while, just to make sure his body doesn't end up rejecting the graft, but I think you can handle that at home.

Tears sprang to Kaoru's eyes, happy tears, the happiest she'd ever shed.

At long last, Yahiko's ordeal might be over. Wiping her tears away, Kaoru stood. "Thank you." She said. She would have hugged him, but there was still the desk between them, so she shook his hand instead.

"Don't thank me." He replied. "I won't take credit for those who survive just as I won't bear the blame for those who go the other way."

… . . …

_Come on, come on. _Kaoru chanted silently, sitting in front of her personal computer in her guest room/office on Thursday and using her mouse to click on the test result for Pharmacology 6030. The cursor turned into an hourglass and grew and shrank until finally a list of names appeared on the screen.

Kaoru started scanning, looking for "Himura." before remembering that she hadn't changed her name on any of her school stuff. "Kamiya…Kamiya. Here it is." She clicked on it and after another second with the hourglass, four words appeared on the screen. Kamiya, Kaoru Grade: B

Slowly, Kaoru let her breath go. She'd been right. She'd passed pharmacology without any problems. Combined with her other tests from earlier in the block, she could even end up with a A- for her final grade in the class. Amazing.

But Pharmacology had been the easiest exam. She had to pass all her exams in order to move on to her third year. Still nervous, she backed out of Pharmacology and clicked on the test scores for Art of Medicine, then Science of Medicine, and finally Hematopathology. She'd received a C a B- and a C-, respectfully.

She could slip though by the skin of her teeth, if only she managed to do well in Neuroanatomy. Biting her lip, Kaoru waited for the score of her last final, the one she'd worried about most, but when the list of students appeared on the screen, her name wasn't there. Had something gone wrong? Had the computer been unable to score her exam? Her stomach knotted. Oh no! Had she forgotten to put her name on her score sheet? Surely not!

Grabbing her purse, she ran out of the house, jumped into her car and thank heaven when it started right up. She wasn't sure what kind of office hours her professor kept now that school was out, but it was barely three o'clock in the afternoon. Maybe she'd be able to catch him.

The campus was almost empty. Kaoru had no problem finding a parking space or making her way to her professor's office, where she found him hunched over his desk. An older man with salt and pepper hair and warm, dark eyes, he looked up and she knocked on his open door. She bowed and apologized for interrupting him.

"Ms. Kamiya. I thought I might hear from you." He smiled.

Kaoru prayed it was a good smile. "Hi Professor. I just tried to check the score for my final exam on the Website, but…"

"It's not there." He finished. "Come in, I'd like to talk to you." Setting down his pen, he pulled a folder from underneath the avalanche of paper and began thumbing through it. When he reached Kaoru's exam, he pulled it out of the stack and set it in front of him, then motioned for her to pull up a seat.

"Neronatomy can be a difficult subject," he began, but couldn't concentrate on what he was saying. Her mind had shut out everything around her-everything except the 59 percent scrawled across her paper.

She'd failed.

… . . …

The small Indian restaurant smelled of the yellow curry that Kaoru liked so well. She stood at the entrance, close to the clatter coming from the kitchen, and searched the dining room for her uncle and Misao. They'd insisted she meet them for supper tonight, while Gensai was in town for Yahiko's homecoming, to celebrate if she'd passed her finals or to sympathize if she hadn't.

Spotting them sitting not far away, waving to her, she told the approaching hostess that she'd already found her party and made her way through the crowd.

"Yahiko's what's important." Uncle Gensai said, watching her face as she approached. "He's coming home tomorrow."

"Right." Misao echoed. "And if you didn't pass your exams, there are plenty of other things you can do with your life."

"Well it's kind of mixed news." Kaoru admitted, sliding into the booth next to her uncle, across from Misao. "I passed all my finals except neuroanatomy."

Misao arched a worried eyebrow. "Which means…?"

"Normally it would lower my grade point average and get me kicked out of the college. But my professor knows what's been going on with Yahiko's illness and says in order to give me a fair shake, he's going to let me retry the exam in three weeks."

"You're kidding!" Misao said.

"No."

"So you have more studying to do?" Her uncle asked.

"Yes, but I've got three weeks to do it in, and now that Yahiko's better, I can concentrate. My professor even said he'd tutor me. I'm supposed to meet him at his office weekdays at three o'clock."

Misao gaped at her. "That's great!"

Kaoru smiled and sat back so the waitress could deliver three glasses of ice water. Another stab at passing neroanatomy was great, she thought, but not nearly as incredible as Yahiko coming home in the morning.

"So are you going to call and tell Kenshin?" Misao asked.

Kaoru had just taken a drink of her water and nearly choked on it.

Her uncle, who'd turned his attention to the menu quickly lowered it. "Why would she do that?" he demanded.

"Because he called yesterday to talk to Yahiko and asked how things were going. He sounded like he really wanted to know the results."

"Then he could have stood by her, like he should have." Gensai snapped.

"Lets not start that again, Uncle Gensai." Kaoru said. "Although it might be a bit premature, this is suppose to be a celebration, remember?"

"Well, Yahiko was really happy to talk to him." Misao said, a defensive note creeping into her voice. "You should probably know that he told him he's getting out of the hospital tomorrow and begged him to come see him off."

A trickle of unease crept down Kaoru's spine. She'd boxed up Kenshin's toothbrush and hairbrush, his aftershave and cologne, and the few clothes he'd left at her place and delivered them to his back door almost two weeks ago while he'd been at work. But she hadn't seen him since the transplant and wasn't sure she was ready to face him again. "Did he say if he was coming?" She asked, hesitantly.

Misao shook her head. "I doubt he'll show without some indication from you that it's all right. But you could call him."

"He doesn't deserve to be included." Gensai said.

Kaoru wasn't so sure. He'd been good to Yahiko, and she _was_ carrying his child, plus it was his money that made Yahiko coming home possible. Part of her wished they could at least be friends. For Yahiko's sake, she thought maybe they should try. "Yahiko misses him," She pointed out. "If he's expecting him tomorrow, he'll feel terrible if he doesn't come. He's been begging to see him for days."

"But what about _your_ feelings?" Gensai demanded. "It might be a disappointment for Yahiko, but sooner or later he has to learn that he's out of the picture. He can't be trusted to.-"

Uncle Gensai, don't." Kaoru interrupted. "Kenshin's not like that."

"Why are you always defending him? After what he's done." Her uncle glared pointedly at her stomach.

After what he'd done? He'd given them Yahiko. If her uncle only knew, Kaoru thought, and for her, it went even deeper than that. "Because I love him," She said simply.

… . . …

He wasn't going to come.

The following morning, Kaoru smiled and thanked the doctors and hospital staff that had stopped in to say good-bye to Yahiko, but she couldn't concentrate on the chaos in her brother's room. She was too busy listening for Kenshin's steps in the hall, keeping one eyes trained on the door just in case and hoping-hoping to see him, hoping it wouldn't hurt too badly when she did, hoping her brother wouldn't be disappointed. But if Kenshin had received the message she'd left him on his voice mail last night, inviting him to the hospital to help take Yahiko home, he hadn't responded. She'd told him to come at ten o' clock. It was nearly eleven.

Misao and Gensai stood on the other side of the room, out of the doctors' way, holding balloons and cards and stuffed toys they'd gathered from the tables and chairs. Yahiko sat on the bed, center stage, dressed in matching shorts and t-shirt set Gensai had bought him and looking healthier than Kaoru had seem him in almost a year. What a relief! What a tremendous blessing! The moment was _almost_ perfect. If only Kenshin was here…

What was wrong with her? Kaoru chastised herself harshly. Wasn't the miracle of Yahiko's life more than she had a right to expect from Kami or the world or anyone else? That she might also pass her second year of med school was a bonus. She had no right to feel sorry for herself because she couldn't have Kenshin too. That was asking too much.

"The nurse will be here with your wheelchair soon. You all set?" She asked her brother when the last of the staff had wished them well and filed out.

Yahiko frowned. "We can't go yet." He said. "Onii-chan isn't here."

Kaoru glanced at Misao who looked almost as disappointed as she felt, then noted the you-should-have-listened-to-me arch to her uncle's eyebrow. "I bet Kenshin had to work, Yahiko-kun." She said. "He would have come if he could have."

"He'll be here," Yahiko insisted. "He wouldn't want me to go home without him."

Kaoru tucked her hair behind her ears and zipped up the suitcase that held the last of Yahiko's things. "You know Kenshin and Kaoru-chan are only friends now, Yahiko-kun. I've explained that to you already. He might act differently than he once did, but you can still be friends, okay?"

Yahiko pouted slightly, telling Kaoru just what he thought of her "friends" idea, but the nurse they had been waiting for appeared at the door with Yahiko's wheelchair just then, distracting them all. Yahiko could walk short distances, but it was the hospital's policy to see he made it safely to the car via wheelchair.

"Are we ready for our Prince to take a ride downstairs?" The nurse asked.

"No" Yahiko responded. "I can't leave until my big brother gets here."

"I'll let you call Kenshin once we get home," Kaoru told him. "But we have to go now. We can't make everyone at the hospital wait. They might need this room for another sick little boy. Besides, I have a surprise waiting for you."

"What is it?"

"If I tell you, it won't be a surprise."

Evidently, that wasn't good enough. "I don't want to go without Onii-chan."

Kaoru sighed. "Okay, it's a new art set you saw in the toy magazine, remember? The one you wanted so badly."

"The one with the special chalks?"

"Yeah."

"Can I play with it when we get home?"

"You bet."

The art set finally won Yahiko's cooperation, but his reluctance was still apparent when they loaded him up and headed out. "What if Onii-chan comes and we're not here?" he asked as they got to the elevator.

"He knows where you live, Yahi-kun." Misao responded. Kaoru was too busy watching the elevator doors close on the place she'd grown to know so well. It was difficult to believe she wouldn't be frequenting the hospital anymore, that she and Yahiko would be living a normal life. Excitement bubbled up inside of her at the thought of having a future that was now bright because her brother would be part of it.

"What are you going to do this summer?" The nurse asked Yahiko.

"I'm going to fly a kite with my big brother." He announced, and Kaoru almost groaned out loud, especially when her uncle pinched her arm. Her poor brother was as stuck on Kenshin as she was, and Gensai thought she should burst his bubble once and for all. But Kaoru couldn't insist her brother stop loving him, wouldn't tarnish his memory in the attempt. Kenshin was something they'd have to get over together.

The elevator settled on the first floor, and its doors parted with a mechanical clug. The nurse pushed Yahiko out and around the corner while Kaoru untangled the balloons her uncle held so they wouldn't get smashed in the elevator.

"Onii-chan! You're here. I knew you'd come!"

The sound of her brother's excited cry carried through the whole lobby, making Kaoru's heart nearly leap out of her chest. She rounded the corner just as Kenshin was entering the hospital, another bouquet of balloons and a plushie in his arms. He bent and hugged Yahiko and gave him his gifts, telling him how wonderful he looked and how happy he was that he was coming home. Then he straightened and his eyes caught Kaoru's.

The sound of movement in the lobby seemed to fall away in one instant. "Hi." She managed to say.

"Hi." Kenshin swallowed. "How are you?"

Kaoru pasted on a bright smile on her face. "Great, good. I passed all my finals except one, but I get to retake it in a few weeks. I should be able to pull it off without too much trouble."

"That's good, that it is."

"How's the Roost account? Did they sign?"

"Signed, sealed and delivered." He stepped toward her, then paused and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Thanks for inviting me to come."

"No problem. Yahiko was dying to see you. He really missed you."

Something in his eyes seemed to ask if Yahiko was the only one who'd missed him, but Kaoru thought she had to be imagining things.

"If you want, Yahiko can ride in your car," She offered.

"I'd like that." He took his hands out of his pockets long enough to loosen his tie. "Would you like to come with us?"

Dimly, Kaoru was becoming aware of her uncle's scowl and Misao's rapt attention. Clearing her throat, she forced her gaze to them. "No. I'll ride with Uncle Gensai and Misao. We'll meet you."

"Okay," he said, but he didn't turn to go. He just stood there, looking at her as if one sign of any kind would bring his arms around her.

"See you there, then." She said, amazed that she could even think he might be feeling any of the same emotions that were slamming into her like a tidal wave. _You're kidding yourself, he loves Tomoe_. She purposely gave him a wide berth as they went outside to load Yahiko into his car.

… . . …

Yahiko's first week at home was hard. Now that Kaoru was on her own, without the constant support and supervision of the doctors and nurses at the hospital, she felt frightened and alone. What if Yahiko was getting jaundice and she didn't see it in time? What if she missed something else? Some days she stared at her brother so hard her eyes went blurry as she tried to decide whether or not Yahiko's skin was turning yellow, hoping to detect the signs of GVHD before it could damage his liver. And the nights were worse. Kaoru would often wake in a cold sweat, fearing Yahiko had died in his sleep. She'd creep to her brother's room and hover over his bead until she saw the slight rise and fall of his chest. Then she'd breathe a sigh of relief and tiptoe back to her own room and believe, just a little more strongly that her brother was really getting well.

Kenshin called a couple of times the first week, only once the second week. Kaoru longed to talk to him, to voice her worries about Yahiko, to celebrate the vast improvement in his health, to see how he was doing. But he never asked to speak with her. He was quick and to the point if she answered, then talked to Yahiko and hang up, and she refused to open old wounds by pressing for more.

"Why won't you break down and call him?" Misao demanded the night before Kaoru had to take her neuroanatomy final. She was lying on the sofa above Yahiko, who was sitting on the floor watching an anime movie. They'd all been bingeing on the nachos Misao had brought over along with some soda, candy bars, ice cream and a cake from the nearby corner bakery.

"Because breaking down won't fix anything." Kaoru insisted.

"It might help you get through this transition period of having Yahiko home."

"He's been home for three weeks. The transition is nearly over, and Yahiko is doing great. He's almost back to normal, and my own fear is receding. I'm finally starting to relax and believe everything is going to be okay. So, you see? There's no reason to call him."

"Yes there is." The ice in Misao's glass clinked as she took a sip of her soda." You're pregnant with his baby for crying out loud. And Kenshin loves you. He just doesn't know it yet. I saw the way he looked at you the day Yahiko got out of the hospital. That was naked longing. An idiot could have spotted it."

"Who was naked?" Yahiko asked, pulling himself out of the movie for the first time since in started.

On the old chair, Kaoru frowned at Misao and repositioned the pillow she'd brought from her bedroom. "No one's naked Yahiko-kun. Do you want some popcorn?"

Yahiko had already stuffed himself with pizza and soda. He shook his head.

"Well it's nearly nine o' clock, kiddo. Time for you to be in bed. Should we turn this off and finish it in the morning?"

"Kao-ur-chan, I wanna watch the rest," Yahiko protested. "Can't I stay up a little bit longer?"

It was summer and Kaoru's final wasn't until tomorrow afternoon. There wasn't any reason either of them had to get up early. Kaoru had started working again, but she hadn't yet rebuilt her transcription business to include the number of medical practices she'd had previously. "Okay." She relented.

Yahiko went eagerly back to his movie, and Kaoru lowered her voice. "If he cares about me, why doesn't he talk to me when he calls Yahiko?" She asked Misao.

"Because you gave him nothing to hope for and the hospital when he came to take him home. Every time the two of you got anywhere close to touching, you backed away like he had the plague."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Come on, Kaoru, give him a chance to get over Tomoe."

"He's not asking for a chance."

"But you love him."

"I have Yahiko. I have school. I'm happy the way I am. Why are you pushing this anyway?"

"Misao shrugged and opened an ice-cream sandwich. "I like the way he treats Yahiko. He talks about him all the time, misses him. I think you two are meant for each other."

"He doesn't want me."

"I think you're wrong. Anyway, I've met someone myself."

Kaoru nearly dumped the bowl of popcorn she'd been holding on her lap. "What?"

"I've met someone. We're going out this Friday."

"Where did you meet him? Who is he?"

"He came through the checkout stand with a couple of cracked eggs. I sent the bagger back to get him a new carton, and he asked me out."

Twisting in her seat, Kaoru tried to get a better look at Misao's face in the dim glow of the tv. All the other lights were off. "Who is he?"

"Name's Aoshi Shinomori. He's a little older than I am. He's taking me out to eat on Friday, then he wants me to come out at watch him teach a sword fighting class. He's a instructor at one of the Dojos."

"Sounds fun." Thrilled that Misao, who rarely dated, might have found someone willing to look beyond her short stature and wild temper to the heart of gold inside. Kaoru felt her smile spread across her whole face.

"He's devoiced, has one kid almost two years old." Misao volunteered.

"You're great with kids."

"Yeah. That's what I thought."

Kaoru laughed. "Maybe we'll be shopping for your wedding dress next."

Misao pushed the junk food aside and settled back. "It's just a first date, Kaoru. Don't go renting the chapel yet." She said, but Kaoru could tell she was happier that she'd been in a long time.

* * *

A/n I knew Kaoru couldn't go too long without seeing Kenshin. But I'll let you in on a little secret…something big is going to happen in the next chapter! I won't say what or with who…so I'll just leave it at that. Thanks for reading! Reviews are loved!


	19. The Hurt

A/n hi everyone! Okay…I have bad news, worse news and somewhat okay news. Bad news first. Okay the bad news is that I'm moving out tomorrow sooo I'll have very little time to do any writing or updating for a few weeks. Worse news…my laptop died…meaning all the free time I would have, I can't use to write and all my already written work is locked inside it's hard drive. Okay news: I saved a few bits of work, including this one and I have my mini laptop (It's what I'm using now) so I can do a little bit of writing so all is not lost. I hope I'm able to somehow get my laptop working again. (The monitor won't turn on) But enough of that. I'm sitting on my bed surrounded by moving boxes and I figured I better update now while I can.

Disclaimer. I don't own anything.

* * *

"How's she doing?" Kenshin sat behind his desk, staring at his clock as he talked to his mother on the phone. It was November, almost five months since the day he'd taken Yahiko home. The leaves were turning on the trees, the days growing cooler. Kaoru would be well into her second trimester now.

Kami, he wanted to see her. He'd thought what he'd felt for her and Yahiko would fade, but it seemed to be growing stronger.

"You call me all the time and ask me the same thing," his mother complained. "why don't you call and ask her?"

He couldn't it was too hard. He'd quit calling because every time he talked to Yahiko, it got harder and harder to hang up without begging to speak to Kaoru. "It's better this way."

"Better for whom?"

Not wanting to fall into that old argument, Kenshin ignored the question. "Are you going to tell me how they're doing or not?"

"Kaoru's morning sickness is gone, and school's going well. Dr Takani thinks the pregnancy is progressing normally. And Yahiko is just like every other kid in his school now." His mother responded. "I think it's safe to say he's cured."

See? Yahiko was fine, and Kaoru was back on top again. They didn't need him. He was just about to hang up when his mother said, "But Yahiko still asks for you, you know."

Kenshin closed his eyes. At first he'd tried to keep a relationship with Yahiko, but he'd soon realized that he couldn't do that and keep his distance, he'd never be able to walk away when the baby came. And if he couldn't walk away, they'd need to work out some way of sharing both children, which sounded a lot like creating a real family. No, Yahiko and Kaoru came as a package deal, and he couldn't have anything to do with them, not as long as Tomoe was still hovering in the background of every thought, every action.

"Are you ever going to tell me why you and Kaoru broke up, Kenshin? I've gotten to know her quite well over the past five months, and she's a lovely, bright young woman."

His mother had asked what had gone wrong in their relationship before, several times, and Kenshin had always said they'd simply jumped the gun and married too soon, only to realize they weren't compatible. But His mother hadn't brought it before, and he knew she wouldn't buy it now. So he told her the truth.

"I'm still in love with Tomoe. It's almost like she's alive, watching me. Sometimes I turn around and expect to see her."

"You have to let her go sooner or later."

"I know. It's just hard to turn my back on the years we spent together."

"You and Kaoru have only known each other a short time. If given the chance, maybe you could build something every bit as wonderful"

"That wouldn't be fair to Tomoe." How did he explain that moving on, making the same promises to someone else somehow invalidated everything they'd shared.

"Do you believe Tomoe loved you, Kenshin?"

"I know she did."

"Then how can you think she'd want you to live the rest of your life alone?"

"How can I believe she'd want me to love someone else as much as I loved her? Yet it's not right to involve myself with another woman while holding back, to relegate someone to second place."

"That's true. That's why you let yourself love again and don't worry about places. It will never be the same as it was with Tomoe. Kaoru and Tomoe are two very different people. But it can be just as good. There's no betrayal in that."

Then why did he feel as if there was?

"If you couldn't be with Tomoe, would you want her to be lonely and miserable for the rest of her life?" his mother asked.

"Of course not."

"Do you think you're a more generous person that she was?"

His mother certainly had her moments. Kenshin thought she was having one now. "No."

"Then you have your answer."

… . . …

The following Saturday Kenshin stood staring at the pile of objects he's amassed, then bent to tape the bottom of one of the cardboard boxes. He was packing up Tomoe's things. His mother had volunteered to help him, but he'd chosen to face the experience alone.

And it was about time. Other than the items her family had wanted as keepsakes, he'd stowed her personal things in boxes in the basement just after the funeral, but that wasn't enough. He had to remove the cross-stitches, the photographs, the painting she had given him for their last anniversary and the lap blanket she'd covered herself with when they watched TV. There were books and trinkets everywhere, even certain pieces of furniture that reminded him constantly. Before he cold even think about moving forward, he had to put his feelings for Tomoe to rest. And to do that, he had to let go of the physical objects that kept her so close. Maybe he'd even sell the house.

"Hey you moving without telling anybody?" Sanosuke asked, coming through the front door Kenshin had left standing open since his last trip to the car for boxes. When he saw what Kenshin was doing, he nodded approvingly. "this is good, Man. Way to go."

Kenshin chuckled. In his own way Sano had been telling him to do this for months. He just hadn't been ready to listen. "How about you give me a hand?"

Sanosuke helped Kenshin heft one of the heavier boxes out to the trunk of his car.

"Where are you taking all of this?"

"Everything's going to charity, except the photos and the paintings."

"And those?"

"I'm storing them in the basement with the other stuff. I'll decide what to do with all of it when I sell the house."

Sanosuke slammed the trunk closed. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

Kenshin shrugged, knowing his change of heart had been anything but sudden. "I guess it's true what they say about time."

"Does this have something to do with Kaoru? Has she called?"

"No. I'm sure she's forgotten all about me."

Sanosuke looked doubtful. "She's your wife and she's having your baby. That makes you pretty difficult to forget."

Picturing Kaoru big with his child did funny thin to Kenshin. It made him warm and possessive, fiercely protective, and hungry to see her rounded middle. He wanted to touch it with his own hands, pull her back against his front while he kissed her neck and cradled her belly.

He wanted the baby. He wanted one for a long time. But this child was extra special because it came from Kaoru. Did that mean he wanted her, too?"

"She was just particularly vulnerable when Yahiko was sick, and I was there, at least for a short time." He said to stem the excitement his thoughts dragged up. "we both got a little confused for a while. That's all."

Sanosuke propped his hands on his hips. "If things are over, then you won't mind if I call her, right?"

Kenshin gave Sanosuke a look that promised violence if he so much a picked up the phone.

Sano laughed, even with amber swirling in Kenshin's eyes. "For a bright guy, this thing with Kaoru is taking you a while." He said. "But I have faith that you'll get there eventually."

Deep down, Kenshin knew he was closer than Sanosuke realized. He just hoped he wasn't too late.

… . . …

Kaoru glanced at the clock in the kitchen and drained her orange juice. "Thanks for coming to watch Yahiko. I'd better get moving or I'm going to be late."

"What time is your appointment?" Misao asked, helping Yahiko pour a bowl of cereal.

"Eight-thirty. Did I tell you I'm having an ultrasound?"

"You are? Is something wrong?"

"No, it's just Routine. I'm twenty-four weeks along now, and Dr. Takani want to be sure the baby's developing normally."

"Are you going to ask them t tell you the gender?"

Kaoru's thought about attaching a "He" or "She" to the child growing inside her and decided against it. She needed to keep as much emotional distance between her and the fetus as possible. She already doubted she'd be able to live if to her promise as give Kenshin the baby.

"I think I'll let that be a surprise." She dug in her purse for her keys. "I'm sure I'll be back, but if not, Yahiko has school at seven to two."

"I know where the school is. I picked him up a couple of weeks ago, remember?"

Kaoru did remember. Misao had been her mainstay, despite her preoccupation with one Aoshi Shinomori, who tool her out almost every weekend.

"Where are you going, Kaoru-chan?" Yahiko demanded when kaoru dropped a kiss on top of his head.

"To the doctor's"

"Are you going to get the baby out?"

Kaoru smiled. "Not yet, Yahi-kun." She tried to prepare her brother for the fact that the baby would live with Kenshin by using the rationale that they had each other and wouldn't want him to be alone. But Yahiko didn't think much of that idea. He wanted the baby _and_ Kenshin.

Unfortunaly, so did Kaoru.

"Do you have class today?" Misao asked.

"I only have lab on Fridays, at one. I'll be out in time to pick Yahiko up." Kaoru gave her friend a quick hug. "If Uncle Gensai calls, ask him if he's coming to visit. It's been a few months."

"You got it."

"I'm off. Wish me luck." Wearing a pair or black leggings with a large maternity shirt, Kaoru hurried into the living room and barreled through the front door, only to slam into someone coming up the walkway. She stumbled and would have fallen, if not for the arms that reached out catch her and pull her up against a broad chest.

"Kenshin! What are you doing here?" The sight and feel of him after so long make Kaoru want to fling her arms around his neck and pull him close. She ached to hold him and never let go.

But she wasn't foolish enough to put herself in the same position she'd been in six months ago. She stepped back, and his gaze fastened on her stomach, which had finally swollen enough to make her pregnancy obvious. Then his eyes slowly climbed to her face, holding some emotion Kaoru feared to name.

"I just came to see how you are, that I did."

She braved a smile and recovered herself enough to pull the front door closed. The last thing she needed was for Yahiko to hear Kenshin's voice and come bounding out of the house to welcome him with open arms. She had to get rid of him before he upset the careful balance she's achieved in their lives. "I'm fine, Yahiko's fine. Everyone's fine. And you?"

She wished she didn't sound so breathless, so panicked. He reached out, almost mesmerized as if he would touch her stomach. When she backed up another step, he dropped his hand.

"I could be better." He admitted.

"I wish there was something I could do to help, but I'm really in a hurry. I've got to go."

As she tried to dart around him, he caught her by the arm and pulled her left hand up to look at her fingers. Then he frowned. "You're not wearing your wedding ring."

It wasn't an accusation. He spoke as though the absence of his ring indicated something important, but Kaoru wasn't about to guess what that could be or why he'd care at this late date.

"I don't know why you ever bought me that ring. We're not married, not really, right?" she smiled as though the ring meant nothing to her when, in reality, she'd hidden Kenshin's diamond away because she couldn't stop gazing at it, wishing for him.

"I guess that's a matter of opinion." He said slowly. "The law says we're married, all that's left is the consummation."

Kaoru's heart skipped a beat, but she wouldn't meet his eyes. How many nights had she lain awake dreaming of that? "And we both know how well that went last time. I think all that's left is the divorce."

Desperate to escape him before she crumbled and admitted that she'd never craved a man the way she craved him, that a day hadn't gone by she hadn't longed for him, she wrenched her hand away and marched to her car, hopping he'd make things easy on her and just leave. Her life was finally her own again. She wouldn't risk her happiness another time, wouldn't be forced back into the position of having to explain to Yahiko why Kenshin didn't really want them.

"Kaoru, wait," he said, but she held up a hand to silence him. Whatever he was going to say, she didn't want to hear it. At least, that was what her head said. Her heart felt as though it might break.

"I'm really late," she mumbled. "I have to go."

… . . …

Kenshin jammed his hands into the pockets of his pants and watched Kaoru pull out of the driveway. Damn she looked great. With her long, shiny black hair pulled back with a ribbon into a ponytail, her cheekbones seemed even more prominent, her lips fuller, her eyes bluer. And Kenshin found her figure more appealing than ever, knowing he'd put that well in her belling. He wished, not for the first time, that he'd done it the old-fashioned way and promised himself that someday he would. They'd make two, maybe three more babies and have a houseful. If Kaoru ever gave him a chance.

At this point, it wasn't looking too hopeful.

The door opened behind him and he turned to see Yahiko standing in the doorway.

"I told Misao I heard you." He said, but he didn't come running to him as he once would have. He regarded him almost as warily as his sister had.

He hurt them both. He prayed he'd have a lifetime to make it up to them. "I had to see my Yuki-kun, that I did."

"Where have you been?"

Misao came to stand behind Yahiko. Kenshin acknowledged her with a nod, then turned his attention back to Kaoru's brother. "I guess you could say I've been doing some reorganizing. But I think everything's all set now."

"Some what?"

He chuckled "I've been putting some old things away, where they belong."

"Are you done?"

"Yes." He regretted Yahiko's mistrust, missed his easy acceptance and he knew he'd have to earn back his love. But he had no doubt he'd he easier to convince than Kaoru. Remembering Kaoru's passion-filled voice when she declared her love for him, he wondered if he'd ever hear her say those words again.

'Does the fact that you're here mean anything?" Misao asked.

Kenshin looked behind him to where Kaoru had disappeared down the street in her old car, wishing he'd parked behind her instead of on the street. "That remains to be seen, that it does."

"Now's the time to walk away if you're not sure."

He was sure. He'd spent the past six months making sure. "I'm not going anywhere. It's up to Kaoru now."

"In that case, she's on her way to the doctor's for an ultrasound." Misao grinned. "If I were you, that's something I wouldn't want to miss."

… . . …

Kenshin didn't bother to go to Dr. Takani's office. He knew she scheduled her ultrasounds with the lab on the first floor of the same medical complex her office was in, because he'd been there before, with Tomoe.

Pushing through the glass swinging doors with the lab's name painted across them in white, he scanned the lobby for Kaoru. She wasn't there, so he approached the front desk, where a form on the counter listed all the patients who'd checked in today. It was early yet, but Himura Kaoru was one of about eight names, second to the bottom.

Behind the desk, a copy machine hummed as the receptionist pressed its greet print button, then turned to smile at him. "May I help you?"

"I'm Himura Kenshin. My wife is here getting an ultrasound. She's expecting me to join her." he smiled. "Sorry, I'm a little late."

"No problem, Mr. Himura. I'll take you in." She came around to open the door leading to the offices in back, and Kenshin followed her through and area with temporary partitions and small workstations used for drawing blood to a darkened room where a screen hung on one wall. On that screen was the image of a baby. Kenshin could see its tiny hands and feet, the curve of its back, the roundness of its head. He could even see the flutter of its heart.

Spellbound, he watched his baby move inside Kaoru's womb. His baby. Their baby. The sight brought tears to his eyes.

Blinking rapidly, he swallowed against the sudden tightness of his throat, trying to temper his reaction. A man didn't cry, at least not in public. Except for the night Tomoe died, he'd survived the past two years without breaking into tears. But this…this was something else.

"Mrs. Himura? Your husband is here." The receptionist murmured.

Kaoru's startled gaze fastened on him, and everything Kenshin had planned to say simply disappeared. He just looked at her, knowing his heart was on his sleeve but having no power to shield himself against the rejection he feared.

"Kenshin?"

His name held the question he thought she'd voice out loud…what was he doing here? But she hesitated, as if she could sense his vulnerability, or was reaction to a little of her own.

When she didn't insist he leave, he moved closer, to the head of the table where she was lying with her shirt up, the technician's wand-like instrument on her belly. "Hi." He said simply, touching her hair.

She closed her eyes and reached for his hand, not to push it away, but to press her cheek into his palm and the lump in Kenshin's throat grew until it almost choked him.

"Do you want to know the sex of the child?" The technician asked, focused on her job and oblivious to the powerful emotions humming between him and Kaoru.

"Kenshin?" Kaoru questioned. "Do you want to know?"

Kenshin nodded because he couldn't speak, and the images on the screen changed as the technician examined the various body parts. At first he couldn't tell what he was seeing. It was all shades of gray going to black. But then he got a clear look at the baby's buttocks and legs and he didn't need anyone to tell him.

He was having a son.

… . . …

He'd take it slow, give her time, he told himself as he walked Kaoru out of the doctor's office. She'd permitted him to be included in the ultrasound, which was a step in the right direction and, for him, surpassed almost everything he'd experienced in his life so far. He'd been excited about his and Tomoe's baby, but he'd taken the pregnancy much more for granted. Now that he understood just how fleeting and precious life could be, he had a whole new respect for such momentous occasions.

"You're awfully quiet." Kaoru said.

Kenshin nodded. He didn't know what to saw, how to adequately ecpress what he was feeling, at least while his heart was still so tender. So he remained true to his sex and said nothing until they reached Kaoru's car.

"I don't like you driving this old thing, that I don't" he said because it was a lot easier than finding the words to tell her how grateful he was that he'd met her, how much she'd come to mean to him.

She raised her eyebrows in surprise. "You just found out you're going to have a son and the first words out of your mouth is about my car?"

"It's not safe." He explained.

She laughed. "Well until I make it as a successful pediatrician, I'm going to have to get by with it." She unlocked her door and put her purse inside.

'Where are you going?" he asked before she could get in.

"I've got lab today."

He reached into his pocket and pressed the keys into her hand. "Take my car. I'll feel better knowing you're driving it."

She frowned in confusion, making him shift uncomfortably. "What's going on, Kenshin?"

"Nothing." He cleared his throat. "I was just hoping you'd go out with me tonight. I mean, a man should be able to date his own wife, right?" he offered her a hopeful grin.

A look of uncertainty crossed her face. "I don't think so, Kenshin. I don't think I can be friends with you just yet."

"I'm not talking about being friends, that I'm not."

She studied his face for a moment, then shook her head. "No, I'm not ready for any emotional entanglements, wither. I just got Yahiko and me back on the right track. I need to move forward and not look behind, at least for a few years."

"A few _years_? I understand why you'd say that, Kaoru, but it's different this time. I'm different. I-" ah, to hell with words. They were enormously inadequate, anyway. Dipping his head, Kenshin pressed him mouth to Kaoru's. She shoved at him, but it was a feeble attempt to escape, and Kenshin couldn't take it seriously, not when he felt her soft lips give way beneath the pressure of his own until he could slide his tongue into her mouth.

He was sinking and flying at the same time, and the next thing he knew, she was in his arms, their baby between them. What has started out as a gentle communication of emotion had turned into a passionate, all-consuming kiss. But as deeply as he tasted her, as tightly as he held her to him, he couldn't get his fill of Kaoru. He wanted to drown in her, feel her welcome him for now and forever.

The heals of someone's shoes clicking on the pavement not far away brought Kenshin back to the fact that they were standing in the middle of a parking lot in broad daylight. He broke off the kiss, breathing hard, but he couldn't take his eyes off Kaoru's flushed face. Heaven and earth had just moved for him, and she'd felt what he'd felt. He knew she had.

"Come home with me." He whispered.

Kaoru looked dazed. She blinked up at him, then squeezed her eyes shut. "don't do this to me." She whispered, shoving his keys back in his hand.

"Just tell me if you still love me. " He said.

She took a deep breath and shook her head, but then she spoke, he could tell the words were painful for her.

"No. Go away. And don't come back."

Then she climbed into her car and rumbled out of the lot.

* * *

A/n Aww..Kenshin's trying But I think Kaoru's been hurt so deeply she's just trying to protect herself. I can't blame her. Anyways. I'll be able to update in a week or two. Hopefully. I'm super excited about the move but bummed that my computer died. Remember folks…back up your files. I should listen to my own advice more often. Thanks for reading everyone! Reviews are loved.


	20. The Love

A/n Well surprise everyone! It hardly took any time at all to get the internet hooked up after the move. So here I am, sitting on a futon in the middle of the living room with boxes all around me. I have a makeshift little nock where I can set up my mini laptop (and using a full sized keyboard and regular mouse.) and do some writing. Unfortunately the computer guys said I need a new motherboard on my main laptop and that it would be over $400...so we decided to just let my laptop die, pull the information from it and update to a brand new desktop for the new house in a month or two.

Special thanks to .. For the idea to get my information out of the computer. It was very helpful and will save all my little writing projects and art and other such files.

Thanks to all my other reviewers. All your well-wises for the move seemed to have worked, nothing major really happened and it seems the worst task is now slowly unpacking everything.

Disclaimer: I don't own the story or the characters.

* * *

"I'm outta here!" Sanosuke said that afternoon, poking his head into Kenshin's office.

Kenshin glanced up from where he stood behind his desk sorting files, trying to decide which ones he needed to take home with him. "See you Monday."

Sanosuke arched an eyebrow at the open briefcase on his desk. "don't tell me you're actually leaving at a decent hour. You got plans tonight?"

Kaoru had refused to see him, but Kenshin wasn't going to let her get away so easily. Not after that kiss. Her voice might tell him no, but her body was sending entirely different signals. "I've got something in mind."

Sanosuke gave him a questioning look. "What's up with you? You've been smiling all afternoon."

"I'm going to have a son." Kenshin said simply. He knew he was probably beaming like a little boy with a shiny new truck, but was unable to curb his elation.

"A son?" Sanosuke came a few steps farther into the room to brace his hands on the back of one of Kenshin's chairs. "Kaoru called?"

"No. She had a ultrasound this morning, and I was there." Sitting down for a minute, Kenshin put his arms behind his head, crossed his legs at the ankles and closed his eyes to relive it. "I got to see the baby and everything."

"Give the man a cigar." Sanosuke smiled. "Any other news?"

"Such as?"

"What's happening with you and Kaoru?"

Kenshin grimaced and sat up straight. "That's going to take some work."

"But it's fixable right?"

"I hope so."

"Come on, I'll walk you down to your car."

"No, you go ahead. I have a quick call to make." Suddenly excited now, Kenshin picked up the phone and dialed Kaoru's number. Sanosuke paused at the door as Yahiko answered.

"Hi Kid, this is Onii-chan."

"Hi Onii-chan!"

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing."

"Where's your sister?"

"In the kitchen. She's making some miso soup, it's my favorite."

That's great. But be sure to save some rom for popcorn afterward okay? I want to take you to the movies tonight."

"Is Kaoru-chan going?"

"No, just me and you."

"Oh I get it." Sanosuke said softly. "You're using the little boy to get close to Kaoru. You're playing dirty."

Kenshin smiled and covered the mouthpiece. "No, I'm playing for keeps.

… . . …

"Kaoru-chan, Kaoru-chan! Onii-chan's on the phone! He wants to take me to the movies!

Can I go? Please, Kaoru-chan? Can I, huh?"

"What?" Kaoru set the container of miso paste down on the counter. "What are you talking about Yahi-kun?"

"Onii-chan's on the phone."

"He is?' she heard the phone ring but she expected it to be her uncle or Misao. They called often and were just as happy to talk to Yahiko as Kaoru. She never dreamed it would be Kenshin. Not after this morning when she told him to leave her alone.

"Can I go?" Yahiko asked again.

Kaoru shook her head, wondering how to handle this new turn of events. "Let me talk to him."

Tucking her hair that had fallen out of her ponytail behind her ears, she snagged the phone off the far counter. "Kenshin?"

"Hi Kaoru?"

Kaoru's stomach did a triple somersault and dived, just at the sound of his voice. What was ever going to become of her? "Yahiko said you wanted to take him to the movies?"

"If that's alright."

Yahiko was jumping up and down next to her, a look of desperation on his face. "Pleeese, Kaoru-chan."

"You didn't think to ask me first, Kenshin?"

"So you could tell me no?"

Kaoru sighed. She thought he'd understood that when she'd told him to stay away from her , she'd meant Yahiko, too. It appeared she should have been more specific. Turning away from her brother, she lowered her voice. "You can't just keep waltzing in and out of our lives."

"I'm not going anywhere this time," he cheerfully informed her. "As a matter of fact, I'm not even going home tonight, that I'm not."

Surprised stiffened Kaoru's spine. "You're not? Where are you going?"

"I'm staying at your place. Just thought I'd give you some notice."

Kaoru's heart slammed against her rib cage and stopped. She resisted the urge to smack her chest to get it going again. "I'll prepare the guest room."

"Don't bother, I'll be sleeping with you." He said. Then the phone clicked and a dial tone

hummed in her ear.

… . . …

Kaoru didn't care if Kenshin was spending the night or not. She wasn't going to sleep with him. after what had happened last time, he was the last man on earth she'd trust with her heart or her body.

But she showered, washed her hair and shaved her legs, twice. The makeup she applied was to make herself feel good. She wasn't trying to impress him. and the expensive vanilla and jasmine scented lotion? She put that on after her shower every day…or at least once a year.

When the doorbell rang, Yahiko rushed to answer it while Kaoru feigned interest in a novel. She'd read the first three pages several times, but had no idea what the book was about. She'd been too nervous knowing that Kenshin was on his way over.

If she was half regretting her decision not to go to the movies with him before he arrived, she regretted it tenfold after. He looked better than a fudgy brownie standing at her door wearing a pair of snug worn jeans and a pink polo shirt. His crimson hair was free of it's normal braid to hand down his back, held together only by a tie at the nape of his neck.

She remembered that lithe body snug against hers, his mouth on her own, hungry and wet and had a hot flash.

Damn hormones, she silently cursed.

"You sure you don't want to join us?" he asked, his soft smile tempting her to forgive him, to trust him. "A nice movie, fresh popcorn, maybe an ice-cream sundae afterward?"

The ice-cream almost got her, but Kaoru shook her head. She needed time to shore up her crumbling defenses. Kenshin wasn't an easy man to refuse. And it would be dark and late when they returned. Nights were difficult enough when she was only imagining his presence. Maybe she should spend the next two hours going to the hardware store to purchase a dead bolt for her bedroom door.

"Have a great time." She said, giving the wriggling excited Yahiko a hug. Her brother waved good-bye and promptly took Kenshin's hand to lead him away.

"We'll be back soon, that we will." He said, leaning close to add as a whisper in her ear,

"In the meantime, any chance you could dig out those silk pajamas you wore on our wedding night?"

Kaoru swallowed and looked down at her rounded tummy. She just bet she'd make quite a sight in a size two sizes too small for her now. But that didn't stop her from finding out, once they left. Standing in front of the mirror, she adjusted the beige silk shorts several times, but nothing she did made them look any better.

Unfortunately, none of her other sexier lingerie, also leftovers from her first marriage, made much improvement. She had no waist. Now, breasts….well breasts were another story. She'd gone up two bra sizes in the past three months.

But none of that mattered, right? Because Kenshin wasn't going to see her wearing anything but her grand-mother-ish castoff nightgown. One of those cotton snap button numbers would be enough to drive lascivious thoughts out of any man's head. Kenshin would take one glance at her, realize she looked like a round granny more than she looked like his beloved, long-lost Tomoe. And he's run for the hills again.

Better that than to have him reject her while she was wearing something in which she felt cautiously hopeful. Then she'd feel completely unappealing, the way she did after the last incident. Only this time would be worse because she weighed an extra fifteen or twenty pounds. And that much weight on her already petite frame was extremely noticeable.

The baby began to squirm inside of her, and she smiled ruefully and her undulating middle. "I'm not blaming you." She said aloud, rubbing it affectionately. "It's just that daddy of yours. He makes me crazy."

Crazy in love, she admitted, but only to herself.

… . . …

Kenshin held Yahiko on one knee during the movie so he could see over the row of people in front of them-and because he liked the feeling of being his bigger brother. He'd fought for six months to forget Kaoru and Yahiko, but getting them out of his blood had been virtually impossible.

Now he enjoyed the peace of giving in to his attraction. They belonged together. He believed that now. He believed that the time he'd spent feeling bereft and alone since Tomoe's death was about to come to an end.

The animated characters on the scream burst into song, and Yahiko's eyes widened, his eyes shinning with the rapt attention. Children were so easy to please. Kenshin only hoped Kaoru would prove as open to him as Yahiko had been. She'd once told him she loved him, and he'd thrown the words back in her face. That would be tough to forgive, but he was determined to make it up to her.

He glanced at his watch suddenly impatient to get home. He wanted to crawl into bed with Kaoru, feel the shin he'd longed to touch for so long, have her turn to him and put her arms around his neck and let him make love to her for the first time. Then maybe he could dispel some of the fear that he'd lost her for good.

"Onii-chan?" Yahiko asked once they hit a slow point in the movie. He twisted slightly to face him.

"Himm?" he responded though his thought's were still on Kaoru.

"Why does uncle Gensai call you a baka?"

Kenshin chuckled. "I guess your sister isn't the only one I have to win over again huh?"

… . . …

"Ohmygosh, I think he's here." Kaoru pulled the phone cord with her as she crossed the living room to peak out the window. Sure enough the headlights of Kenshin's car blinded her for a minute, then the purr of his engine died and the lights flashed off. "It is him. Oh, no! What am I going to do? I never made it to the hardware store."

"Calm down." Misao told her. "You don't need a lock. Jezz you need a tranquilizer."

"Are you kidding?! My mind has to be sharp. He said he's staying her tonight, and I know that I'll sneak into his room is he doesn't sneak into mine."

"Kaoru, listen. You guys are married. It's about time you came to this. There's no reason to say no. Obviously, if Kenshin's back, he's ready for a more serious relationship."

"That isn't obvious to me at all. What if I scare him off again? When he gets close or kisses me, he makes me say…things."

"Things?"

"Horrible things that come from somewhere deep inside me, somewhere I've never heard from before."

"Like?"

"Like, I love you more than life itself, and like, I want to have your baby, do your laundy, scrub your back and pick up your underwear."

"Jezz, what's so horrible about that? Aoshi would love if I said that."

"No! It makes Kenshin realize he doesn't feel the same about me. He doesn't want me out there buying curtains and messing up Tomoe's décor."

"I think telling him how your feel is the right way to go. At least you're being upfront with him. At least he knows your terms from the onset. As a matter of fact, I admire him for not taking advantage of you six months ago."

"Misao?"

"Yeah?"

"What if I want him to take advantage of me?"

"You said you're wearing your granny housecoat You must not want it too badly."

Kaoru could hear Yahiko's voice as they came up the walk. "I've got to go." She whispered into the phone and slammed it down, wondering is she had time to dash to her bedroom before she had to open the door. She was wearing a robe, but underneath she had on a sheet white nightie, a definite giveaway.

Jingling at the lock told Kaoru that Kenshin still had his key. She didn't need to answer the door. She could hide in her room. She started down the hall, the realized how cowardly it would appear for him to find her huddling beneath the quilts. She was a modern woman, right? Sexually mature. She could handle this situation like an adult.

Clearing her throat, she turned on the light and smiled as Kenshin and Yahiko came through the door.

"Hi Kaoru-chan!" Yahiko launched himself into her arms, taking Kaoru by surprise. She stepped back but the force of the impact pulled her robe open and little in the front and Kenshin's gaze immediately dropped to a section of white lace and showed through.

He grinned. "It's not the silk pajamas, but I have a feeling I'm going to like it even better."

"It's flannel. It just looks like lace," Kaoru said, tightening her belt.

"Uh-huh."

Kaoru felt her cheeks heat and cursed her own weak will. "Anyway I was just trying it on."

"Right. Should I put Yahiko to bed or should you?" he asked, moving in close, his breath smelling faintly like spearmint gum.

Taking her brother by the hand, Kaoru retreated to the bathroom, where supervised Yahiko as he brushed his teeth. Then they moved to the bedroom, so Yahiko could put on his pajamas and say his prayers. Kaoru took an extra few minutes to read him a book, even though it was far past her bedtime, because part of her hoped Kenshin would fall asleep waiting for her.

The other part knew she'd kill him if he did.

When she shut Yahiko's door behind her, she found Kenshin in the living room, watching the news. He clicked off the TV the moment he saw her standing in the hall

"I put clean sheets on the bed in the guest room," She said.

"Uh-huh," He stood. His jeans clung to all the right places but Kaoru tried not to notice.

"Let me know if you need anything."

"Right." He started down the hall toward her.

She swallowed, her throat suddenly dry and held up a hand to keep him from getting too close. "I think I'll turn in."

"But you said to let you know if I need something. I do need something. In fact, I'm fairly certain I'll die without it, that I will." He took her hand and put the first two fingers against his lips. He kissed the sensitive pads of her fingertips before he ran his tongue across them.

"What's that?" She managed to say, the sensation and wet warmth triggering other images in Kaoru's mind and made her breathing quicken.

"You."

"But…there's Yahiko. And I don't think…I don't think it would be wise to-"

He was close enough to put his arms around her and draw her to him. Instead he slipped his hands inside her rode and beneath the sheer fabric of her nightie to reverently caress her protruding belly. He watched her as he touched her, a look of wonder claiming his face. "You're having my baby,"

"Yes." Her voice was a horse whisper. "But Yahiko's just right down the hall."

"And you're my wife."

"I know but-"

"Married couples sleep together. I don't think Yahiko will have a problem with it."

Lowering his mouth to her neck, he kissed her lightly all the way up to her ear. "Kami, you taste good. I think I've dreamed of claiming you as my own since the first time we met."

His words added fule to the fire smoldering low in Kaoru's stomach. She thought if he touched her again, she might melt to the floor.

He lifted his head and pulled the robe open all the way so he could see her. "I don't think I've ever seen a more beautiful sight," he said. "You're gorgeous and you're mine. Kaoru Himura. We belong together."

Together sounded good, better than it ever hand. Kaoru forgot her apprehension and self-consciousness. She could tell by the look on Kenshin's face that he was sincere. Pregnant or not, he desired her as much as she desired him.

Pulling his head toward her, she kissed him, letting her tongue meet his. Her hands lodged in his hair, tugging him closer, feeling the warmth and strength of him surround her. She wanted to to feel him inside her. She wanted to wrap her legs round him and become one, and she knew she didn't want to wait a very long to do it. It had been long enough already.

As though her impatience had somehow communicated itself to him, he swung her into his arms as carried her through the hall and into her bedroom. He set her on the bed and quickly peeled her robe away, then feasted on the sight of her in her sexy lingerie. "How can you look even better to me than before?" He whispered, lowering his head and gently teasing her hardened nipples through the sheer fabric of her top with his lips.

"I'm not going to tell you I love you." She blurted, balling her hands into fists and trying to hand on to the anchor of that one thought amidst the onslaught of sensation coursing through her.

'What?" his hands paused in stripping them both of their clothes, and he pulled back to look in her face.

"I'm not going to tell you I love you," she repeated stubbornly, meeting his gaze.

His eyes narrowed at the challenge as he ran a finger lightly over the swell of one breast all the way to it's tip. Kaoru bit back a groan, and couldn't help but arch towards him as he pulled away, feeling as though he'd suddenly deprived her of air, and he grinned. "Oh yeah?" He whispered, rolling her carefully onto her back. "Then I'm going to make love to you until you do, that I am."

… . . …

Kenshin woke early, feeling more content and relaxed than he had since Tomoe died. He half expected some kind of remorse to hit him when he thought of her-he'd blown past all barriers and committed himself to Kaoru, with his heart, his soul, his body-but strangely enough, he felt only happiness.

Kaoru was nestled beside him, sleeping in the crook of his arm. Her wild, tousled hair made him smile. She'd been phenomenal. Passionate, responsive, soft, sexy. He loved her now more than ever, and he'd told her so, over and over again. The first time they made love, he'd whispered it in her ear and in his mind with ever thrust, over and over until she'd finally relented at the pinnacle of her pleasure and moaned the same thing to him.

In the aftermath, he'd cupped her face in his hands, kissed her eyes, her nose, her mouth and promised he'd never hurt her again.

"What are you smiling about?" Kaoru's eyes were open now, and she was staring up at him.

Kenshin traced the outline of her cheek with one finger. "You, last night."

She shyly returned his smile. "I've never experienced anything like what happened last night."

"It was perfect, because you're perfect." He kissed her, the beginning of desire flaring again at the feeling of her smooth legs entwined with his own. He wondered if they had time to do anything about it before Yahiko woke up and decided they probably didn't.

"You told me last night you loved me." She said, rolling up to her elbows. "Did you mean it?"

He tweaked her nose. "How can you even ask me that? I must have told you a hundred times."

"I guess I'm just wondering what it means."

His hands worked their way up her firm backside and pulled her closer. "it means we're a family now. It means we share Yahiko and this baby, that we take turns with our son's midnight feedings and diaper changes- if I decide to let you help me." He teased, grinning up at her.

She raised a eyebrow. "I'm gong to nurse the baby so you'd better be nice. You might need me more than you think."

"I already need you far more than I ever dreamed possible." He admitted. "I love you Himura Kaoru. I'm glad you're my wife."

Kaoru smiled at that, but after a moment her smile disappeared and she started chewing on her lip.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"We don't have to live in your house, do we?"

He chuckled. "No, I put my house up for sale. I thought I'd buy something up here, close to the university, at least while you're finishing school. That way Yahiko can stay at the same school."

"That could be fun. I've never owned a house before."

"Then I think you should get to pick it out, that I do."

"We'll pick it out together. Something with lots of potential and character."

"Oh no!" he groaned. "I can already see our weekends filled with sanding and panting and plastering."

"It'll be fun."

"As long as you give me plenty of incentive."

"There will always be that." She ran her fingers in his hair. She had pulled out his tie the night before and it was a wild mane on his shoulders. "Until then…will you stay here?"

"Every night."

Her hand dropped to cup his jaw. "you're something else. You know that? What made you change your mind about me?"

He nuzzled her neck and kissed her ear. "I never changed my mind, Kaoru. I just moved some things out of the way. And it feels right, don't you think?"

She nodded, but then her eyes clouded again. "You know how badly I want to become a doctor right? You won't expect me to give that up?"

"I don't expect you to give up anything, except perhaps your medical-transcription work. I think between the kids and school, remodeling an charming old house and a demanding husband who'll want every extra minute you can give him, You'll have your hands full, don't you?" He rolled her onto her back and kissed her belly, starting at her belly button and moving up through the valley of her breasts.

She played with his hair, twirling the locks around her fingers. "I don't know." All those hours of tedious typing might be tough to let go of."

'Yeah I can tell you're pretty broken up about it." His hand closed over one breast and he pressed himself against her body. "What time does Yahiko normally wake up?"

"Seven."

Kenshin checked his watch. "Damn, it's past seven now."

Kaoru chuckled. "We could always tell him to watch a few anime's." She suggested. "Or, if we're really quiet, maybe he'll sleep late."

He nestled his face against the curve of her neck and shoulder and breathed deeply. "I like the way you think," He said, his voice muffled but before he could act on her invitation the phone rang.

They banged heads in their rush to answer it before it could wake Yahiko. Kaoru fell back, rubbing her forehead and laughing while Kenshin answered.

"Hello?"

Silence.

'Hello?"

"Kenshin is that you?"

"Mom, what are you doing calling Kaoru at seven in the morning on a Saturday?" He demanded.

"I just wanted to see if she needs me to watch Yahiko while she studies for a few hours.

What are you doing there?"

"I life here now. He winked at Kaoru, thinking that might throw his mother, but she didn't skip a beat.

"It's about time you came to your senses."

"Sometimes I'm a little slow."

She laughed. "is that Kaoru I hear in the background?"

"Uh-huh. She wants me to thank you-"

"Kaoru-chan, Onii-Chan? Yahiko asked, his voice coming through the closed door. Kaoru jumped out of bed to dress and Kenshin sighed "-for waking Yahiko."

"I could take him for the day, give you two some time alone." His mother said.

Kenshin got out of bed and pulled on his own clothes. "No, we appreciate the offer to baby-sit, but we have other plans today."

"We do?" Kaoru turned to look at him as she let Yahiko in.

Yahiko rushed right past his sister and threw his arms around Kenshin's legs. "You're still here!"

"I'm still here kid." He said mussing his hair. "And I'm not going anywhere."

"What are we going to do today?" Kaoru persisted.

"We're going to fly kites."

"Kites?" Kaoru echoed. "It's November."

"I don't care, that I don't. I feel like flying kites."

"Just like in my dream!" Yahiko announced.

"Only better. " He promised.

… . . …

Kaoru stood at her dresser gazing into her jewelry box. Her body felt as light as a helium balloon after all that had transpired. Every time she thought of Kenshin and the tender, passionate way he made love to her, she smiled. Their initial relationship might have started out as a business deal, but she felt certain she'd gotten the better end of the bargain. Because of him, the doctors had been able to save Yahiko's life. Because of him, she was happier than she could imagine.

She almost whished she could thank Saitou for running off. The past couple of years had been tough, but she and Yahiko had weathered the storm, and now they'd found a beautiful rainbow at the end of their journey.

Or was it just the beginning?

Turning sideways, she studied her pregnant profile, smiling faintly. _We're going to have a son. We're going to raise him together with Yahiko._

"Kaoru, are you coming?" Kenshin called from the living room. While she showed, he and Yahiko had be busy making a picnic lunch for their outing to the park. They were in a hurry to get going but she was too content to move very fast.

"I'll be right there!" She dug into her jewelry bo until she uncovered a soft velvet case. Snapping it open, she gazed at her wedding ring for a long time thinking it more beautiful than ever before. The diamond had once been a symbol of Kenshin's generosity. Not it was a symbol of his love, of forever. She though, and slipped it on her finger.

* * *

A/n Oh NO! we're getting close to the end. I know a lot of people figured the story still had a good chunk left/ So now it seems that everything fell right into place. But Kenshin and Kaoru are in for a little bit of a shock in the next chapter. Something they hadn't seem coming at all. Thanks for reading everyone! Reviews are much loved.


	21. The Baby

A/n Hi everyone...so sorry about the wait. I've been super busy, but here is the last chapter. This writing exercise had been a trip, and I'm glad to share it with you. I'll be updating my profile soon to talk about my new and upcoming stories. I hope to see my reviewers there. My new stories should pop up here and there in the next few weeks, so keep an eye out for them hehehe. Having you guys with me through this exercise has been fun and I can't wait to post my new work.

Enough of my jabbering…

Disclaimer. I don't own the characters or the story.

* * *

_January._

"It's time. You need to come get me."

'What?" Kenshin sat on the other end of the line, in his office staring blankly at Sanosuke and the clients seated across from him. his secretary had just interrupted his meeting to say he had an emergency, but Kaoru wasn't due for another six weeks. What could she mean by "it's time"?

"The baby's coming. Hurry, Kenshin."

Kaoru had a healthy, uneventful pregnancy, but the panic in her voice now made it difficult for him to breathe.

"But it's too soon."

"I don't think our son cares. He's on his way."

"Oh boy." Kenshin stood up, sat down, stood up again. Was something wrong with the baby? Why would it come early? "I'll be right there, Kaoru. Where are you? Don't try to walk anywhere. I'll get you."

"She chuckled. "What are you going to do? Drive up on the lawn? I'm at the pay phone on campus, near the library, but I can make it to the front where you usually pick me up.

I'm just a little nervous. I had so many backaches with the pregnancy that I didn't know I was in labor until the pains started coming hard and fast." Her voice became strangled for a second and he heard her pant. "I'm afraid we don't have much time."

They'd been to Lamaze. Kenshin knew that pant meant she was having a contraction.

"Honey, don't be frightened. I'll drive up on the lawn if I have to."

"I'll be waiting by the main entrance."

He slammed the phone down and started from the room almost forgetting to explain himself. At the last minute he said. "I have to go, my wife is having our baby." Then he ran to the elevators, cursed the damn things for taking so long, considered scaling the twenty stories to the ground floor via the stairs, and decided it would actually be quicker to wait.

As soon as the elevator doors sprang open, he hit the lobby button, descended and dashed to his car.

Kaoru was waiting at the main entrance, as she'd said, but he could tell by her face that something wasn't right. He pulled up, his heart in his throat as he ran would to help her in the car.

"You okay?"

"I think so." She reached out to squeeze his hand. "Just get me to the hospital."

"Maybe we should go to the University hospital. It's right here."

"No, Dr. Takani can't deliver here, I already called her. She's on her way, she'll meet us at the hospital."

"What if we don't make it?"

She grinned. "Then you get to deliver the baby yourself."

"We'll make it." he said. "That we will."

Other than one construction delay, traffic wasn't a problem this afternoon. Kenshin wove through the streets, speeding when could safely do so, and turned into the emergency entrance of the hospital only fifteen minutes later.

Kaoru was in the middle of another labor pain. Her eyes were closed and her hands balled into fists.

"We're here." He said gently. "I'll be right back." He jumped out and jogged into the hospital to get a wheelchair, but Kaoru was already wadding in when he returned.

"Here you go." He said, helping her sit down.

They'd toured the hospital shortly after their Lamaze classes had ended. Kenshin knew exactly where to go. He wheeled Kaoru down a long corridor, turned left, passed through a set of double doors, and waved to get a nurse's attention as soon as they entered the maternity ward.

"What have we here?" Asked the nurse as she approached them.

"My contractions are every two minutes or so apart." Kaoru said.

"When's your due date?"

"Next month."

She frowned. "Okay. Wait right here. I'll get you a room."

Minutes later, the nurse returned and showed Kenshin and Kaoru into one of the hone-style birthing rooms they'd visited on their tour. "Has Dr. Takani arrived yet?" Kenshin asked.

"Not yet. You've called her then?"

"Yes. She's on her way." Kaoru said.

"Good." The nurse handed her a gown. Change into this. Then I'll check and see how far you've dilated. Has your water broke yet?"

"No. is that good?"

"If we wait to try and stop the labor, it is. Once your water breaks, stopping it isn't an option. But I'm not sure what Dr. Takani is going to do. She might want to let you go ahead and have it. You're what, Thirty-four weeks?"

"Give or take a few days."

The nurse nodded and left.

Kenshin helped Kaoru change and get settled in bed. "The doctor will be able to stop the labor it it's too early," He said, hoping to convince himself, as well as Kaoru, that they had nothing to worry about. "Even if we have the baby now, it should be all right. I mean people have premature babies all the time, right?"

Kaoru was breathing deeply though her nose at the tail end of another pain. When it released its hold on her body, she took his hand and kissed his palm. "I've never seen you so uptight." She said. "Everything's going to be fine."

He nodded, but he lost too much in a hospital once before to relax now. "Should I have the nurse call an anesthesiologist?"

"Nope. We're going natural remember?"

He grinned. "I thought you might change your mind."

"Maybe I will." She said, giving him a rueful smile. "But I haven't yet."

"What about Yahiko?" he glanced at his watch. "He gets out of school in twenty minutes."

"I called Misao from campus. She's going to pick him up. Everthing's taken care of."

"Did you call your Uncle? He needs some notice so he can make the drive."

"Not yet. You can call him if you want. But I'm not sure he'll talk to you. He's still convinced your going to run out on me."

Kenshin laughed. "He'll come around." When he was old and gray. He thought to himself.

He made the call then alerted his own mother. "They're both on their way." He told Kaoru just as the nurse who'd returned while he was away finished her examination.

"You've dilated to six." She told Kaoru. "At this point, I doubt Dr. Takani will try and stop the labor."

'Did I hear my name?" Dr. Takani entered the room wearing street clothes, whish she quickly covered with a blue smock the nurse gave her. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I need to push," Kaoru said, panting through another contraction.

The doctor pulled on some latex gloves and checked her again. "This is going fast. Bring me a stool and get the bed ready."

"You're not going to stop it?" Kenshin asked.

"No, It's too late for that."

The nurse rolled a stool to the doctor and adjusted the bed so Dr. Takani could more easily reach Kaoru.

"I have to push," Kaoru grunted during the next contraction.

"Not yet." Dr. Takani warned. You haven't dilated all the way, I don't want you to tear."

Kaoru gritted her teeth, letting Kenshin know the contractions were beginning to run together. "I have to push!" She said again.

Dr. Takani quickly checked her cervix. "Hang on for just a few more contractions, Kaoru."

"Come on, Sweetheart, you can do it." Kenshin said, trying to play his part as coach. But he'd never felt more helpless or useless in his life. His wife was lying on the bed, suffering and the baby he wanted for so long was coming six weeks early. Would his son be whole. Healthy?

Suddenly blood gushed from Kaoru as though someone had turned on a faucet. Judging from the look of surprise on the doctor's face, it wasn't normal.

"We're going to need a transfusion here, stat." The doctor barked to the nurse. "And get an anesthesiologist. She's hemorrhaging. We'll do a C-section"

Kenshin started at the growing pool of blood, the doctor's words echoing in his heat. What did it mean? Surely Kaoru's life wasn't in danger. The fear that it might be shot a pain right through his heart.

_Oh, Kami, please, not again._

Other doctors and nurses flooded the room, working with quick efficiency. They ignored him until Dr. Takani cried, "Someone take him out while we move her to an operating room."

Kenshin ignored Dr. Takani and clung to Kaoru's hand, feeling naked and vulnerable and terrified.

"Kenshin?" Kaoru looked up at him, her eyes dazed by pain.

_Kami, not Kaoru!_

"I love you." She whispered. "No matter what happens always remember that."

"Kaoru, don't leave me. I won't let you go." He said but a nurse took him by the arm and dragged him away before she could respond.

… . . …

Kenshin's mother joined him in the lobby of the hospital after thirty minutes of waiting.

"What's the matter, Son?" She asked as soon as she saw him.

Kenshin let her hug him, clung to her too long perhaps, then made himself pull away. "She started hemorrhaging."

Her eyebrows knit together with worry. "What did the doctor say?"

"Nothing. A nurse keeps coming out to say everything is going fine, but she won't get any more specific than that."

"And the baby?"

"I don't know. They're doing a cesarean. And because it was an emergency, I couldn't go with her."

Tears filled his mothers eyes, and Kenshin put an arm around her to comfort her. She talked to him, telling him she was sure everything would work out, but he wasn't listening. His thoughts revolved around the last time he'd had a wife and child in the hospital. The doctors had told him they couldn't save Tomoe and her unborn child. He'd been forced to choose between them and lost them both, and afterwards, in his bitterness, he'd sworn there'd never be with anyone else.

He'd been wrong about that. Even though his relationship with Kaoru had initially revolved around the baby he longed to have, he knew, if he had to make the same decision today he'd had to make with Tomoe, his wife or the child…he'd choose Kaoru.

He didn't understand the human heart or its capacity for love, but he knew that Kaoru meant ever bit as much to him as Tomoe had. She was the cornerstone of his family now, and he prayed he wouldn't lose her.

"Mr. Himura?"

At the sight of the nurse, Kenshin jammed a hand through his hair and stood, his gut knotting in frightened anticipation. "Is she okay?" he asked.

She smiled. "You're wife is in stable condition."

He closed his eyes and let his breath seep out. "And my son?"

His mother took his hand and squeezed.

"He's beet-red and angry at the moment, but he's going to be fine. We weighed six pounds, two ounces, not a bad size for six weeks early."

Kenshin couldn't believe it. He stood staring at his mother for several seconds before he came to his senses enough to ask, "Can I see my wife?"

"Their still stitching her up, but you can come and hold your baby."

Kenshin felt a slow smile creep over his face. His baby. He finally had his baby. And he had Kaoru and Yahiko, too. Feeling as if he was walking on air, he followed the nurse to the nursery, where a rolling cradle just inside the entrance held an infant squalling at the top of its lungs. The nurse lifted the tightly wrapped bundle and placed him in his arms.

"Meet your son, Mr. Himura."

Glancing at his mother, who'd followed them. Kenshin smiled. Then he gazed down to the red, shriveled face of his son, smelled the sweet newness of him, kissed the fuzzy round head-and knew he'd never have to worry about clinging to the edge of the pool again.

For Kaoru, Yahiko and his new son Kenji, he'd dive into the deepest part of the ocean.

* * *

A/n The End! I hope you guys liked the story, I'm sorry updates were taking a little longer than normal here at the end but at least I got it all posted. Remember to keep an eye out for my new work And I'm always looking for new ideas and projects so if you have any and want to share, feel free to do so. Thank you for reading everyone! Reviews are loved!


End file.
